Today is the day. A day born into darkness. In the gray skies, the barren trees. In the wet mist in the air, which clings to everything around it like a child clinging to its mother's hand.
In the shadows of a time she has never forgotten. Somewhere, in the recesses of her memory, it burns like lava.
She rose early this morning, despite not being allowed food or any liquid other than a few sips of water. A hot shower, then she packed her suitcase and went to the closet to fetch her winter gear.
She has to be at the hospital at seven o'clock sharp. She has about twenty minutes before she'll have to venture out into the stinging air. Waiting makes her nervous, so she tidies up the kitchen to distract herself.
A deep breath, and she steps into the garage and tosses her suitcase in the back seat of the car. She made arrangements with a friend to come and pick it up while she's in surgery. They can use it until she's cleared to drive again.
She switches on the radio for the short drive. Unfortunately, she's made it just in time for the weather forecast.
"Heavy snowfall expected for mid-afternoon through noon tomorrow. Light winds are also expected, and some areas may see freezing rain."
Radio off. She wishes now she'd gone with her gut and booked the surgery for spring. Too late now.
She's surprised at how empty the waiting area is. This leaves her feeling uneasy and nauseous, and she fights not to run back to the car. Before she can change her mind, the receptionist calls her over.
"Good morning," Annie's cheerfulness doesn't calm her nerves much, but they've known each other a long time, and she's glad to see her. "How're you doing? Crummy weather this morning, huh?"
"Sure is. I'd rather be in Hawaii!"
The booking in is over in a flash. She thanks Annie and heads for the elevator, and makes her way to the surgical floor. The moment the elevator doors open, she feels sick all over again.
Ether. God, she hates that smell! The use of it was banned in the United States when she was still a kid, but she still smells it every time she comes anywhere near this place. Or any other hospital, for that matter.
A sweet, sickening smell. The smell of fear...of surgeries botched...of death. Even now, the memory of this smell haunts her.
A pretty nurse with red hair and freckles greets her as she steps off the elevator. Her green eyes smile and shimmer like the water in Jamaica. She and two of her best friends went there last summer for a birthday celebration. What she wouldn't give to be back there now.
The usual questions are asked, to all of which the answer is no. "They're almost ready for you, but take a few minutes to relax. I'll be back to take you to the theatre when it's time."
"Thank you."
Without the nurse's chatter, the room is too quiet. Damn, these stupid gowns leave her freezing! She pulls her cell phone from her coat pocket and prays she'll have some kind of reception.
"Hey, munchkin. I'll be in the O.R. in a few minutes. The car is parked on level six-E. Be careful getting here. See you soon?"
Her nurse comes back. That was quick! "Are you ready, Sweetheart?"
She nods. "Yeah."
It's not until they've got her laid out on the table that she starts to cry. She's been through this a thousand times already, but every time, she's the scared little girl being scolded by the anesthesiologist.
"Only a baby would scream." He actually said that to her. "Only a baby...." She was only six years old, for pity's sake! He was standing over her, forcing an IV into her AFTER he was told not to. Her surgeon was late because of an emergency.
To this day, she can still hear his voice.
Her nurse wipes her eyes and takes her hand. "Don't worry, Honey. You're going to be fine. Everything will be fine. You just rest now, and it'll tall be over before you know it."
The room goes blurry, then dark.
The slaughter begins again.
