All my life, I always wanted to live in luxury and be my own boss. Downloading over 30 episodes of British royalty and romance into my brain, i always wandered in thoughts and fantasized about being a queen myself.
I sat down on the cushioned arm rest chair placed beside the garden at the backyard of our small house.
"To be royalty.... i heard the voice say....you must think like royalty, act like royalty and talk like royalty". I had let that sink and those words immediately cautioned me that i was sitting with shoulders slouched and head down.
I immediately sat into the chair, shoulders width apart, legs crossed, chest forward and palms together, my fingers falling down one after the other onto my chocolate dark skin, creating a reccuring rhythm.
Once again, I drifted off into wonder-land.
I wonder.....
The aura i immediately felt was breathtaking.
A thought crossed my mind, throwing me out of the chair almost immediately and i rushed into my room.
One dress after the other, went flying into the air, over my head and landing on the adjacent floor mat.
"Nah...Too short"
"Too plainn"
"Too dark"
I complained with every dress that went flying like a saucer.
"Urrrghhhh... I'll never find the right dress to make me look like the perfect queen" all the clothes I had were either torn or old.
But who said the clothe had to mine?
I turned to the pile of clothes on floor and immediately went digging.
The hem of a beige colored garment laid humbly beside the rigidy old clothing mama either got me from the lost and found or charity centres.
I gasped in air.... "finally...perfect!!!!
I flung the gown on my bed and scurried to the blue chest underneath a bunch of other stuff.
I picked out a gold jewelry to match the gold and white pattern on the beige garment and immediately went in to change.
Sitting back onto the ox blood embroided arm rest chair, shoulders back and head high, ready to look the world straight in the eye, I immediately wondered away into the 3rd dimension.
Lights! Camera! Action!
The bright lights flashed into my eyes from different angles as I struggled to strike as many poses as I could in a split second, whilst wearing a wide smile.
"Young lady! Young lady!"
An angry old lad hag kept crying out.
"Hey! Young lady! Young lady!"
I was too engrossed in my business to pay attention to the cry of the pained peasant.
A slap hit right across my face and I was drawn back to reality.
And the same way a queen was built, a queen was destroyed. I was back to the reality of being the daughter of an old pauper.
"What is wrong with you?" Mama scolded.
"You good for nothing child!! What have you done today except to lazy around and wear my expensive garment!!!"
"What stupid fantasy are you trying to bring to life?? Behaving like someone possessed with some sort of demon!!"
"You can never get what you didn't work for...""
....Mama went on ranting, the veins in her neck bulging out.
..."You see those useless and stupid things you've put in your mind. Die them! I've had enough of you nonsense. Go and take those off. Now!!!!!"
She landed, spitting on my face. Her old voice had become crooked and strained. It took all the strength she had left to yell at me.
I ran hurriedly into the house, holding back the tears that had watered my eyes from falling down.
I took the garment and jewelry off and tucked myself into a little corner in the room and cried my hearts out.
Mama's words pierced into my heart.
And I was reminded that no matter how much a butterfly dreams, it can never be an Eagle.
I cradled into my nest, into my shell and into my hole.
I tried to hold back but I ended up killing all the dreams I ever had. Dreams that gave me a ray of hope. I was empty and it became dark.
