Generational trauma and US
I read somewhere that if you want to kill somebody then don’t use weapons to kill the body but kill the soul. The body will itself kill it. Same thing happening with people. Each generation gives in inheritance the trauma that they got from previous ones.
All parenting is wrong; I am right for me but wrong for you and so on. But guess what EVERYONE is “Right” Of course in their way.
I read in GITA when Arjun asked Krishna, “ if parents give birth to a child and raise them with all resources, care, love then why should they not keep expectations from them in return” Very valid point and fair too. But in answer to this what Lord Krishna said actually changed my way of thinking towards parenting.
Here was the answer, “Parth , if a person does something for their own child, is it out of love or business? to which Parth( Arjuna) replied in obvious tone, Of course Madhav(Krishna) out of love… Then again Krishna said, then if something is being done out of love then why this feeling of trade and business? Because in love there is no business, then why expectation of getting in return?”
This actually stuck a chord in me that that’s exactly the reason of feud, misunderstanding and issues between both parent and child. Both only expects but actually the care, protection, concern should be out of love and not just duty. Coz duty involves force, obligation but love just sets you free.
Why shouldn’t a child after growing up just takes care of parents lovingly and not out of obligation. Similarly, why not parents just love their children, adore them, guide them about right or wrong and let them live their own life. Instead of guilt raising them. Don’t sacrifice anything for them if you wish to push under guilt bus. No, don’t coz it raises a weak, underconfident child but the world needs emotionally grown youth who are happy and have no grudges while growing up.
Not getting into the eternal argument that which generation raised better kids, honestly the answer is ALL and NONE. Coz, they did whatever they thought is correct. Just let’s stop passing the grudges, pain of non-fulfilling your own dreams and don’t burden them with what you did. Just love them and guide them. Put felling of empathy and sense in them and then see how happy person the child will turn into.
Let’s stop this Generational trauma once and for all.
