We often say we got hurt. How could that person got so rude and insensitive that he/she hurt me?
The answer lied within the question only. We keep forgetting that we allowed them to get close and gave them power to get into our lives and shape our thresholds.
Our friend Ishaan was no less. Sweet natured person that he was, never knew that the same loved ones who were his confidante can ever turn foes and use all his vulnerability to hurt him.
A people pleaser he was for sure. Due to his childhood trauma, he always felt that by sharing more, he will make more friends and the emptiness in his world will feel less hurting. In his new office, he was trying to make new friends and was to some extent successful too. (That's what our friend thought in his mind). Since childhood he was compared with his siblings, cousins which made him live in his shell always.
But once he started working, his confidence of being someone started coming back in bits and pieces. He thought of reconnecting with his extended family with a pure thought that now may be, he is at their pace to be on friendly note. As things turned out, he started enjoying the feeling of being equal and loved every appreciation. But in the process, he shared things that were rather sensitive and painful for him. Initially it felt harmless but sooner he found out that he became the mocking rabbit of the group with whom the liberty of talking childhood jokes was normal. May be his cousins didn't mean anything harmful, but Ishaan got punched in stomach every time he was reminded of the stuff.
Then to top it up, in his office too he shared few of his insecurities so when things weren't that good with them, all his weaker points were used very conveniently by them.
Ishaan was furious, hurt and same time left wondering why he shared it. It was better to live in the shell only. The cozy comfort zone that he created was invaded badly and how. He again went into his shell where insecurity, under confidence and shyness were the walls for protection.
Was it only his fault or others?
Food for thought:
If we all will create boundaries forever, will we ever get the help or love we crave for? Or we will always be worried of invasion and hurt attack??
He learned it harder way that how much he suffered by not setting up the boundaries. Now, he gives his life info only if required. He knows now that personal life is person life for a reason.
So, always remember, setting up boundaries, limiting your person fears with everyone is very important to survive and live a healthy and beautiful life in this world.
