It all started the summer before Freshman year. I had not yet understood who my friends where, who I could trust, who was fake, and who wasn't, there was one specific girl I had kind of grown up with, her name was Kyia. She has once dated this boy Miguel. Now, Miguel was someone I had liked from the beginning of 8th grade, but once Kyia started dating him, i decided nothing could ever happen between us. Kyia and Miguel had only lasted for a month, kyia seemed to be embarrassed of Miguel, she didn't want many people to know of their relationship, she kept it quite private. Eventually they broke up, a few more months went by, me and Miguel had shared a good friendship for a while, we had some of the same classes so it made us easily bond when it came to completing assignments. By the time school had ended, me and Miguel where quite close, I figured once summer got started, me and him would probably drift apart, and no longer have a friendship, but we managed to keep our conversations going, until they started turning into FaceTime's with some of my friends, and eventually they became FaceTime's with just us. Slowly it became ore than a friendship, he had finally asked me to be more than friends, but i felt i would be best checking with Kyia first, I had written her a whole paragraph about how I had really liked him, and how I would be okay with it if she didn't want me to date him, but she had told me she barley even counted it, and she didn't even remember how long they dated, so I then went and talked to my family, because I had in fact never been in a relationship before. My parents agreed, and our relationship began. Our first dte was at my house, we rode four wheelers, it was wonderful, my mom and brother had also wanted to ride, so I rode on the back with Miguel, my arms around him, we had a great time. Our relationship only got better, we became comfortable with each other, we hang out at least once a week. My family loved him a lot, he was the sweetest. I felt we where perfect, meant to last, then things started going down hill once school started. Miguel had been embarrassed of me, I was around the same height as him, maybe a small bit taller, and people lauphed at him for that. We where both about 6'. It hurt me that my whole mood each day depended on if he felt like looking at me or not. We started arguing about that constantly, eventually we started sharing small smiles every very once in a while, but it still hurt that i was lucky to even get a smile. We started having consistent arguments, we usually always overcame them, and continued to love eachother, because we both understood arguing was a common thing in relationships. He had joined a sport for the first time, which was soccer, He had started taking everything out on me, if soccer had gone bad, which it usually did, he would act upset towards me, and act like I had done something wrong. Eventually, I stopped wanting to facetime him after practices and games. Eventually, things started getting worse, and worse, he started getting upset at me constantly, and he would walk his girl best friend, named Ava, all around the school, and to her classes, but never even smiled at me. I couldn't take the hurt, and I had basketball season coming up, so i broke up with him. We ended on not good terms, but also not really bad terms, A couple of days later, a girl texted me, telling me that her boyfriend and Miguel had want on a "two-man" with 2 other girls while me and him where still together. That hurt, I messaged him, asking if it was true, after everything me and my family had done for him, my dad had bought some of his soccer stuff, my family had created a better, welcoming home for him, and he cheated on me. He laughed about it, and we started insulting eachother, talking harshly of one another's insecurities. We stopped talking for a while, I had moved on, and started dating a the son of my mom's bestfriend. He lived about 25 minutes away, in another town, but we had hung out a couple of times. He quickly fell inlove, saying I love you to me very quickly, he was just rushing things insanley fast, i felt overwelmed, but I went with it. Then I got a text from a girl, telling me that Miguel wanted me back, that he felt terrible for what he did, that he missed me, and ended things with the girl he cheated on em with because he missed her, I don't know why, but I fell into the trap, I broke up with the boy I was with, telling him he was rushing it, and I needed to focus on more important things, then started talking to Miguel. We talked over evrything that had happened, appologized for our mistakes, and later that night, we facetimed to have a heart to heart over what had happened. Miguel and me connected just like before, but my family hated him for what he did, I kew they wouldn't approve, but me and him proceeded to talk anyways, and evntually called it official. For some reason, thinsg felt different this time thought, instead of me being obsessed with him, it was the other way around, he seemed a whole other level of crazy about me, and for some reason, I just couldn't feel the same amount of obsession, and love I had originally felt with him. I still felt love for him though, I started to do things that I would have never thought of, I just wanted to give him a reason to never leave, or cheat on me again, I just wanted him to truly appreciate, and value me. I did some things that went against my self respect, and my morales. At the time I felt nothing wrong with doing it, because I truly believed I loved him, we went on with not telling my family about us for a couple of months, but this time, Miguel had still seemed slightly embarrassed of me, and while we where broken up, he had started getting closer with his girl best friend, and obviously it kind of upset me, but I accepted it. We eventuallt starteed arguning, I till I just lost it, and started bossing him around, which I never realized I needed to do, but as soon as I did he listened, he started changing his hall way route to walk with me, he started walking me to my locker, it was wonderfull, but I still felt upset that we couldn't hang out, so I started telling my parents that we where "talking" again as "friends". My parents believed it, things where going fine. Then, one day, everything was ruined in just a couple of hours. Miguel had earlier written me a note that had said some, not so good things, so I felt like he would be upset If i ddin't write omne back, so I started to write one, then I saw I had to go to practice, but I had left my phone and the note lying right on top of my bed, when I got out of practice, but dad angrily pulled right up to me, his face steaming. He toild me to get into the truck and said as soon as we get home I'd better go sit straight on the couch. I sat there, while my parents told me they found out about everything. Then they brought up a message where Miguel had stated that my parents where not the greatest parents, and for some reason, blinded by the love and attention, I didn't stand up for them, Besides from that, they found out about all the self disrespecting things I had done for him. They took my phone, and I let out a sob story, telling them that I had only done it to make him happy, which was true, but I had told them I was really sorry, and I told them how bad I felt. A day went by, and for some reason I just needed to talk to him, thats when I found my ipad, so I started talking to him on it, then the next day, my parents found it. I made up a story to my dad that I hadn't really actually used it, and it had just been sitting in my room for a while, he forgot about it, and left it in his truck. The next day, I stupidly took my mom's ipad, I took it to school with me, because i kenw I would be home before she was. I put it back everyday after school for the first couple days, then on the third day, I took it upstairs with me, and my mo. found it. My parents yelled at me, but i just sat there, zoning everyhting out, staring at the wall, while my dad took my door, and my alexa, and left me there, telling me if I wanted to choose him over the family then thats my own choice, but that he could never care about me, and provide for me like they did, my mom slapped me, which she had never done, so that was definitely a surprise, I started emailing him on my school computer, at first I talked to him like normal, until I finally realized there was no point in trying to force something impossible, I ended things with him, and stopped trying to find things to talk to him, I stopped putting all me extra late nights, and time towards making him happy. He started sitting with his girl best friend, and calling her, and doping everything with her, besically replacing me, he kept involving me in drama, he kept texting me, he kept getting upset at me for simply smiling, telling me I seemed like I didn't care about us breaking up, so i started to write a whole paragrpah telling him that we could be friends, but he then said "We're not the same so i don't judge you for not being able to sacrafice alot like I do and that's okay". I immediatley deleted the paragrpah, and I got really upset, I had given up my door, my phone, my alexa, I almost had to quit my job, and most importantly, almost every last ounce of trust I had left with my parents. I stopped talking to him, and threw myself into basketball, but he kept texting me, pleading me to not give up on us, then he started doing things he knew I never liked, then lied about it, so I blocked him, he started texting me, so I told him he'd be fine because he now had Ava, but that upset, he kept texting but I left him on read, he had texted me twice in the last 30 minutes, here I am, writing out everything that had happened, his messages left on read, because if there is one thing i have learned from this relationship, family will always be there for you, they would never go and choose someone over you, they will always love you, no matetr the circumstance, unlike some people, so i finally learned to stop caring about him, and everyone else who had something to say about me, I grew, but he stayed immature, and that's understandable, he never seemed like he was the type to grow up anyways.
