Jaylen had dealt with plenty of messy situations in life - bad roommates, late rent, even that time his cousin tried to sell "designer" purses out the trunk of a car.
But nothing, absolutely nothing, prepared him for the digital drama of his ex, Crystal.
It started on a Sunday afternoon. Jaylen was minding his own business, scrolling through memes, when his phone buzzed.
"I would rather for you to unfriend me," Crystal typed. No "hello," no "how are you," just pure chaos.
Jaylen squinted at the screen. Really? He sighed and tossed his phone on the couch. Maybe if he ignored her, she'd cool off.
Five minutes later, *ding!* Another message lit up his screen.
"Getting tired of you posting her."
He picked up the phone, confused.
"I'm tired of her tagging you," he shot back, thumbs flying.
Crystal wasn't about to back down.
"Ok, but you post her more."
Jaylen sat there, mouth wide open. "What in the Facebook beef is this?" he muttered to himself.
But Crystal wasn't done yet.
"And your folks always posting and tagging her? you think I don't look and see?"
Jaylen blinked three times like he was buffering. "Girl, what kind of private investigator job you got that you tracking tags?"
He typed back carefully:
"I can't control that."
The dots appeared as she typed furiously.
"You never could."
Jaylen groaned and grabbed a bag of chips, knowing this was about to turn into a marathon.
Finally, he decided to lay it out plain:
"How the hell can I control another grown person?"
Crystal still wasn't convinced.
Jaylen imagined her pacing in her living room like she was about to file a police report over Facebook likes.
And that's when it hit him - this wasn't a fight about who posted what.
It wasn't about social media tags or family drama.
Crystal just couldn't log off?
and Jaylen?
He just wanted Wi-Fi and peace.