Pain.
The four letter word.
That's what all I feel.
The thread of trust has been broken,And the ship of my heart has been sunken.
Which gives everytime pain.
The renewal of pain
Is very much similar to the way of my heart.
Nothing has been changed,the same pain,same broken trust,same insecurities,same people.
Nothing had been changed over the time.It was always what others feel,what about me?Am I not a person?Is it that I'm not allowed to feel anything.
The happiness,emotions,happiness and most important love.
Am I not allowed to feel the love?
Its feeling,its smell.The smell of love is something for which I'm craving for.
I forgot how to feel emotions.
It's all bubbling inside me as frustration.
Frustration of not being able to get trust by people.
People who are my family.
Family which is my everything.I'm nothing without them.
But also nothing without their love.
Frustration is building and now every emotion is expressed as a storm which comes and ruin something everytime.
I wait,wait and all I do is to wait to calm the storm of my heart,my mind so that I can build a new castle of hopes which is nothing more than a hallucination.
Sometimes I live in delusion,
So that I can be assured that yes there is a thread of hope left by which I'm hanging.
I'm waiting for that trust,grandeur of affection from the people who mean everything to me.
But is it that difficult to show affection?
Is it that difficult to have a normal conversation?
Am I always responsible?
Should I always understand everything?
I'm blank.Blank by listening everytime things which shows,they don't trust me.
Or is it my fault that I'm nor able to make them understand?Is it my fault that I'm being cranky for no reason?Am I responsible for being carved into a girl which I despise too much?
But what about self-love?
People talk about self-love nowadays,but if everyone around you make you feel you are not worth it,then?
Will you be able to love yourself?
Will you be able to heal your heart by putting its pieces back in its place?