Inspired by the song One Heart Two Homes by Rachael Nemiroff
The cool sea breeze hit Jeremiah’s face as he escaped the mansion of a house. Flashing lights and blaring music tried to follow, but soon faded into the warm night as he wandered down the property. Who knew graduation would be so chaotic. He could make out only a few faint stars in the darkened sky, their shine masked by the glow of the full moon. The coastal country estate he somehow found himself invited to had no visible neighbours, making it the perfect place to burst the guests’ eardrums.
A coral path led him down to the beach, wafts of salt and seaweed drifting through the air. Cicadas’ song replaced any remnants of electric sounds, while silhouettes of sheoaks, spinifex and a wooden gazebo appeared against the glimmering sea. This was Jeremiah’s preferred party, away from the noises that consumed his daily life and instead, just being in creation.
Two deck chairs sat empty under the gazebo, one of which Jeremiah guiltlessly claimed. Stretching back, he closed his eyes, letting the gentle lap of waves soaking into the sand fill his ears. His mind wandered, the rise and fall of his chest slowing as he drifted into scattered thoughts.
After four years of study, life felt like it had hit a dead end. No job was lined up, but that didn’t stop the debts. He should be moving out of home, for goodness’ sake. Twenty-three years in the same town, yet an entire world was out there, ready for him to explore. But what should be the first step to take? What dream was begging him to be chased? Only God could know.
“How hopeless,” he muttered.
The deck creaked.
Jeremiah flung his eyes open, sat up, and spun around. His heart hammered in his chest when he found the spare deck chair now occupied by a silhouette. The silhouette jumped.
“Who’s there?” he demanded.
“I’m sorry!” a feminine voice squeaked back. “I didn’t see you.” Jeremiah saw the figure jump up, appearing all flustered and about to bolt for the beach, but something possessed him as he grabbed her wrist to stop her.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I wouldn’t mind the company.” Her arm tensed in his grip as she hesitated, weighing whether to listen to the stranger or disappear back into the night. Slowly, she gave in to the former. His grip slipped as she sat down, the lap of waves and cicadas filling their silence. Jeremiah fiddled with his hands as he kept stealing glances at the girl. Although he couldn’t make out her features clearly, her voice was light and clear, and a wave of curls seemed to cascade down to her shoulders.
“I’m Jeremiah.” He swallowed. A pause. “Not a fan of the party either?” He heard her shift in her seat.
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t need to be,” she whispered. Strange. Couldn’t she leave? The party was open invite.
“Were you part of organising, or don’t have a lift to go, or…?”
“It’s my dad’s house.” Her voice was flat. Jeremiah saw her shadow turn towards him. “Wait, you didn’t recognise me?” He shook his head.
“I’m here as a friend of a friend of Mark— I thought this was his place?”
“He’s my older brother.”
“Ah, I see.”
A wave crashed onto the shore. The girl brought her knees up to her chest, hugging her legs and resting her head on top. It was odd that she expected him to know her, like some celebrity. Had Jeremiah missed something before rocking up to the crowded house of university graduates? So many questions swirled in his head, but it seemed she had come down to the beach for silence. So, in silence they sat.
“Do you ever feel scared?” she asked suddenly. Jeremiah frowned, but she couldn’t see his face, so she continued. “I feel scared all the time. Scared I’ll never become the person I’m meant to be.”
That hit to the heart. Only moments ago, Jeremiah had been wondering about his future career, with nothing firm to hold onto.
“Who do you think you’re meant to be?” He wanted to ask more, to know more, but he was getting nervous about wading into these delicate waters.
She sighed, lifting her head to the stars. “Someone who isn’t fake, like all the people back there. Someone who isn’t dragged between states or thrown around courtrooms for the sake of legal obligation or monetary benefits.” She let out a curt laugh. Half-hearted and empty. Then she whispered under her breath, so soft he had to strain to hear her say, “Someone who can be loved.”
Jeremiah’s mind went numb. What did his woes about work, or the non-existence of it, matter now? Here was a girl, hurting much deeper than a job that can be found later. He wanted to jump right in and know the depth of the pain and longings in her heart. No matter how frigid the waters.
She stood up.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” she said, flustered. “You’ve been so quiet, like you’re not even there. I guess I’ve just become so desperate I needed to—”
“Hey, it’s okay.” He wanted to grab her hands into his own and hold them, to keep them warm; to comfort her. But it took every muscle in his body to restrain that previous reflex. He couldn’t lose her now. The pinch in his chest assured him that would be the worst that could happen.
“Could we go for a walk?” she asked with tenderness in her voice.
“Of course,” Jeremiah smiled into the dark, “but would you mind first telling me your name?”
“Oh right, it’s Eloise,” she chuckled. “And now I suppose we’ll have to call each other friends, right, Jeremiah?” His pulse fluttered.
“Is that how it goes?” he grinned, standing up and leading Eloise down onto the sandy, moonlit beach. They walked in silence, side by side, but with a gap wide enough to avoid ‘accidental’ touches. He kept glancing towards her, only to find her head down, watching her step or following the waterline. Sometimes she stopped to look out over the sea, strands of dark hair blowing out of place. Jeremiah’s fingers itched to tuck the loose strands behind her ear, but then she’d turn her head and start walking slightly ahead.
“We used to have a dog,” she stated, out of the blue. Jeremiah stepped a little closer to make sure he didn’t miss a word. “Technically, Mum still has him, because Dad actually hates dogs.” He nodded, unsure of where the conversation was going. “We all lived in this house by the beach before the divorce. Everyone said I was living the picture of a perfect family: A father and mother, two kids—a son and a daughter— living in a fancy house on the beach with a dog. High-paying jobs. Private school. I was told I had it all, that I had my life laid out before me, that I was so, so lucky.”
Eloise hesitated, glancing over at Jeremiah, who nodded encouragingly for her to go on.
She sighed. “But the house was empty. Dad and Mum were out at work most of the time. Mark and I spent more time at school and at ‘homework club’ than at home. I thought being surrounded by people at school who paid attention to me was enough. But all they cared about was our parents’ money. Even now, Mark leverages off Dad’s place for his own benefit, but I lived between the two of our parents, despite Mum being on the opposite side of the country.” She paused. “It was like my parents loved each other, then one day they didn’t.” A small laugh escaped her lips, but despite the darkness, he knew it never reached her eyes. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. Perhaps because I’ll never see you again after bragging so disgustingly.”
“Eloise…” Jeremiah felt her flinch under his touch as he gently placed his hand over hers. But when their eyes met, the tension faded. “Thank you for sharing about your life. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.” He saw her lips tremble as his thumbs moved slowly over her cold fingers. “Although I can’t say I completely get how you feel, I’ll be keeping you in my prayers, and I hope you don’t mean it when you say I’ll never see you again.” He took a step closer, so close her soft hair brushed his cheek. “I think that would hurt the most.”
Her breath was shaky. A little dampness seeped through his shirt.
“Do you mean that?” Her words were so quiet he would have missed them if she'd spoken from farther away. “Do you think you could… could you... really love—”
“Only the Lord can give you the love you are looking for,” he gently cut her off. “But I will be here for when you find it. So that when you do, you can say, ‘the way you love me, God, it’s different.’”
Then she broke down and wept in his arms.
On that sandy seashore, under the stars of a summer night…
That was all she needed to hear.
