What vile aroma chokes the air,

A scent that wilts the maiden's hair -

A cocktail mix of cheese and sweat,

Eau de Gamer, freshly set.

Behold! A neckbeard enters stage,

A walking Reddit thread of rage.

He tips his fedora, suave and slow:

"M'lady, care to see my glow?"

His shirt, once black, is now a gray,

Stained by tendies from yesterday.

She gags and bolts with noble speed,

Mistaking bile for romantic need.

He sighs, "Alas! The friendzone's blade!"

As if her puke was some charade.

To the restroom she did flee,

Clearly smitten - can't you see?

Security comes with practiced grace,

Spotting neckbeard out of place.

"Out you go," they firmly state,

"Your Dungeon Master skills must wait."

Thrown like trash, he hits the ground,

Clutching memes and sobbing sound.

"It's not fair!" he starts to weep,

"Women want jocks who lift and sleep!"

A suited man appears with flair,

Restraining order, signed with care.

"Don't return," he calmly says,

"And delete that post from yesterday."

He writhes like Gollum in despair,

Declaring, "Nice guys get no fair share!"

He blames the world, he blames the Chad,

But never questions why he's sad.

Back to Discord he retreats,

Where he bans folks for daring tweets.

Mods with power, snacks in hand,

The true alphas of the land.

His mother knocks: "Sweetie, eat!"

She brings his tray with loving feat.

Tendies warm, and juice box cold -

The life of legends, brave and bold.

So here he stays, his sacred fort,

A king in briefs of noble sort.

A god among the digital swine -

Oh Basement Baron, reign divine!