I had spent the last six months working at the local hospital as an aide. I could've worked in the kitchen or maintenance duty, which would have given me access to most of the hospital, but I also needed to see how it ran, the ins and outs and response time. I learned the various entrances and exits, which ones needed badge access, which ones didn't. I learned where the cameras were inside and out. I would walk the neighborhood on my lunch to learn local routes and neighboring cameras. On rainy days, I would spend my lunch in different areas of the hospital, like the lobby to observe habits and routines, while taking notes. I noticed there were only two guards on at a time, one watching cameras, one patrolling. None of them were armed or looked like they could hold a fight.
My position gave me access to most of the hospital, or at least the most important part of the hospital. The hospital had a small bank in the basement for employees. It was Friday, aka “payday”. Employees that make tens of thousands a year, and count on their bi-weekly checks, come to this bank to cash their checks on "payday". If my paycheck alone was a couple grand, I knew they had to have at least a million or so to accommodate everyone. Today was my "payday". It was opening time and the line was already full of blue and white collar workers; nurses, maintenance crew, kitchen workers etc.
I looked up, eight cameras above me, two at each entrance and exit. Only two elderly women tellers today. Never any guards unless they’re there to escort someone or cash their check. The guards aren't armed anyway. What's the point of guards, if they're not going to be armed? "Easy-peasy", I thought to myself. I was dressed in my generic blue scrubs, nothing that stood out, just another day. Max was dressed as a P.A. (physician's assistant). Sam and Jess were dressed as other staff. We strategically placed ourselves in line, knowing once the innocent bystanders were gone, it was "go-time". I watched the clock. It was always around this time one guard would be making his rounds on the top floor (5th floor, far from us) and the other guard manning the cameras usually took a long bathroom break. We stepped up to our tellers and handed over our notes. Jess went ahead and knocked out the security cameras, meanwhile Sam put a sign on the door “Technical Difficulties, Back in 5”. Both began pulling the blinds on the windows.
“No silent alarms or dye packs” I demanded while holding a pleasant smile, and flashing my gun.
As both women went to empty their drawers, Max jumped the counter grabbing the first teller by her shirt collar. “Open up ALL the drawers bitch!” he demanded.
The teller winced and whimpered, a tear escaping down her cheek. I glanced around, looking for signs of company. Nothing. While Max was escorting the first teller, I kept a close eye on the second, as she filled the bags up. We saw a silhouette of what appeared to be a worker, but when they saw the sign and everything closed up, they seemingly walked off. “90 seconds” Jess said. My adrenaline kicked in. I too hopped the counter, snatched the money from the teller and knocked her unconscious. Max followed my lead and did the same to his. He didn't quite take her out on the first try. She started to fight back, scratching at his face. He gave her a blasting blow, busting his knuckles with the impact and with a slight gasp, she went down. Before we hopped back over the counter, he looked at me and said “no witnesses”, before I could react, he put a bullet in both teller’s heads. I was worried someone would hear. "Too far", I thought, but there wasn’t much time to think or react, time to go. We each left swiftly, one after another, each one went out a different exit. The thing about hospitals is, there are so many ways to exit. It’s harder to get in then out, so to speak.
We all met up at a secret rendezvous 24-48 hours later as planned. We laid out a few rules: no major purchases, no talking to feds, no talking to each other. We split the money four ways, almost 250k each. I looked at the girls, Jess gave me the "go ahead" nod. I looked Max in the eyes, smiled briefly, pulled out my piece, and put a slug in his head. "No witnesses" I said aloud.
Max was too impulsive, too risky. We split up the rest of Max's pile. We knew the hospital had an incinerator for the bodies nobody claimed. It was a hidden secret, for "ethical reasons", and really risky to return to the scene of the crime. Jess and I had a plan. We hijacked an unoccupied ambulance from another nearby hospital. We put Max in a body bag in the ambulance. No emergency was called in, so there would be no one to greet us at the other hospital doors. We dressed as Medical Techs and Paramedics and escorted Max in on the stretcher. We announced a "DOA" (dead on arrival) and proceeded toward the morgue to be analyzed. Although it appeared security had increased since the robbery, it was still easy to sneak by in the most simple of disguises. We made a beeline to the incinerator. New problem. They made a new badge reader. I saw a nurse walking our way. I pretended to pat myself up and down.
I called to Jess "hey Ashley, have you seen my badge? Everything was so chaotic, I don't know where I put it" Jess looked at me puzzled, til she saw the nurse.
"Ugh..." Jess stumbled. "Nooo, do you think it's in the ambulance? I'm still new, I don't have access".
We now had the attention of the nurse. I have her a pity glance, pretending to look concerned, while continuing to look for an invisible badge. I saw the nurse hesitate, that was my que.
"Ma'am! Sorry to bother you, I'm Steph, one of the Med Tech's. I'm helping "Bobby and Alex" with a DOA, I think I left my badge up there. I know security is tight, but do you have access to let us in, so we can get this body to Bill?" The nurse hesitated. "I promise, I'll go straight up there to grab it, I just don't want to keep pushing a body through the hospital you know?".
The nurse sighed, "I get it, I forget my badge all the time too. With all the new security, I just didn't want to risk my job." ::beep:: The nurse tapped her badge. "Good luck! Hope your day gets better! Don't forget your badge!"
"Thanks, you really saved us!" I said with a malicious smile and entered. Bill barely looked up from his sandwich, just nodded where to put the body. Only, we didn't listen, in the incinerator he went. It was so loud, Bill didn't hear or see anything. All that was left was an empty stretcher. I gave Bill a nod and ducked out. The hall was empty. Jess and I split up, leaving out different exits, just as we did for the robbery. Calmly, as if we were workers going to break or leaving for the day.
We were just four hard working theater kids. We were good at acting, disguises, teamwork, and blending in. A heist dream team, so to speak. A dream that stayed a dream.
“Next!” I jumped, the teller snapping me out of it. I stepped forward in my nursing scrubs with my measly check, and I handed it over to the same teller I had just assaulted and robbed in my dream. Here I was, wishing I could just “win the lottery” one time.



