Alone is a word that means different things to different people. If I might go even farther, it means different things depending on where you are in age. It can be a frightening idea or a preferred one. It can be true or implied. For example, I have a friend who thinks she is alone even though she never is. She believes getting no attention, at least not the kind she wants, means she is alone. But when I say alone, I am referring to the absence of another person at any time and in any place that I occupy. To me that is a vast difference in the perceived meaning of the word alone. So who is right? We both are.
Alone, as in growing up an only child, is one form of being alone. While I am on the subject, let me also say that being an only child does not mean I am spoiled. On the contrary. I have had to do all the chores rather than share them with a sibling. If I did something wrong I had no one to share the blame with. It was all my fault. If I misbehaved and got caught, you guessed it, I got the punishment too. It meant I had no one to talk to, share ideas with, plan strategies with, no one to cry with or laugh with. Alone can be a not very pleasant place. On the flip side of that coin, it also meant I had no one to boss me around, I did what I wanted to do (within reason) because I still had parents telling me to "do as I say" the or else was implied but I knew it was there.
Alone can be a great teacher of independence. Alone can also leave you shy, unable to be around people comfortably. It can push you into learning how to manage on your own. It can also leave you so shackled by your own doubts that you never learn to stand on your own two feet.
What it all boils down to is this. Being alone, good or bad, we all still have choices. It's what we choose to do with them that matters. Do we stand alone forever? Or do we need someone to lean on forever? Most of you would probably say that the best answer would be to be a bit of both. Learn to take care of yourself, and learn how to be a companion to someone. Compromise and find the best, the strongest you that you can be. Then if you are alone and way past your prime, you still have the ability to care for yourself, to live alone and function in this crazy world we live in. Even though the years have not been easy and you have had to struggle, you can still be alone and manage most of it.
To make this a multi-chapter story, I would want to spend more time looking at what it means to be alone as a child, as a young adult, as middle aged, and as a senior citizen. I have lived through each of those and I can say for certain, the comparison of alone vs lonely is different for each chapter. What it meant to me to be alone is a far cry and maybe a stretch for some to see and understand let alone believe. My life is not like any other. I have had a very full life. I went from being alone and innocent to alone and a victim to alone and having no one to care about me. It has seemed empty at times but it never really was. I felt isolated at times because I was made to be that way. Then the strong and independent one who knew how to be alone came back and paid a visit. I got back on my feet and stood strong, and alone.
To go back to the myth, alone is many things to many people, but it for sure does not mean all children without siblings are spoiled.
If possible, I would enjoy sharing my other chapters with you. Let me know?
