No one ever visited Natalie. Ever since her husband, Richard, died, she hasn’t had much human interaction in over two years. It was just because working with her was no easy task.
She argued about everything whenever she was with someone. She argued when someone came to help her with something, and even when no one came to help her at all. Some would say that her terrible attitude towards people came from years of a terrible relationship, and if you asked her, Natalie would agree.
It wasn’t until a few months ago when she came to visit. Natalie remembered the hatred raging through her as she opened the front door, her eyes landing on the slightly younger woman. The woman wore her hair in a messy bun, her brown hair spraying out in all directions. Even as an adult, she still couldn’t manage to look somewhat decent. Natalie stood at the doorway longer than expected, trying to quickly debate whether or not she should enter – the woman didn’t even acknowledge that she was at the door! Natalie shouldn’t have been surprised though, it’s not the first time her sister had been a pain. Just saying the word ‘sister’ made her heart twist in her chest. She just stood there, staring out at nothing, quiet; and it made Natalie furious.
“What are you doing here?” Natalie finally broke the silence.
Suddenly, her sister looked towards her and a lopsided grin appeared on her face, “Oh Natalie, I’m here to visit my sister, silly.”
Natalie would be lying if she said she hadn’t purposefully avoided her sister for the past thirty years. The last time she saw her, actually, was when she married Richard. It was a beautiful wedding, and Natalie was forced to have her as one of her bridesmaids. It wasn’t until the day before the wedding that she told Natalie not to marry him, as if the thought of Natalie marrying her true love left her sister’s blood boiling.
“Of course I’m going to marry him. Why do you always have to ruin everything? Can’t you just be happy for me for once in your life? Stop being so jealous all the time.”
Even after the wedding, when she had to leave early because something was just more important than her own sister getting married.
And they had a wonderful life together up until that point. They had three children, who are now successful business co-owners. Though, it was quite a shame when the youngest moved out the year he died, and she hasn’t seen neither of her children since. Of course they are just busy with their own lives, Natalie had to convince herself.
Natalie never told her husband or kids about her sister. She was supposed to be out of her life. And now here she was, sitting in front of her in her own living room.
The question now running through Natalie’s mind was how did she find her? And maybe an even better question is why come now all of a sudden? Natalie guessed that if she had called earlier, she would have rejected any meeting whatsoever. Still, it’s so typical of her sister to just show up unannounced.
“Oh, Natalie,” she spoke as if she suddenly remembered Natalie was there, “I saw this magical sunrise this morning before I left home.”
A sunrise? Natalie thought, after all these years, that’s what she has to say?
Of course she would never apologise for always getting in the way of Natalie’s life when they were younger. Like the time when it was her sixteenth birthday, and all her friends were there, and she came downstairs to find that her sister had started the party without her! A few of her friends were already dancing and laughing, all without her. She pulled her sister to the side while she was handing out drinks and couldn’t believe that she started the party like it was her party.
“You had no right to do this. This day isn’t even about you! These are my friends and my party; you aren’t even invited!”
She was always jealous of Natalie, ever since they were kids. Whenever Natalie wanted something, she just had to have it too. When it came to her friends, she always had to be involved. She was there through every sleepover, party, and social gathering. When they went to the movies or the mall or even the park, she had to go with them. Natalie couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t hang out with her own friends, which constantly lead to several arguments that their parents eventually learned to tune out.
“These are my friends. Why can’t you just make your own friends and leave mine alone? Nobody wants you here.”
There was even that one time when Natalie’s friends were over, and they were having a great time until Natalie had to leave to go to the bathroom. She was gone for five minutes tops, and when she came back, she was there and talking to them like they were suddenly her friends. To make matters worse, they told Natalie that they had to go because they suddenly became terribly busy, only to be spotted at the mall later that day without her.
"Are you telling me that you came all this way from across town to tell me that you saw a sunrise?"
"Oh Natalie, heavens no! I came here to tell you I saw a magical sunrise."
What does that even mean!?
“It was one of the sunrises you see that not only looks beautiful with the oranges and pinks, but also gives you that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. Oh, you should’ve seen it Natalie. It was so magical.”
They sat in silence for a moment before she spoke up again.
“So, tell me about you. How’s your family now that Richard is gone?”
“I’m not sure. My girls have been busy recently, so I don’t see much of them.”
“Oh. I’m sorry to hear. Must’ve been hard to lose the man you loved and not have the support you needed.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Natalie forced a smile. “We did have a wonderful life together but… At the funeral I found out he had been cheating on me.”
“Oh dear, what happened?”
“Well, believe it or not, someone came up to me, to wish their condolences, but then she called me Lucy.”
It was so embarrassing for Natalie to think that other people knew about his affairs except her. How many girls had he slept with? How many of those girls are here right now?
Sometimes Natalie wonders what her life would’ve been like if she had married her first love, Drew Clarke. They had dated the four years of high school. He was always nice to her, always made her feel special – way more than Richard ever did – but like everything else, she had to ruin it. It was the first time he came by the house (for this very reason) and it was also prom night. He had gotten along with their parents but while Natalie was finishing up her look, her sister punched him for no reason and gave him a black eye. He left saying that her sister was crazy and didn’t want anything to do with her ever again. It was the last time she ever saw him.
“You always do this! Always act like you’re this innocent little girl but I see you, I see what you do. After everything I’ve done for you, you never once thanked me. I let you hang out with my friends, I let you borrow my clothes, I let you into my life and all for what?”
“Natalie, let me explain.”
“No, you don’t get to talk to me. You never respect me or my friends. I’m the older sister. Not you, me! I have the final say.”
When she walked off after throwing her corsage on the floor, she mumbled to herself, “You’ll be sorry once I’m gone.”
That day still burned in the back of both their minds. It was the longest fight that they had. When Natalie graduated, she left the town for an early admission into college where she met Richard. That was the last time they spoke until the day of the wedding.
“Oh, I’m so sorry Natalie.”
“Sorry for what? For ruining my life or for coming here to rub my failures in my face?”
“What do you mean? I wonder never-”
“You know, this is so typical of you to come here after all these years and act like you’ve done nothing wrong.”
“Natalie please, I’ve had a rough week. I don’t want to fight.”
“Yeah well I’ve had a rough week too. I’m behind on the mortgage because my job is terrible, and my boss hates me. So don’t try me. I don’t need this right now.”
“I came here to make amends. I know you hate me, but you really shouldn’t, because one day I’m not going to be here.”
“Oh stop exaggerating.”
“Maybe I should just go. This was a mistake.”
Natalie hated to admit it, but she didn’t want her to leave just yet. Yeah, they had many fights and haven’t spoken in years, but if she had to be honest, she missed having people in the house. She missed her family, and she was a part of that family whether she liked it or not. Maybe it was time to introduce her to the kids. What would they say? Would they be mad that she kept it a secret for so long? She couldn’t stop herself from apologising and inviting her over again. It’s been years – water under the bridge. Maybe it was time to finally be adults about this.
The visits practically all started the same, with this magical sunrise Natalie just had to see. Everyday she described more and more of the scenery, the way the colours blended perfectly in the sky, the smell of the ocean as it crashed against the shore. She admitted that she would sometimes walk down the beach just to feel the sand on her feet.
It didn’t occur to Natalie at the time just how much she craved that feeling that her sister had. That feeling of pure bliss and happiness.
“Please, Natalie. Come by the city some time. Maybe we can watch the sunrise together.”
Natalie almost didn’t notice when she didn’t come the next day, or the day after. But then, her curiosity got the best of her and she left home late one afternoon to go to the city. She realised just how badly she needed to witness this magic. She spent the night at a motel near where her sister lived and early the next morning, she set out to find her.
When she got there, however, there was no ocean. There was no beach house. When the hospital came into view, Natalie felt a sickening feeling in her chest. She had been lied to. The whole thing about the sunrise was all a lie. But Natalie couldn’t understand this, why would her sister lie to her about such a thing? Was this her way of getting back at her?
She stood there, speechless, and for a moment anger seeped through her.
“Excuse me, are you Miss Natalie?”
Natalie looked towards the nurse walking towards her. She was very petite in her green scrubs and holding a letter. Natalie realised she hadn’t responded yet and nodded, which resulted in a small smile.
“Your sister said that you’d be here. I’ve been waiting for you.”
“I don’t, understand. Where is my sister?”
“I’m sorry, but she passed away a few days back.”
What? How did this happen? Why didn’t she say anything? They spent weeks together and she never once mentioned that she was staying at the hospital. She lied about everything.
“Here,” the nurse handed her a letter, “She told me to give this to you.”
Her hands shook as she read the letter:
Dear Natalie,
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry we haven't been in touch over these years. You see, after the wedding, I was diagnosed with cancer. I had to move into the city so I could be closer to the hospital. I never had time to visit because I had to work three jobs because I couldn't get insurance to cover the bills.
I'm sorry about your husband. I heard he died a few years back. That's how I found out where you were living. I'm also sorry about our argument at the wedding. It was just that I didn't want you to marry him because he was sleeping with your maid of honour the whole time you were engaged. I guess if I weren’t always so annoying you would have listened to me.
But I couldn't help that I was always annoying. You see I was never able to make friends because I was bullied, and nobody wanted to be seen with me. So, whenever your friends came over it was nice to finally be around people, even though I never liked your friends because they always talked about you behind your back. Speaking of which, I'm sorry about ruining your 16th birthday, it was just that you were taking so long to get ready that your friends were going to leave to go to a better party that was happening down the block. So, I started it without you so they wouldn't leave. I guess maybe if I were a better sister you wouldn't have gotten mad at me all the time, like when I wanted to look like you because I wanted to be more like you. You were always so pretty that guys were basically drooling over you. I just wanted to feel wanted too. Also I'm sorry about your prom night, but when Drew tried to kiss me while you were getting ready, I had to punch him. I'm glad it didn't work out between you two.
The reason why I'm writing this is because my cancer is back, and I found out that I'm going to die. I wanted nothing more than to see you again, but the cancer took away my eyesight. That's why I never acknowledged you when you open the door – because I've gone blind. I don't know how much longer I have but I knew I wanted to spend my last few weeks with you.
I love you.
Sincerely,
Emily.