Inspired by the song Leave Like That by SYML
A bump in the road jolted me awake. The afternoon sun baked my face through the back window. Blinking away the sleep, I stared at the hills and trees rushing past as we drove along the empty country road in an orange-coloured kombi—objectively, the ugliest vehicle I’d ever seen come up my driveway.
“Dean was going to sell the beauty,” Camryn told me on one of our jogs a week ago. “I thought, what a waste! I’ll take it on a well-needed getaway. Then he got jealous of the idea.” She rolled her eyes. “Brothers.” I chuckled, keeping my eyes focused ahead. “Anyways, I’ve already gotten our three days of leave approved for next week, so—”
“What?!” I stopped dead in my tracks. “Our leave?”
“Of course. How else would I get you to come? You’re always buried in work, work, work. You need a break, Mari.” I stared at her in disbelief, my chest heaving as I tried to catch my breath.
“So, what I’m hearing is, I have no choice in the matter.”
“Nope! I’ve already decided the campsite—”
“Camping?” This couldn’t get any worse.
Yet there I was, in the back of an orange kombi with Camryn and her older brother Dean, heading to some unknown campsite in the bush.
Dean pulled up in a dirt car park. There were no other vehicles. Pine trees cast their wavering shadows over a small path leading into the thicket.
“We’ll be sleeping in the kombi, right?” I asked hesitantly as we hopped out.
“That’ll ruin half the fun,” Dean replied with a grin, then pulled out a tent and a swag. “We’re going to have the full camping experience.” I bit my bottom lip. Of course we were.
I followed the two down the trail, all of us loaded like pack horses. Camryn was stubborn, insisting we could make the trip down to the site in one go by splitting everything between the three of us. I knew no better and followed suit. My back hated me for it by the time we got to the grounds, but as I dropped our gear onto the dirt floor, I forgot I was holding a grudge.
“It’s spectacular, isn’t it?” Camryn nudged my arm. I nodded, unable to put it into words. The camping site was a clear glade dotted with little white flowers in the undergrowth. The pine trees no longer looked intimidating; the afternoon sun streamed through their needle-covered branches, making the forest inviting. The air smelt fresh and woody. Butterflies and swallows darted in and out from among the trees. As I walked, the ground was soft and soundless beneath my feet. The glade opened onto a wide, flowing river, sparkling in the golden sunlight, with rocky granite outcrops on the other side. It was beautiful.
“Wow,” I breathed. “I’d suck up camping to come back here.”
“I’m glad you like it, Mari.” I jumped and turned at Dean’s voice behind me. He quickly looked away, then added, “Uh, but the tent isn’t going to set itself up.” I gave him an inquisitive look as he turned back toward the campsite, but I don’t think he noticed. I found his string of remarks odd, but I shrugged it off and followed him.
I relaxed a little as we all put up the tent, the daunting thoughts of camping in the open forest slowly fading away. Camryn and I would share the tent. Dean took the swag. We collected wood to make a fire by evening, and Camryn surprised me with her cooking skills over the flames.
“You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” I remarked.
She shrugged. “Our family would take us camping often when we were kids, but we haven’t done much of it lately.”
“Do you miss it?”
“Yeah, but it was more… the time we could all spend together, carefree and having fun, that I miss the most.” Camryn gave a small smile lit by the flickering firelight. “I thought you might’ve needed that, too.” To be carefree and have some fun. I looked over to Dean. He seemed to have spaced out, staring at the pine needles on the floor.
I’d known Camryn for the two years I’d worked at the company. She helped me learn the ropes, then became more than a colleague—a friend. Her brother, I knew less. I’d spoken to him a few times, but only when Camryn was around. He was also good-looking, which already made it harder to talk to him properly. We hadn’t had much one-on-one conversation on the trip so far, and that suited me just fine.
“I’m gonna hit the hay,” Dean suddenly announced, standing up.
“What about the s’mores?” Camryn asked, reaching for his arm with a hint of disappointment.
“You girls can make them together. I’m quite tired from the driving. I’ll see you in the morning.” We watched as he wandered back up to where we pitched the tent and swag.
“Is everything okay with him?” I asked.
“I don’t think so, but I don’t know what’s wrong.” I pitied Camryn. She sounded genuinely worried for her brother. “Has he spoken much to you at all? I saw he lingered around you when we were collecting the firewood.”
That took me by surprise.
“I didn’t really notice,” I admitted. “I was more focused on not being eaten by ants.”
She laughed. “I might call it a night, too, then. Unless you wanted to stay up and talk more?”
I shook my head. “I think I’d like enough rest to wake up for a morning swim. The river looked so inviting.” Camryn raised her eyebrows. “Look, I might not like camping, but I love morning swims!”
“Okay, okay!” she said, waving me off with a grin.
I didn’t realise how quickly I’d fall asleep. Before I knew it, dawn light pressed through our tent walls. I heard Camryn stirring next to me. She rolled over but remained asleep. As quietly as I could, I slipped out.
The morning air was still cool from the night. I looked up to see pockets of pink sky above us through the trees. The birds sang as the glade awakened. I strolled down to the river, and my heart skipped a beat when I noticed another figure and quickly recognised the silhouette.
“Early riser, too?” I asked softly as I walked up to Dean. He nodded as I sat down on a rock beside him. The sun began to peek over the granite hills to our right, bathing us and the river in its warmth.
“It feels strange coming back here after so many years, under different circumstances,” he said, staring blankly at the rushing water.
“Was this one of the camping spots you’d come to with your family?”
He nodded. “It was Camryn’s and my favourite. We’d swim and fish in the river all day, then lay on these rocks to dry off in the sun. Dad would show us how to make a fire without matches, to cook and make s’mores. Mum would tell us about the different birds we could spot; how to catch frogs and what other critters we could find.” I noticed a nostalgic smile creep onto his lips. “It was the happiest they’d be all year.” He glanced over to me. I swallowed as I watched his eyes seem to dart over my face. Then he looked away again, picking up a stone to fiddle with.
“There seems to be something on your mind,” I prodded gently, unsure of how much I should pry. This conversation was already more open than our previous ones. I tried to read his expression, but different emotions came and went as quickly as the last.
He eventually ignored the question and said, “Do you want to go for a swim? Mind you, the river is a little cold.” I smiled, but with pity. What else could I do?
“I’d love to,” I replied. “A little cold water never hurt anyone.”
He chuckled. “As long as the sun’s out to dry afterwards.”
We walked back up to the tent. Camryn had just come out and said she’d join us, although she was still half asleep as we changed into swimmers.
I stood on the edge of one of the large rocks. I’d dipped my toes in at the bank before clambering up. Cold was an understatement. My friend insisted the best way in was to jump in, no looking back.
“Dean, you go first!” she giggled nervously next to me. I saw past her, his eyes meeting mine.
Together? He seemed to be asking. I gave a little nod.
“Three, two, one—”
I leapt off and was flying before frigid water encased me. My limbs tensed with shock as I scrambled up to the surface for air.
“Oh my gosh, it’s freezing!” I spluttered. Dean laughed, floating on his back, unfazed.
“At least you jumped in.” He gestured back to the rock we jumped off. “Somebody’s still chicken.” I looked up to see Camryn still up there.
“Hey! I didn’t realise we were all going together!” she squealed, then jumped in between us.
We had to keep swimming, otherwise I swear our limbs would have frozen stiff. But I had no regrets as the morning sun rose higher into the clear blue sky, warming us as we climbed out and lay like lizards on the large granite rocks.
Camryn lay on her belly, tanning next to me. Her brother sat on a rock a little farther down, staring blankly out over the river again. I grabbed my sun shirt, threw it over my bathers, and carefully stepped around Camryn.
“Hey, mind if I join you?” Dean turned his head towards me as I pulled an awkward smile, trying to gauge what he was thinking. He shook his head, and his lips twitched upwards, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Then he turned back towards the river. I sat down, hugging my legs, then rested my head on my knees. The river flowing below, the rustling trees, and the birdsong above filled the space between us. I noticed the mid-morning sun making the tips of Dean’s honey-brown hair glow, and his handsomely sharp features slowly etching themselves into my mind—stop it! I told myself, trying to shake the thoughts out of my head. But even with my eyes closed, I couldn’t shake him out; so lonely, so distant, so beautiful…
“Mari?”
“Yes?!” I jumped.
He chuckled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you.” Heat rose in my cheeks as I looked away.
“I was lost in thought,” I mumbled. I peeked over and saw warmth return to his eyes. Dean opened his mouth as if to tell me something, then closed it again without a sound. “Is everything okay?” I asked. “Is it the family memories or work or…?”
“I’m moving away,” he said flatly.
“What?” I exclaimed.
“You seem quite shocked.”
“Of course! That was pretty out of the blue.”
“But it’s not like it affects you.” I felt my stomach drop. But he wasn’t wrong. There was nothing between us. I barely knew the guy. Why was I feeling an aching pain in my chest?
“Uh, well, it…” I tried to recover. “It would affect Camryn, and she’s my friend.”
“Exactly.” Dean looked away, deep lines of worry on his face. “It will affect Camryn. And our family.”
“Do you have to move? All trip, you’ve seemed troubled by it.”
“I have to,” he said with confidence. “It’s the contract of a lifetime! Jobs like this one don’t come by often.”
I swallowed uncomfortably. “Where are you moving to?”
“The States.”
“The U.S.A.!? That’s the other side of the world!”
“I know, I know,” Dean said with pain in his voice as he rubbed his face. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to comfort him, put my hand on his back, but hesitated, unsure whether that’d violate some unspoken rule. In the end, he took a deep breath before looking over at me. “But…I’m still going to do this, Mari. I’m just figuring out how.”
How to break the news. I knew what he meant.
I glanced over at Camryn, still lying in the sun. If she’d heard anything, she gave no indication.
“Why are you telling me this?” I finally asked.
“Well, you were pestering me for a start.”
I blinked, taken aback. “Oh, okay. I apologise.” I stood to leave, a little hurt, but Dean’s sudden desperate expression made me stop.
“Mari…” he began, standing up beside me. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just…”
“Yeah?”
He hesitated before shaking his head. “I thought maybe you would understand. Camryn is always talking about you and your approach to work.”
I stared back at him, speechless. I couldn’t decide whether to be offended or admit he was right.
He took a step closer. “You seem like a reasonable woman. Please don’t tell my sister. Not yet. I will find the right time.”
“Okay,” I feebly replied, fixated on his sorrowful eyes. “I’ll trust whatever you have planned.”
Dean nodded slowly; a sad smile crept onto his face.
“Mari,” he whispered, his gaze dropping from my face. “I hope someone’s told you how beautiful you are.”
I stumbled at his words, unable to reply and suppress the rising beating in my chest. But before I could say anything, Camryn stirred awake behind me. I turned from her brother and quickly dashed back over the rocks to join her. I couldn’t process the jarring mix of emotions this man, practically a stranger, was stirring up in me.
For the rest of the trip, no one mentioned Dean’s planned departure. There was no contempt or tension between the siblings. I could relax. He had it under control.
Then, a week later, once the vacation had fizzled and we were back at work, Camryn came to me crying. She told me how her brother had left the country with only a text that morning. I felt the colour draining from my face.
No hugs. No goodbye. He’d left, just like that.
“How could he, Mari?” Camryn wept. “I never knew that he was planning to leave! I thought he liked living here close to our family. He had a good job and I… I thought after the trip that he’d taken a liking to you.” She looked up at me with her teary eyes. “How could that fool be so selfish!” My heart sank again that afternoon when I checked my letterbox to see a small, folded note inside.
Mari, it was a pleasure getting to know you through our small interactions, through my sister, and on the camping trip. I know you’re probably disappointed with me, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it any other way. ~D.
“Dean… how could you…” My voice broke. Tears ran silently down my cheeks. Heartache, anger, longing… it was all there, fighting for my attention. But it was no use.
He was gone. And he wasn’t coming back.
That’s how that man broke our hearts, and I was left by someone I thought I could love…
But I never got the chance.
