I look upon my current life, almost as if I had the Overview Effect. I have second thoughts on what I have done with it till now. Achievements seem insignificant for me now, mostly like seconds of pleasure. I am now unsure whether there is meaning in this, the desires for love, power and fame. I used to have cravings for being great, for having a life that does not have any problems. I take a minute to breathe in my packed schedule and I notice everybody around me. They are running about, all busy with their own things. But I do not know what my own thing is. I am always doing something or the other thing. I am trying to display excellency in each thing I lay my hands upon. This obsession is driving me crazy. It is savage, conquering me, burning me from the inside. I can’t find my own thing, always trying to be enough for others, for me. Stakes are high, bars are almost unreachable. This world is different, harder and tougher. Still others are coping with it, evolving with it. But look at me, sitting on my own seat, refusing to move. What is the meaning of life if it causes you more pain than joy? The air of melancholy has surrounded me, now I am weeping in distress. I try to blend in with others of my age, but I don’t like the gossip and discussions of others. I don’t want to change myself for these sanctimonious people and bestow my fake smile upon them. Who are they to decide my future and expect me to do exactly what they want me to do. I was never like what I have become now. It is truly painful, but every cloud has a silver lining. I know who to trust, how to avoid judgmental people. I know how to live my life; I will keep trying to build up a wall of courage and self-esteem which I had lost so pathetically. I will be great in my own way, and I will be one of my kind.
