Waking up early this morning
Is it a quarter after two?
The diesel engine ran all night
and now I wake up to THIS view
I throw open my sleeper drapes
in a place I had to back in
It's in the middle of the night
I'd better go check my kingpin
With a flashlight and tire thumper
I check my pigtail connection
While most people are home in bed
I'll do a quick pre-trip inspection
We'll check out brake pads and leaf springs
and try the old Lincoln's head trick
Make sure the bumper sits level
and not above a large oil slick
I'm looking at slack adjusters
and checking out my marker lights
In Effingham, Illinois
with Oak Grove, Missouri in my sights
Just when you think I'm good to go
that's when I look under the hood
The belts all work in harmony
the fluid levels look pretty good
I step behind my catwalk quick
to mark where I just spent the night
With the universe above me
beyond the reach of the street light
Then using the 3 point method
I climb up into my cab
Either use two hands and a foot
or two feet and something to grab
I take out my Keller log book
and my clipboard for its surface
I only have 6 hours today
that's left on my hours of service
There's 70 hours they give us
and there's 8 days to spread them out
Last Saturday I went nowhere
I won't get back any amount
With roughly 315 miles
that lie between point A and B
70 is double nickel
until we get through Saint Louie
Some truckers wear their cowboy boots
when they're off rattling them padlocks
I usually go barefoot
or in a pair of Birkenstocks
I never pull out the red knob
but the yellow diamond instead
If you release your trailer brakes
they may freeze in the winter ahead
Unless your sitting in a dock
or uncoupling to dolly down
Just use your tractor brakes my friend
or you'll be starting with frown
I'm lucky this morning however
as I switch from line 4 to 3
Logged a 15 minute pre-trip
even though it took more like 20
With my left foot upon the clutch
and my right applying the brake
I push in the air supply valve
and find my gear easy as cake
The RPMs in the lower
gears start to scream right off the bat
Just pop it into neutral then
the next gear will take care of that
We're slowly building momentum
with 45,000 in the box
With my eyeballs in my mirror
and bouncing on these air ride shocks
I'm blasting through the stick shifter
just walking it up gear by gear
The instructors say, "Watch the tach"
I insist on playing by ear
Remember to steer the trailer
and take all the turns really wide
And in the dark I climb back on
the freeway going west and ride
There's a giant cross by the split
70 and south 57
There's grass and trees I can not see
that in daylight look like Heaven
The wrong way takes you to Memphis
when I have to continue west
There is a few of us out here
solar power must claim the rest
I'm sitting behind the windshield
with the reigns under my command
When I happen to spot a fence
Midwestern correctional land
Not even an hour into my drive
and its silhouette makes me think
I can truly say that this is
the closest I've come to the clink
Driving a truck and living out here
near the turn of the century
With an atlas and a Qualcomm
cell phones are a luxury
The only GPS onboard
shows the powers that be my place
It won't tell me where I'm going
it's just a way for them to trace
XM Satellite Radio
is supposed to be the next big thing
There's rabbit ears mirror mounted
to a TV I'd like to fling
Park 'N View will provide cable,
telephone and the internet
I've been playing the same mix tape
since that day I left Calumet
The broken white line to my left
and the strength of my headlight beams
A flatbed decides to pass me
tarp falling apart at the seams
All my gauges aglow in green
while the atmosphere remains black
Cross the river just after 4
Right before the rush hour attack
I could have taken the bypass
but the riverfront is a sight
I like to look at the archway
while the freeway goes to the right
I sit 3 rungs above the pavement
that my mud flaps can barely clear
The spinning of my Dayton rims
only using one hand to steer
It takes about 5 or 6 songs
for me to jet past Earth City
The chicken coup seems to be closed
No weigh station? What a pity
5:20 finds me in Warrenton
where the “J” seems to call my name
I take exit 188
and gear down to slow down the same
Double clutching is for rookies
the rest of us just float our gears
An unsynchronized transmission
means we rev up until it clears
Every time you take a pit stop
although this might sound kind of sour
Even if it's just to take a whiz
plan on losing about an hour
Between the decelerating
and turn left at the end of the ramp
We'll go across this overpass
that lie between streetlamp and streetlamp
I'm giving turn by turn directions
while the dawn finally appears
I'd tell you more - but I'm busy
climbing through all of these gears
Go down a ways and to the right
and follow the parade of trucks
And since I'm only running in
'cause I only have a few bucks
I'll park in front of the islands
and pull a quick move I call “Chris”
Now that I've pulled out my air brake
I'm gonna need to take a piss
Pardon my intermission folks
as the sky above fades to white
And the messiness of my home
that all travels with me despite
There's laundry strewn on the floorboards
and the funk of being lived in
If you look under my mattress
you'll see where I have stashed my sin
By using the 3 point method
I climb back into my cab
Either use two hands and a foot
or two feet and something to grab
I sit 3 rungs above the pavement
that my mud flaps can barely clear
The still frame of my Dayton rims
while I'm sipping off this root beer
I take out my Keller log book
and my clipboard for its surface
I have 3 and a quarter hours
that's left on my hours of service
I draw a line to 5:15
and then I mark it off duty
A lot lizard moves from truck to truck
trying to sell some of that booty
With my left foot upon the clutch
and my right applying the brake
I push in the air supply valve
and find my gear easy as cake
The RPMs in the lower
gears start to scream right off the bat
Just pop it into neutral then
the next gear will take care of that
We're slowly building momentum
with 45,000 in the box
With my eyeballs in my mirror
and bouncing on these air ride shocks
Every time you take a pit stop
if time is something you can't devour
Even if it's just to screw around
a pit stop takes about an hour
Shift my gaze toward Kingdom City
as I climb back on the freeway
Blinkers burning as gears are grabbed
like an 18 item buffet
I'm chewing on a corn dog
and palming the wheel – which is WONG
We all develop bad habits
when our training stops before long
US 40 runs under toe
I'm glad I'm not running that late
I got all the time in the world
to drive on through the 'Show Me State'
I don't deliver til Monday
and I'm setting up camp up here
It's this side of Kansas City
from Terre Haute – this load of beer
“Got a county mountie scouting
right about the 133
How does it look my direction”
came a voice across the CB
“You're looking at traffic build up
sorry I don't mean to scare
Just logging early morning miles
from the crook of my rocking chair”
“10-4, 10-4 there Rocking Chair
you're on the mic with Purple Pube
The rest of your drive looks divine”
“And yours might require some lube”
Ryder trucks make me nervous
but not over Timothy McVeigh
They're '4 wheelers' undercover
rookies that barely know their way
Give moving vans a wider birth
their drivers aren't professional
And as I clear Columbia
I might need a confessional
This turkey straddles BOTH our lanes
he's looking at a paper map
Out here driving with the big boys
with no idea how we rap
I'm 13 1/2 feet tall
and reach 8 1/2 feet wide
70 feet between bumpers
Good morning to you on my ride
Traversing this river of concrete
bearing guard rails and billboard signs
And later on when I can sleep
I'll be haunted by all these lines
There is 18 points of contact
below the clubhouse where I sit
There's smokestacks in my mirrors
and an air horn that sounds legit
My air filters big as trash cans
the jakes rattle like machine guns
Enough chrome to check your make up
but no real time between these runs
Pass by the Bobber in Boonville
where ol' Smokey looks real concerned
Ahead by the Lamine River
SWIFT went ahead and overturned
Wrecks happen on this stretch a lot
although that might sound kind of lame
The freeway through Missouri, son
Make sure you're on top of your game
The clock starts to prove my impatience
training my wagon to go west
Along a checkerboard of green
with my hair against the headrest
Hand high noon on the steering wheel
with the grill of my truck in front
Truckers move America guys
Pardon me for being so blunt
Sweet Springs begets Concordia
but Odessa's still a bridge too far
I only had 6 hours today
so I'd do something real bizarre
Run the wee hours of the morning
and stay at the truck stop up here
From Terre Haute I'm hauling
45,000 pounds of beer
Who can forget the RV Park
in Bates City with a motel
Their business sign screams CHEAP AS DIRT
They got rental units as well
FINALLY exit 28
when I was starting to lose hope
I've got 3 days growth on my face
and might have spilled the laundry soap
Rout F and H to Levasy
and perhaps there's a KOA
But the Petro Stopping Center
is where this trucker chooses to stay
A shower and some clean britches
Maybe a vacuum and Armor All
Go find a payphone and a card
and make a really long phone call
We're slowly losing momentum
with 45,000 in the box
With my eyeballs in my mirror
and bouncing on these air ride shocks
I've given mile by mile description
while the end finally appears
I'd tell you more - but I'm busy
going through all of these gears
I sit 3 rungs above the pavement
that my mud flaps can barely clear
The turning of my Dayton rims
using only one hand to steer
I take out my Keller log book
and my clipboard for its surface
I only had 6 hours today
twas left on my hours of service
There's 70 hours they give us
and there's 8 days to spread them out
Last Saturday I went nowhere
I didn't get back any amount
With roughly 315 miles
that lie between point A and B
I made it in one piece my friend
I'm real close to my consignee
I made it with time to spare
if only zero point two five
Legally I have to sit here
but I'm sure that I will survive
As far as precious real estate
this is where I'll be if you care
Right next to the Blue Beacon Wash
just sitting in my rocking chair