REALITY
Is It A Good Thing?
Or Not?
Today I came face to face with the parts of reality that some folks can't cope with. I heard the viewpoint from both sides of the coin. After a short debate with one person obviously upset, and the others scratching their heads. The upset one left the group and I felt bad that she did.
The discussion was not earth shattering but one based on our local weather and looking at what could be in store for the future. To me, an admitted realist, it was merely a friendly sharing of proposed and existing conditions and how it may or may not affect those who reside in the area.
I should make note of the fact that we do live in an area where earthquakes, lack of rainfall, lack of snow pack on the mountains, volcanoes, and the like could have a negative affect on us. In all fairness, we have many things outside of the weather, for example the crime rate, that could have an impact on our day to day lives but we didn't expand the discussion to include that.
And some could say that we were looking at the negative, the downside of the situations that may or may not be a concern in the future. To some degree I agree. However, being one who often looks at reality as a stepping stone to choices I can make as I go through my day, it is information and details that could be useful. I gather many different types of data to use or discard and sometimes store away for future pondering. I don't plan to do it, to analyze, to dissect, it just happens.
I will not allow the discussion to upset me so much that I leave the group in tears. I am not that sensitive. Nor do I feel it is healthy to avoid any or all topics that are negative, staying within an imaginary bubble and never learning coping skills. If I did that, if I went around with my Pollyanna glasses and saw only the good each and every way, then how would I prepare myself to face the down side? The parts that get tough and are not so pretty to look at and upsetting to think about but are also necessary.
As an adult how would I cope with the ugly reality? I would have to go back and review some choices I made and possibly need to make in the near future. As adults, this is often thought about in past, present, and future scenarios.
The next best question is when do we begin? When do you begin to expand awareness? At what point in our childhood do we look at things as facts of life?
Unless there was a reason for the lack of coping and the stress this young woman was experiencing, if there was something like that we were not aware of it and didn't intentionally try to upset her. Having said that, this obvious distress was causing her to run from or hide from what the rest of us found to be commonplace.
Today's episode and conversation following has made me think that as a parent you are not doing your child any favors by shielding them from unpleasantness. It would be better parenting to let them learn about the good and the bad and then how to put that into their lives and how to respond in an appropriate manner.
We all have choices. In the real world it can be tough. We learn as we go. Coping is much more productive than tears and taking flight.
But then I am a realist. I learn as I go. I try to avoid falling into a pit of dread and losing the battle before it begins. Our minds can turn the smallest thing into an overwhelming obstacle. Or our minds can see reality. What part can be controlled and what part can't? And what to do with both.
