Nervously, she opened the door to the abandoned house. The musty smell of nearly two decades worth of dust and decay immediately washed over her. Emily hasn't stepped foot in this house since her mom passed away. To the best of her knowledge, no one has. She honestly was surprised that it was still standing. If it wasn't for the fact that the nearest neighbor was over a mile away, the home would have been condemned a long time ago, but since Uncle James was still willing to pay any fees to the city, they were content to leave well enough alone, or at least Emily supposed. She stood in front of the entrance while she debated to herself if it was even safe to step in. The house was old, even when she was a little girl growing up in it. Now it was old and neglected. The house was built by her great something grandfather sometime before the Civil War. Was it 1825? Maybe 1835? She couldn't exactly remember, nor did she care. Right now all she was thinking about was if she took that first step in, would the floor fall out from under her.
It wasn't that the house was full of a bunch of little bad memories, just one really big bad memory. That awful fight she had with her mother, Janet, before leaving for college. Emily's mother was worried that she was making a mistake following her boyfriend to California. Sure they had only been dating for a few months, but they had everything planned out. Besides, West Virginia was too small for their ambitions anyway. But as teenagers usually were, Emily was wrong. Right before Christmas break, Emily suddenly found herself single, and across the country with no one. And somehow that still wasn't the worst part of that day.
Emily tried to call her mother to apologize, to vent, and just to cry. But when Uncle James answered the phone, with a somber voice unbecoming of his usual jovial self, she knew something was wrong. Just the night before, a truck driver fell asleep and ran Janet's car off the road. By the time rescue workers arrived there was more ash than car left, and Emily was suddenly by herself in the world. She immediately flew down for the funeral, but as soon as it was over she swore of the entirety of her past. She swore she would never return to the home where her final words inside were to tell her mom to "Go to Hell."
Suddenly birds started chirping and Emily's mind was snapped back to the present, and she found she was still standing in the door frame. She took a deep breath while she still had some semblance of fresh air and stepped through. She flipped the light switch, but to no one's surprise, nothing happened. Its a good thing she brought a flashlight, as even during the midday, the trees surrounding the home cast a deep shadow that made seeing difficult. She half expected a family of mice or any other sort of critter to start scurrying away when the floor creaked, but instead she was greeted with the most unsettling stillness. Almost twenty years later, and the guilt of her last time here still haunts her. She tried to remind herself that she never meant any of those awful things she said, and she knew her mom was never angry with her for it. Just hurt. And that was even worse.
She deftly moved through the home, from the foyer, to the living room, then to the kitchen. Each room reminding her of better times. Of the time before Grandpa Milton passed away and the family gathered every holiday to celebrate each other. Of the night of her eighth grade dance when she knew the world was going to end because her hair just wasn't right. That was until Janet came by and, with a few quick strokes of a brush, suddenly had her looking like a princess again. She was good at that. Not just doing hair, but just turning the bad moments into beautiful ones. Emily found tears welling up in her eyes just thinking about it, and she walked to the dining table and just sat down for a minute and tried to compose herself. She had to remind herself why she was here after all this time.
Despite the rocky start, Emily actually carved a good life for herself on the west coast. She graduated top of her class and got a great job at the corporate office of a well know cleaning product company, and now she was sitting on the board too. She also finally met a sweet man named Jose, and even married him. They both want to start a family, but there was something Emily had to do first. She figured it was time to come to terms with her mother's passing before she became one herself. Maybe she was afraid of it ending the same way. But she knew that she owed it to herself and her mother to finally face her past.
As she stood back up and made her way down the hallway, she found herself standing outside her mother's bedroom. This was it, she thought to herself. This was where it all happed. Where she barged in and said all those awful things. She couldn't even remember all the things she said, just the yelling back and forth, and the look in her mothers eyes as she was holding back tears. The same look that Emily now had. She turned the handle and numbly pushed the door open. It was exactly as she remembered it, the same forest green curtains hung over the same window with the same view of the driveway. The same oak vanity with the same picture of Emily's mother and father. Her father left before she was born and this one picture is the only thing Janet ever kept of him. When Emily asked her whys she kept it, Janet just said, "As useless as he was, he did give me the greatest gift I've ever know, so I suppose I owe him at least that much." Emily turned and sat on the bed. The same sheets she remembered were still neatly made. She ran her fingers across the silk, lamenting how much the dark pink has faded over the years. She swung her feet down to stand and felt them hit something under the bed. Shocked, she looked under and saw a small cardboard box. The box was nearly weightless as she slid it into view, and inside there were only three things: a framed photo of Emily and her mother, an old music box, and an envelope with Emily's name on it and her old address from her first semester. She carried it outside to the front porch and sat on the same swing that they were sitting on in the picture. She then opened the envelope and read what was inside
"To my littlest star, Emmy,
First off, I wanted to apologize that this letter has taken so long, but I simply can not seem to find the right words. I know the last we spoke, we both said things we regret, but I have not stopped missing and loving you every day since. Ever since you were a little girl I knew you were meant for much more than this small slice of the world. I spent every waking moment trying to prepare myself for the day you spread you wings and fly. And yet when that moment came, I was not ready. The thought of my baby girl leaving me behind was more frightening to me than anything I've ever faced before. I worry that I tried so hard to hold on to what was, I completely lost my grip on what will be. But don't you mind me. I know I will be okay. You know, you're not the first girl ever to have a fight with their mom. In fact it is practically a rite of passage as you become your own woman. When I was your age and thought I knew everything, I also had fights with my mother. But no matter how angry we would be, I never stopped believing how much she loved me. And I hope you also know that I will forever love you. I'm sending you the music box that she gave to me when I moved out. When ever you listen to it, remember me and all the good times we had, and imagine all the good times we will have. And one day when you're all grown up and seeing your little girl off, maybe then you will understand.
With all the love in the world,
Mom"
Emily sat there and could no longer hold back the tears. Years worth of regret finally started to fade away. Janet took the worst bad moment of Emily's life, and somehow turned it into the most beautiful one. She took one last look at her childhood home before loading the car with the box. She opened the music box and the faintest whisper of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' filling the air. Satisfied that she made the right decision coming back, she drove away with a smile on her face. She couldn't wait to see Jose again and tell him about the kick she felt in her stomach.
It wasn't that the house was full of a bunch of little bad memories, just one really big bad memory. That awful fight she had with her mother, Janet, before leaving for college. Emily's mother was worried that she was making a mistake following her boyfriend to California. Sure they had only been dating for a few months, but they had everything planned out. Besides, West Virginia was too small for their ambitions anyway. But as teenagers usually were, Emily was wrong. Right before Christmas break, Emily suddenly found herself single, and across the country with no one. And somehow that still wasn't the worst part of that day.
Emily tried to call her mother to apologize, to vent, and just to cry. But when Uncle James answered the phone, with a somber voice unbecoming of his usual jovial self, she knew something was wrong. Just the night before, a truck driver fell asleep and ran Janet's car off the road. By the time rescue workers arrived there was more ash than car left, and Emily was suddenly by herself in the world. She immediately flew down for the funeral, but as soon as it was over she swore of the entirety of her past. She swore she would never return to the home where her final words inside were to tell her mom to "Go to Hell."
Suddenly birds started chirping and Emily's mind was snapped back to the present, and she found she was still standing in the door frame. She took a deep breath while she still had some semblance of fresh air and stepped through. She flipped the light switch, but to no one's surprise, nothing happened. Its a good thing she brought a flashlight, as even during the midday, the trees surrounding the home cast a deep shadow that made seeing difficult. She half expected a family of mice or any other sort of critter to start scurrying away when the floor creaked, but instead she was greeted with the most unsettling stillness. Almost twenty years later, and the guilt of her last time here still haunts her. She tried to remind herself that she never meant any of those awful things she said, and she knew her mom was never angry with her for it. Just hurt. And that was even worse.
She deftly moved through the home, from the foyer, to the living room, then to the kitchen. Each room reminding her of better times. Of the time before Grandpa Milton passed away and the family gathered every holiday to celebrate each other. Of the night of her eighth grade dance when she knew the world was going to end because her hair just wasn't right. That was until Janet came by and, with a few quick strokes of a brush, suddenly had her looking like a princess again. She was good at that. Not just doing hair, but just turning the bad moments into beautiful ones. Emily found tears welling up in her eyes just thinking about it, and she walked to the dining table and just sat down for a minute and tried to compose herself. She had to remind herself why she was here after all this time.
Despite the rocky start, Emily actually carved a good life for herself on the west coast. She graduated top of her class and got a great job at the corporate office of a well know cleaning product company, and now she was sitting on the board too. She also finally met a sweet man named Jose, and even married him. They both want to start a family, but there was something Emily had to do first. She figured it was time to come to terms with her mother's passing before she became one herself. Maybe she was afraid of it ending the same way. But she knew that she owed it to herself and her mother to finally face her past.
As she stood back up and made her way down the hallway, she found herself standing outside her mother's bedroom. This was it, she thought to herself. This was where it all happed. Where she barged in and said all those awful things. She couldn't even remember all the things she said, just the yelling back and forth, and the look in her mothers eyes as she was holding back tears. The same look that Emily now had. She turned the handle and numbly pushed the door open. It was exactly as she remembered it, the same forest green curtains hung over the same window with the same view of the driveway. The same oak vanity with the same picture of Emily's mother and father. Her father left before she was born and this one picture is the only thing Janet ever kept of him. When Emily asked her whys she kept it, Janet just said, "As useless as he was, he did give me the greatest gift I've ever know, so I suppose I owe him at least that much." Emily turned and sat on the bed. The same sheets she remembered were still neatly made. She ran her fingers across the silk, lamenting how much the dark pink has faded over the years. She swung her feet down to stand and felt them hit something under the bed. Shocked, she looked under and saw a small cardboard box. The box was nearly weightless as she slid it into view, and inside there were only three things: a framed photo of Emily and her mother, an old music box, and an envelope with Emily's name on it and her old address from her first semester. She carried it outside to the front porch and sat on the same swing that they were sitting on in the picture. She then opened the envelope and read what was inside
"To my littlest star, Emmy,
First off, I wanted to apologize that this letter has taken so long, but I simply can not seem to find the right words. I know the last we spoke, we both said things we regret, but I have not stopped missing and loving you every day since. Ever since you were a little girl I knew you were meant for much more than this small slice of the world. I spent every waking moment trying to prepare myself for the day you spread you wings and fly. And yet when that moment came, I was not ready. The thought of my baby girl leaving me behind was more frightening to me than anything I've ever faced before. I worry that I tried so hard to hold on to what was, I completely lost my grip on what will be. But don't you mind me. I know I will be okay. You know, you're not the first girl ever to have a fight with their mom. In fact it is practically a rite of passage as you become your own woman. When I was your age and thought I knew everything, I also had fights with my mother. But no matter how angry we would be, I never stopped believing how much she loved me. And I hope you also know that I will forever love you. I'm sending you the music box that she gave to me when I moved out. When ever you listen to it, remember me and all the good times we had, and imagine all the good times we will have. And one day when you're all grown up and seeing your little girl off, maybe then you will understand.
With all the love in the world,
Mom"
Emily sat there and could no longer hold back the tears. Years worth of regret finally started to fade away. Janet took the worst bad moment of Emily's life, and somehow turned it into the most beautiful one. She took one last look at her childhood home before loading the car with the box. She opened the music box and the faintest whisper of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' filling the air. Satisfied that she made the right decision coming back, she drove away with a smile on her face. She couldn't wait to see Jose again and tell him about the kick she felt in her stomach.
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