By: Naomie Deborah Tilahun
I've shared my story with many of you, sharing an�unvarnished, unfiltered account of my battle with mental illness. The journey hasn't been easy. It has been filled with highs and lows, victories, and times of tremendous adversity. However, I made an intentional decision right away: My story - everything in it - the beautiful, the damaged, the confusing parts of it - belongs to God. With my simple prayer, "Use this to advance Your Kingdom," I offered Him everything.
I want to go over with you today the notion of "stewarding your pain," which may seem basic but involves complete surrender. I am mindful that this idea of stewarding suffering may seem nearly impossible to some of you. And I do understand that. Pain is chaotic. It weighs much. It's usually cruel. Nevertheless, I want to reassure you of the supernatural grace that is offered to those who rely on God - grace that enables us to effortlessly do things that we could never do on our own.
Stewardship is frequently related to careful money management. While this is accurate, stewardship encompasses much more. The principle of stewardship pertains to the prudent handling of anything that God entrusts to us, such as money, time, skills, relationships, and yes, even our suffering.
In reality, life will supply us with seasons that push us past our comfort zones, tragedies that hurt us, and situations that seem unfair. The Kingdom viewpoint, however, is that we do not have to avoid or reject pain. We are given a responsibility to steward it. We have to confront it. We engage with it. And through the power of God's grace, we permit Christ to uncover meaning in our mess and beauty in our brokenness.
I've actually seen this. My battle with mental illness eventually brought me to one of the lowest points of my life - a dreadful episode that left me in the hospital for a few weeks. By global standards, that season appeared to be considered a loss. However, it became an advantageous field for ministering in God's economy.
The cross of Jesus Christ was one reality I was unable to stay quiet about while in that hospital when my emotions and thoughts were faint. Even in my own crisis, I shared Calvary's hope with others in the same situation. I talked to them about the One who not only gave his life to save them, but also supports them through their worst moments. By the time I left, the hearts of individuals had been moved, their chains had been broken, and some had even had a personal encounter with Christ.
Now that I reflect on it, that was stewarding pain. Although I didn't select the suffering, I chose how to cope with it. I gave God license to use my difficult situation as a platform for His glory.
Pretending it doesn't hurt is certainly not the same as stewarding suffering. Stewardship�involves inviting God into the pain. It includes saying, "Lord, I believe that You can save me from this situation - but until You do, grant me the ability to respond in a way that honors, glorifies, and delights You."
Your suffering is not pointless, dear friend. Even some of your most severe wounds have the potential to sow the seeds of hope in another person's life when they are in God's care. Avoid wasting your pain. Steward it well. Trust the grace you've been given. Allow the wounds you suffer to serve as evidence of God's goodness.
Go with God and grace and steward your pain well.