Universe had an attitude with me the previous year, and as January was still fidgeting to finally fit in, I was all smiles with all these resolutions in my head, how I'm going to tackle the new year.
Plans were made, experience was gained and with this new knowledge confidence filled me up like a holy spirit. But then this was the year, the year I had to welcome a new visitor in my mystery life.
As per the doctor, January would not drift to the deep ends before it came, and here I am, a broke man with nothing to show for at his 30s. I already saw the posts in social media, people condemning my kind.
Some said, men like me should even be banned to always stay 100 meters away from women, some teased with that phrase, we are a disgrace to the community and should not even live with other men.
Others asked women they should never talk to us, just because of our empty pockets. Now being broke automatically makes a man a wild animal, he should find a shelter closer to lions and wolves. I have in many instances quenched these insults at the comfort of my home.
If this were to be true though, how would a 50-year-old start a family? Don’t get me wrong, kids are a blessing but those cute little angels can be jumpy at times, and that needs a younger breed to sustain that pressure.
These social media punches were depressing at times, and I even got dissolved with these insults at some point, but being a strong man, it would take more than an insult to put me down.
And here I am, not only did I break the rules of these people but crossed boundaries. In any case, my woman is not their woman, they don't have a say in what I should do with my life and I'm my own man, who said I'll be broke my entire life?
After all, my destiny was not in the hands of few keyboard warriors, and my destination is not their destination. Hell, who wants to live a lonely life? Who? If not, those narcissistic bullies who find solace in putting others down?
In another thought, they were speaking the truth, but who cares? The mess is already done and as a man, I have to own my mistakes and take responsibility. Some would say being financially unstable is disrespect to yourself, and I agree.
Had I been lazy? NO! Had I been trying? OF COURSE! Excuses however is something hated by the world, and I was not willing or ready to spill any. I just wanted God to see me through this scary part of my life.
Remember I knew, I knew and I prepared. In my preparation, I set up a business and I acquired a skill. This skill got me a gig, and my business was throwing few coins in my pocket every end of the day.
Until this one day, I remember it like the back of my hands. How can a man forget the day his ego was pricked? The day when the universe decided that showing me her teeth was an insult to her ego. She has always been that way, but breaking me to my knees, she went too far.
Finance bill had just been announced, and customers decided that luxury was not part of their salary. That, I understand, but what about my transcription skill? How did economy affect that? Now income was not coming in, and I tried to be strong, but living with no hope, that required training to survive depression.
Such were the days I wished death on me; I was an ill-fated human who was to welcome another being to share my disgusting life. Damn! I even stopped believing in God, in any case why? Why would he let this happen to me. Was I willing to disappear? OF COURSE! But I was raised well, so I stuck around to face any monster that came my way.
At such times, I could only offer my presence and dedication. So, I engaged her on safe delivering procedures, and hiking by her side every evening was one of the activities I enjoyed.
Seeing different designs of mansions, walking across neighborhoods I have dreamed of setting a home there, meeting beautiful faces and seeing different models of cars, was the kind of therapy even the professional therapist could not offer.
I could see how happy she was every time we came back home after the hiking, how flexible she walked and how vibrant her mood was, that was an underrated best feeling a man could ask for.
‘So, the little things could do wonders?’ my thoughts began. Within this time, I cooked for her, I watched beside her, we chatted for hours and I visited her clinic sessions. Good old days I tell you.
Then this one morning, I wake up to screams, "Babe, she's gone! She's gone!" "Who?" I asked. "Our kid! She's gone." My heart skipped some beats I could tell, and I looked at her straight on the face as tears scrambled to leave my eyes.
Her tears had already filled her cheeks and I could tell she was in pain by the look of things. I quickly helped her sit, and be the strong one since there was no one to encourage her in this depressing moment.
"We don't know that yet, hold on, let me find an Uber to the hospital." I managed to calm her. I could see the bleeding, and usually those are symptoms of miscarriage but I scratched that stupid thought.
I stepped out where she couldn't see me to accumulate myself and wipe away my tears. Waiting for such long just to receive bad news, that would shatter me. I don't think my heart had the reinforcement for such storm.
After collecting myself, I now had the ability to think. First, I called the hospital that walked with us through this journey but they were unavailable. In a spun of a second, I found myself at the doors of the hospital where padlocks passed their greetings.
This could not pin me down, hell, this is my woman and my seed we are talking about. What possibly could break a man beyond losing the only family he has created? NOTHING! I was willing to do anything as long as they are safe.
Hurriedly, I bumped into this hospital on my searching mission and this receptionist as shameless as she was, had the audacity to tell me I have to book an appointment with the doctor before I was attended to.
People working inside the hospital walls should have been awarded the prize money of the most malicious beings. I have a few names I could throw in to the Guinness Book of World Records to lighten their work, as long as they are recorded.
"My lady is not in a state to sit down and talk, she needs immediate medical attention!" I muttered to her so the rest of the room won't tell how frustrated I was. But men, I was this close to let my fists and kicks do the talking before she smiled.
That beautiful smile planted on her face was my anger’s solvent, and I just stared deep in her eyes, thinking how I can completely wreck that beautiful face, how I can jump over the desk and tear her apart for being so ignorant.
Finally, I made a decision that today was not the day to be spending with the bandits as my wife fends for herself. Almost thirty people were sitting at the reception, probably waiting for appointment, additionally they have paid. I couldn’t have my wife suffer on a bench waiting to meet some human in white overcoat full of pride. So, I walked out to find another hospital.
Fortunately, as I walked back home, I met one of the doctors from our usual hospital and explained to him my wife's state. He quickly ran to open the hospital as I headed home to bring her.
When I arrived, she was lying on the floor while holding her stomach. She was obviously in excruciating pain. The strong, beautiful woman I know is now devastated and crashed in ways only her could tell. That broke me into tiny pieces, and before I helped her up, I mumbled a prayer to God, so he spares her life for me, because I knew I’m the weak one in our union.
I called an Uber, and it was here after a few minutes. That short distance between our apartment and the Uber took close to 20 minutes. Her walking was slower than that of a snail. She was abruptly a grandma who had gobbled a century and still kicking. As much as I found solace in my humor, inside I was as empty as a desert.
She looked weak, and obviously on an empty stomach since we hadn’t taken our breakfast. I held her firmly as we walked to the car, just to be certain she won’t fall and cause more troubles for us both. My pockets were not in a position to contain another extra bill, they were at the verge of drying out.
We finally boarded and boom, we arrived at the building of the sick. Without further ado’s checkup was commenced and this example of a doctor claimed it was fake warnings. 'Fake warnings?' I thought. You can imagine a doctor telling you that you have a fake illness after taking on agonizing pain for hours? Are doctors people?
"I'm not a doctor but my woman is strong to be put down by a fake warning." I confidently told that ignorant woman identifying as a doctor. She said, "Okay, then confirm with scanning and bring over the results to be sure."
For my woman and my little human, I was not hesitant for such small things. So, I quickly found the hospital with the scanning machine since this one was a sketch of a real hospital.
My instincts however are not something I toy around with, so I asked the nurses to help her to the scanning room as I search for a hospital with better facilities to deliver. This nurse who we met earlier offered to help me with that since he had a few suggestions.
“What’s your budget?” he asked. Then is when I realized delivering has a price tag. “How much are we talking about?” I was curious. “150 to 300 dollars.” He responded. “But we can find a good place with less than that.” he continued. ‘I look that broke?’ I thought.
My budget was my woman to deliver safely at a quality hospital, but this judgmental piece of doctor thinks otherwise. It’s like he was paying me or knows much about the figures in my bank account. The kind of depression I had that day, could amount to any uncivilized act before I remind myself that actions have consequences. My prayers were that these people I’m talking to, should be wise enough to choose their words carefully.
After scrutinizing a few hospitals, I eventually settled with one I liked. It was expensive, but matters health are not the kind of things to be included on a bargain list. Life was vital, and I made sure everything was sorted, and paid in advance just in case things go south, we skip the talking part and get to business.
Now my mind was a bit at peace, but not so much now that scanning was ongoing in another place in my absence. I ran to the place to walk with her through the scanning session. There the small human was, actively moving and smiling with that message on the face, "I'm coming in a few daddy." That cute little human was alive.
That was enough assurance for me that all these struggles were not for nothing, my energy was renewed from about five to 40 percent. Delivery bill was settled, I was just from seeing the young princess safe and sound. What could possibly go sideways? At this point, if the universe could do anything to hurt my feelings, I could personally help it keep one soul without a body.
"Delivery was in 2 weeks, this is just a false warning." Scanning expert spilled that poison in my ears. I didn't even have the energy to argue anymore, how could someone sustain such pains for two weeks consistently? It's either these doctors are amateurs or they're just cruel.
I called an Uber and we went home. Her being in pain didn't sit well with me, my appetite had taken off through the window. Food tasted bitter, and my humanity was a bit submerged that I wished it was an on and off button. That feeling inside me was like a cactus tree inserted in my stomach.
"God give a sign that is tangible, something that can end this journey for good." I whispered a prayer, hoping for any sign that will confirm little person is actually here, not tomorrow or next week. This time the big man listened, contrary to what He always does when it comes to me. It's like every time I pray, he is taking lunch or dinner.
Minutes later, that transparent bag holding my little one bursted. Already it made those doctors think otherwise, so probably I was not in good terms with it. Wish somethings were alive, I would blast its brain open and remind it what a father can do when it comes to his kid.
Before she even said a word, numbers were dialed followed by a go ahead that we should not waste time to arrive at the sick people's building. I called the Uber, and before the hand clock finalized ten laps, we were already cutting across streets, hooting and overtaking carelessly.
The Uber guy seemed to have had a good share of experience with emergencies, and how nervous he was I could tell he had a story to narrate. Obviously, not today, as that was not the time and place to ask, maybe if we luckily met in a more contained situation.
Before we went further, cars accumulated in front of us on such a day! There and then I knew Mrs. Universe had paid a visit, on a day and time I am busy, that was personal even for her. ‘Doesn’t he have manners, or her brain is still stuck in ancient days where people didn’t have boundaries.’ I thought. “Not today! Not today universe!” I mumbled.
It’s always the universe because I know God is too decent for such pettiness. “God, could you please take care of me today, universe is getting on my neck and I don’t like her treatment.” I prayed.
"This stupid guy doesn't see I have an emergency." Uber guy lamented with a stone face. But how can he know? This is not an ambulance. No warning sirens to alert those innocent drivers that there's an emergency. 'Was this why people were so hard on men with empty pockets?' I thought.
But how would a man with full pockets handle such a situation? If I were to give a few assumptions, let’s say maybe his wife would be in an ambulance, or maybe his guards would be clearing the way for his convoy to pass, but if he was alone, even if he was in a Rolls Royce or Range Rover, my situation and his wouldn't be so much different.
Humming bird couldn't stop, and this gave the Uber driver a blow on his humanity. He started exchanging words with other motorist, some were calm, others arrogant, some could sense something odd when they managed to steal a glance at the passenger's seat. “Move the car you ignorant fat man!” he lost it. How he knew the driver was fat always beats me.
“I will knock that example of a car to the ditch.” Another driver exclaimed. “Try and let’s find out if you’re taking your legs home today.” He threatened. You could see some of them paving way for us as they swallowed their ego, as those egoistic crazy motorists stood in our way.
One old man alighted his car, he looked 60 or so years, and walked in front of our car then ordered the Uber driver to follow him. He was tall, bulky and slow but he volunteered to bring order in the street for us to pass. That was definitely an old man I would want my little human to have as a grandfather. Not that the real grandpa is not good, he is awesome, having more than two however would still be great.
Were it not for emergency I would catch up with him, but we could not go further than mere appreciation at that moment. Seemed like he knew that, because he insisted using his hands that we move just after he cleared the way.
When the way was clear, I was the one holding the front seat steadily so the car couldn't tipple. It's like the driver’s leg was glued to the accelerator. I wanted to ask him to go easy on the machine, but he preceded me with "Delayed delivery kills, and that's why I don't want to be the one to be blamed today, not today!"
Damn! Those words immediately swept me off the panic ground and landed me on the land of I don't care. My life was instantly meaningless, as I focused on my wife at the front seat. My thoughts skipped town for a minute thinking of a life without her.
As much as I know I’m not in the good books of universe, she chose the best woman for me. It’s like we are a match made in heaven, how we joke, how we talk, how we live, the things I want she wants and the life I dream of she dreams of too.
Marriage was not for me, my parents’ marriage failed and many people close to me, including my uncles, cousins and friends. In any debate that marriage was brought up, I was the guy on opposition side. Women to me, was just God’s objects to punish men, and that was not something I was willing to persevere.
Then one day I met this woman, she’s independent, has good morals, romantic, very, very beautiful, elegant and classy, to make matters worse she wanted me, me! Good things were not something I was used to, judging by the suffering Mrs. Universe has always delivered at my doorstep. For a minute, I thought that was a trap.
It wasn’t, she was serious about me, she wanted a life with me, she wanted my seed inside her and looking at her taking that pain for me, I couldn’t measure how much she loves me. A loud voice delivered me from the other world to the real world, and now my mind was back in my body.
"Where is the hospital?” Uber driver shouted as if my woman was taking her last breath. It's like I was woken from a deep slumber. "There! There!" I pointed, feeling relieved we've arrived, probably in good hands. The nurses were waiting outside ready to receive her. I asked for his number to settle the fare, but he was already at the passenger's side opening the door for my wife.
The moment I walked out the car, the nurses had already escorted her to delivery room as I settle bills out here. It was some minutes to four in the evening, just few hours to darkness. When I entered the hospital, you could think there was a patient at the center of life and death.
"Go that way." I was told by one nurse. They were pacing up and down creating a commotion that needed calculation to walk without getting knocked down. I dodged a few of them until I arrived at the room my wife was escorted to.
There she was, awaiting the anticipated moment of truth, and I was there beside her as the nurse prepared her. I have never been a strong chap when it comes to medicine aroma and needles. They scare the hell out of me. Were it not for my little one, I would respectfully wait at the reception.
She was first served with anesthetic injection, then a few others followed. "Is she delivering now?" I asked perplexed. "Yes, she is ready." The nurse replied. Were it not for my good morals, I would have walked to the previous hospital with my belt held high, and whipped anyone I came across.
'Did those amateurs want my wife to depart young?' I wondered in my thoughts. Matters at hand were contained now and for my peace, I had to forgive their incompetence. I won’t lie though, they were a darling to offer me a little bit of experience and lessons, that’s much I could give them. Few minutes later the process began.
"Push! Push!" Were the sounds spreading across the walls of the hospital. Screams followed as I grabbed her hand just to assure her that support is intact. My presence there was to remind her that if she fails, she's not only failing herself but me too. That, I believed was enough motivation to PUSH HARDER.
After minutes of pushing, a new sound hit the air. My ears were ringing but this sound was clearly intercepted like the back of my hands. It’s like I had heard the sound before; I was just not sure when. My wife was almost unconscious but that broad smile that covered her face was the only thing I was patiently waiting the whole day.
My excitement was a hired one, I swear never in my life had I ever been this excited. My baby's side emerged with a completely childish reaction. Nobody could tell if I was smiling or crying or laughing, I was okay though. Whatever anyone thinks of me that moment was none of my business.
This is my seed, my blood, MINE! And I wanted to clear the room so we meet officially and exchange kisses and hugs as I welcome her into this cruel world. I had a speech prepared, all this words I had in stock to pour out. It could take hours, and I couldn’t stop talking. I would scribble each and every word here, but this book will find its way in the World Guinness Book of Records for being the longest ever written.
Don’t get me wrong, I would love that especially if I was doing it for my younger person. Now that I just wrote this, she would think I was selfish, so let me just say a portion of my speech.
“This day is nothing but a dream to me baby, and today has been the hardest day in my life and your mother’s. Not because of you though, you have just wiped all the tears from our eyes. You are our bundle of joy we never asked for, and here you are, healthy, beautiful and full of life.
Today I am promoted, and now I got a new name, ‘Father.’ Me, father, I don’t even know if I am ready, but we will walk this path together. I will fail; I will make mistakes but I’m open to learn. For you, I’m willing to take classes, for you I must get it right, if I have to live for you then I have a new job. Words cannot say how much I love you, and for that I will show you.”
She was her mom in complexion, but all me in looks. What more could I ask for ladies and gentlemen? What more? Now, let's shout out to the one and only, the beautiful princess, the most awaited queen of the womb, the most anticipated grand master, savior of the depressed, and now, let's put our hands together for, SHAYNA!
