Nathan was the very epitome of charisma, his laugh echoing around the classroom, easily filling the gaps and lighting up even the most dismal corners. But among all the chattering, there was one girl who never seemed to notice him; Emily. She was a quiet presence, always slumped over her books, never saying a word. She was hardly noticed by the others, but Nathan could not help feeling that there was something deep lying behind her silent eyes, something beyond the vacancy she presented. Nathan, being the social butterfly that he is, was somehow attracted to her. He attempted to talk to her initially, smiling at her briefly and making offhand remarks, but she remained aloof; her answers clipped, her gaze always deflecting his. He couldn't truly grasp it the attraction he felt towards her. What was there about her that made him wish to breach her defenses?
But Nathan did not give up. There was something in the way she moved, something delicate yet stubborn. He continued to come back, day after day, trying to erode her defenses, until one day, after weeks of persistent politeness, Emily surprised him. She agreed to go on a hike through the surrounding forest with him. Nathan spoke all through as they ambled through the forest, and his laughter became a sound all over the forest, as irresistible and catchy. Emily didn't smile, though, but her gaze grew just soft enough to weaken slightly its initial rigidity, as that which protected it, ever so gradually began to melt. For the first time ever, Emily was being so vulnerable to another human being. And Nathan recognized this immediately; he must do what he could to ensure he remained with her. He did not understand why, but he couldn't walk away. Weeks became days, and Nathan was in a routine with Emily. They spent hours and hours together; quiet ones, loud ones, messy ones; but together. It was if she was coming awake from a dream, and with each move they made, they grew closer and closer. They travelled, laughed, talked, and at times, just sat silently, as if the world did not exist.
One evening, following a visit to the mountains, they slept side by side under starlight. Nathan had never experienced this before. He barely managed to keep his eyes off Emily. The moonlight touched her skin, leaving an almost ethereal glow on her. She was all he had ever dreamed of. But looking at her, he could not help but feel something was amiss. A lingering sadness in her eyes, an ocean of pain that she refused to let anyone view. The following day, while sitting at the edge of the river, Emily turned to him. Her voice shook as she spoke, and Nathan's heart pounded in expectation. "Nathan, I?I have something to tell you", she whispered, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her jacket. She breathed in deeply. "I have an illness known as Quietus Syndrome. It's similar to schizophrenia, but. it's different. Every touch, every sight, every sound; everything is wrong, as if the world is working against me. And sometimes. sometimes I wish to leave it all behind.
Nathan's heart broke as the reality of her words set in. He was speechless. He had not seen this coming. He had never been so powerless in his entire life. But he vowed to her, with all the honesty at his command, that he would stay; that he would not abandon her, under any circumstances. The subsequent weeks were a haze of continuous research and emotional burnout. Nathan dedicated himself to caring for Emily, attempting to combat the darkness that she could not escape. Nathan was her rock, her anchor in a tempest she was unable to bear alone. And although Emily became quieter, she started to smile more, sometimes even laugh, when Nathan told her silly jokes. For some time, there seemed to be a glimmer of hope. But then, the unthinkable occurred.
It was a still afternoon. Nathan and Emily were walking over a bridge hand in hand. For one second, the world stopped. Nathan had not experienced peace for months. Emily was better now, or at least he believed. But suddenly and without notice, she yanked her hand away from his and looked out into the chasm below. "Emily!" Nathan cried out, grabbing for her, but too late. Her empty eyes locked into his, devoid of all emotion, before she stepped away into the nothingness. Time froze as Nathan moved forward, his heart racing in fright. But his legs failed him, and he was after her in the blink of an eye. His love for her, a power greater than sense, greater than fear, propelled him to the precipice. He leaped, trying to catch up to her, to grab her. As they plummeted together, the sky melted into a blur of wind and memory; and in that suspended moment between breath and silence, Nathan felt something foreign flood his chest; a serenity born not of joy, but surrender.
But then? she vanished.
Emily dissipated like fog under morning light; not falling, but fading; delicately, tragically; into the ether. Unravelling in the air like smoke from a forgotten fire; a breath exhaled by the universe. One moment, she was warmth in his palm; the next, she was stardust swallowed by the wind. Nathan reached for her; a desperate hand clawing through nothing; and as her absence filled his lungs, the roar of the world muted his scream. That's when the truth struck; not like thunder, but like a quiet funeral bell ringing in the marrow of his bones.
Emily had never existed.
She was a fragile constellation Nathan had stitched together in the dark sky of his mind; a ghost made of loneliness and longing; of every word he never spoke; every touch he never felt. She was the echo of the boy he used to be; pretending someone could rescue him from the storm inside.
He was never saving her. She was not someone he lost;
she was someone he created to survive.
It had always; always been himself he was chasing through the dark.
And still he fell.
The air around him grew colder; not from altitude but from realization. The illusion had shattered; and in its place was only Nathan, alone in the silence, holding nothing but the weight of the truth. The voices; the shadows; the smiles she wore, every moment had been a lullaby sung by madness.
Emily had been the requiem of his final dream.
And as the river opened its arms below; ink-black and endless; Nathan closed his eyes. He felt the water rise to meet him like an old friend; cold, yes, but kind. He did not resist. He did not cry. He loosened his grip on the figments; the fantasies; the flame that had long ago burned him hollow.
And in that surrender;
in that long, quiet exhale beneath the stars;
he found it at last; a hush within the storm.
Not salvation;
not redemption;
but stillness.
A silence softer than sorrow; a peace more honest than hope.
For in the end, even the brightest flame;
no matter how wild, how warm;
must surrender to the dark that birthed it.
