Waking up early this morning

Is it a quarter after two?

The diesel engine ran all night

and now I wake up to THIS view

I throw open my sleeper drapes

in a place I had to back in

It's in the middle of the night

I'd better go check my kingpin

With a flashlight and tire thumper

I check my pigtail connection

While most people are home in bed

I'll do a quick pre-trip inspection

We'll check out brake pads and leaf springs

and try the old Lincoln's head trick

Make sure the bumper sits level

and not above a large oil slick

I'm looking at slack adjusters

and checking out my marker lights

In Effingham, Illinois

with Oak Grove, Missouri in my sights

Just when you think I'm good to go

that's when I look under the hood

The belts all work in harmony

the fluid levels look pretty good

I step behind my catwalk quick

to mark where I just spent the night

With the universe above me

beyond the reach of the street light

Then using the 3 point method

I climb up into my cab

Either use two hands and a foot

or two feet and something to grab

I take out my Keller log book

and my clipboard for its surface

I only have 6 hours today

that's left on my hours of service

There's 70 hours they give us

and there's 8 days to spread them out

Last Saturday I went nowhere

I won't get back any amount

With roughly 315 miles

that lie between point A and B

70 is double nickel

until we get through Saint Louie

Some truckers wear their cowboy boots

when they're off rattling them padlocks

I usually go barefoot

or in a pair of Birkenstocks

I never pull out the red knob

but the yellow diamond instead

If you release your trailer brakes

they may freeze in the winter ahead

Unless your sitting in a dock

or uncoupling to dolly down

Just use your tractor brakes my friend

or you'll be starting with frown

I'm lucky this morning however

as I switch from line 4 to 3

Logged a 15 minute pre-trip

even though it took more like 20

With my left foot upon the clutch

and my right applying the brake

I push in the air supply valve

and find my gear easy as cake

The RPMs in the lower

gears start to scream right off the bat

Just pop it into neutral then

the next gear will take care of that

We're slowly building momentum

with 45,000 in the box

With my eyeballs in my mirror

and bouncing on these air ride shocks

I'm blasting through the stick shifter

just walking it up gear by gear

The instructors say, "Watch the tach"

I insist on playing by ear

Remember to steer the trailer

and take all the turns really wide

And in the dark I climb back on

the freeway going west and ride

There's a giant cross by the split

70 and south 57

There's grass and trees I can not see

that in daylight look like Heaven

The wrong way takes you to Memphis

when I have to continue west

There is a few of us out here

solar power must claim the rest

I'm sitting behind the windshield

with the reigns under my command

When I happen to spot a fence

Midwestern correctional land

Not even an hour into my drive

and its silhouette makes me think

I can truly say that this is

the closest I've come to the clink

Driving a truck and living out here

near the turn of the century

With an atlas and a Qualcomm

cell phones are a luxury

The only GPS onboard

shows the powers that be my place

It won't tell me where I'm going

it's just a way for them to trace

XM Satellite Radio

is supposed to be the next big thing

There's rabbit ears mirror mounted

to a TV I'd like to fling

Park 'N View will provide cable,

telephone and the internet

I've been playing the same mix tape

since that day I left Calumet

The broken white line to my left

and the strength of my headlight beams

A flatbed decides to pass me

tarp falling apart at the seams

All my gauges aglow in green

while the atmosphere remains black

Cross the river just after 4

Right before the rush hour attack

I could have taken the bypass

but the riverfront is a sight

I like to look at the archway

while the freeway goes to the right

I sit 3 rungs above the pavement

that my mud flaps can barely clear

The spinning of my Dayton rims

only using one hand to steer

It takes about 5 or 6 songs

for me to jet past Earth City

The chicken coup seems to be closed

No weigh station? What a pity

5:20 finds me in Warrenton

where the "J" seems to call my name

I take exit 188

and gear down to slow down the same

Double clutching is for rookies

the rest of us just float our gears

An unsynchronized transmission

means we rev up until it clears

Every time you take a pit stop

although this might sound kind of sour

Even if it's just to take a whiz

plan on losing about an hour

Between the decelerating

and turn left at the end of the ramp

We'll go across this overpass

that lie between streetlamp and streetlamp

I'm giving turn by turn directions

while the dawn finally appears

I'd tell you more - but I'm busy

climbing through all of these gears

Go down a ways and to the right

and follow the parade of trucks

And since I'm only running in

'cause I only have a few bucks

I'll park in front of the islands

and pull a quick move I call "Chris"

Now that I've pulled out my air brake

I'm gonna need to take a piss

Pardon my intermission folks

as the sky above fades to white

And the messiness of my home

that all travels with me despite

There's laundry strewn on the floorboards

and the funk of being lived in

If you look under my mattress

you'll see where I have stashed my sin

By using the 3 point method

I climb back into my cab

Either use two hands and a foot

or two feet and something to grab

I sit 3 rungs above the pavement

that my mud flaps can barely clear

The still frame of my Dayton rims

while I'm sipping off this root beer

I take out my Keller log book

and my clipboard for its surface

I have 3 and a quarter hours

that's left on my hours of service

I draw a line to 5:15

and then I mark it off duty

A lot lizard moves from truck to truck

trying to sell some of that booty

With my left foot upon the clutch

and my right applying the brake

I push in the air supply valve

and find my gear easy as cake

The RPMs in the lower

gears start to scream right off the bat

Just pop it into neutral then

the next gear will take care of that

We're slowly building momentum

with 45,000 in the box

With my eyeballs in my mirror

and bouncing on these air ride shocks

Every time you take a pit stop

if time is something you can't devour

Even if it's just to screw around

a pit stop takes about an hour

Shift my gaze toward Kingdom City

as I climb back on the freeway

Blinkers burning as gears are grabbed

like an 18 item buffet

I'm chewing on a corn dog

and palming the wheel - which is WONG

We all develop bad habits

when our training stops before long

US 40 runs under toe

I'm glad I'm not running that late

I got all the time in the world

to drive on through the 'Show Me State'

I don't deliver til Monday

and I'm setting up camp up here

It's this side of Kansas City

from Terre Haute - this load of beer

"Got a county mountie scouting

right about the 133

How does it look my direction"

came a voice across the CB

"You're looking at traffic build up

sorry I don't mean to scare

Just logging early morning miles

from the crook of my rocking chair"

"10-4, 10-4 there Rocking Chair

you're on the mic with Purple Pube

The rest of your drive looks divine"

"And yours might require some lube"

Ryder trucks make me nervous

but not over Timothy McVeigh

They're '4 wheelers' undercover

rookies that barely know their way

Give moving vans a wider birth

their drivers aren't professional

And as I clear Columbia

I might need a confessional

This turkey straddles BOTH our lanes

he's looking at a paper map

Out here driving with the big boys

with no idea how we rap

I'm 13 1/2 feet tall

and reach 8 1/2 feet wide

70 feet between bumpers

Good morning to you on my ride

Traversing this river of concrete

bearing guard rails and billboard signs

And later on when I can sleep

I'll be haunted by all these lines

There is 18 points of contact

below the clubhouse where I sit

There's smokestacks in my mirrors

and an air horn that sounds legit

My air filters big as trash cans

the jakes rattle like machine guns

Enough chrome to check your make up

but no real time between these runs

Pass by the Bobber in Boonville

where ol' Smokey looks real concerned

Ahead by the Lamine River

SWIFT went ahead and overturned

Wrecks happen on this stretch a lot

although that might sound kind of lame

The freeway through Missouri, son

Make sure you're on top of your game

The clock starts to prove my impatience

training my wagon to go west

Along a checkerboard of green

with my hair against the headrest

Hand high noon on the steering wheel

with the grill of my truck in front

Truckers move America guys

Pardon me for being so blunt

Sweet Springs begets Concordia

but Odessa's still a bridge too far

I only had 6 hours today

so I'd do something real bizarre

Run the wee hours of the morning

and stay at the truck stop up here

From Terre Haute I'm hauling

45,000 pounds of beer

Who can forget the RV Park

in Bates City with a motel

Their business sign screams CHEAP AS DIRT

They got rental units as well

FINALLY exit 28

when I was starting to lose hope

I've got 3 days growth on my face

and might have spilled the laundry soap

Rout F and H to Levasy

and perhaps there's a KOA

But the Petro Stopping Center

is where this trucker chooses to stay

A shower and some clean britches

Maybe a vacuum and Armor All

Go find a payphone and a card

and make a really long phone call

We're slowly losing momentum

with 45,000 in the box

With my eyeballs in my mirror

and bouncing on these air ride shocks

I've given mile by mile description

while the end finally appears

I'd tell you more - but I'm busy

going through all of these gears

I sit 3 rungs above the pavement

that my mud flaps can barely clear

The turning of my Dayton rims

using only one hand to steer

I take out my Keller log book

and my clipboard for its surface

I only had 6 hours today

twas left on my hours of service

There's 70 hours they give us

and there's 8 days to spread them out

Last Saturday I went nowhere

I didn't get back any amount

With roughly 315 miles

that lie between point A and B

I made it in one piece my friend

I'm real close to my consignee

I made it with time to spare

if only zero point two five

Legally I have to sit here

but I'm sure that I will survive

As far as precious real estate

this is where I'll be if you care

Right next to the Blue Beacon Wash

just sitting in my rocking chair