Somewhere in the darkness lurked a man with promises of a place without nightmares. His eyes were the blue of a sky expecting a storm, his hair as black as tar. He was a sweet and charming man with answers to all my questions. He held my hand and guided me over the bridge, then he cut the ropes that held it together. He held my hand and took me through the snow, keeping me warm with his promises. He told me of the big house where we would live. Through the snow and over the mountain I waited for the big house to greet us. Only caves greeted us in the valley. They were dark and I was scared.
Look for the candle light, the man said, smiling his warm smile.
I looked around for the glow but none came. He guided me deeper into the darkness until even the air was afraid to go deeper. My lungs slowed and my eyes grew heavy with sleep.
Just a bit further, the man whispered.
Dreams threatened to fill my head, dreams of the big house. A single candle rested on an alter deep in the cave, its wax dripping soundlessly onto the floor. The man’s face even more beautiful in the warm glow of the flame.
This is your room, the man said.
Was this the big house? He took me by the waist and lifted me effortlessly onto the stone bed, sitting me beside the little candle. He looked at me. The air left my lungs. The little flame on the alter faded, returning the man and I into darkness. His hands cupped my face, cold as the stone on which I sat, then moved to my neck, squeezing ever so gently. The darkness grew inky and dense like honey. Fear left me, everything left me.
I fell asleep.
When the man first came to me he told me he could set me free. At first I didn’t believe him. Now I know it was the truth.
The darkness faded, banished by the purity of the sun. Over the hill of chamomile flowers stood the big house. Loneliness fell over me like a blanket soaked in ice water. There would be no nightmares, there would be no dreams at all. There would be nothing but the big house. Contentment was hard to find, but I managed. Eternity alone was better than the nightmares. I tried not to realize it was a nightmare of its own.