My alarm ticked for five minutes before I finally woke up. I rubbed my eyes, my first thought was to snooze the alarm for another five minutes but I would be late for my classes. I pulled my blanket to my face and groaned in frustration, and hauled myself up from the bed. I felt weak and wobbly but that was because I had just woken up from my peaceful slumber.
' Tara wake up, u'll be late!!' mom called
'I am up!'.
I moved towards the kitchen to drink some water,when again my mom stomped towards my room ' wake up its 7:30!!!' it was just 7:00.
But anyways I was already awake and standing right in front of her. But she marched right past me, as if i wasn't there, into my room. I was about to call out to her when........I saw myself still lying on the bed.
I was dumbstruck. Mom was jerking the self on the bed, I called her but she didn't hear....she couldn't hear !!!! She was terrified, so was I.
Teary eyed she continued to wake me up. I tried to grab her but my hand just passed through her! I was shocked. Earth slipped beneath my feet. What was happening??
It was noon. My house has become a temple of grief.
After my seventeen years of life on this earth, my elder sister became sisterless and my parents had a single child. Sis was in her room still unable to digest the truth, my mom was traumatised.
To me, everything felt surreal. I had become an invisible and inaudible entity that could pass through everything. I was a ghost! My entire life I had tried my best, behaved my best, studied the dreadful stuff with focusand, scored as good as I could; only to keep my parents happy and proud, and here they were today, crying and mourning because of me. I was so overwhelmed. At times during my frustrating exams I had thought that I wanted to die, but today I saw that dying is worse than studying, not for me but for the ones who lived for me.
My beloved aunt came on the door and breathing heavily, she wasn't ready to bear the shock so early, she cared for me so much, even more than my sister. Her toddler daughter, unaware of the tragidies of the world, just played around happily, full of energy and life. I wanted to hold her in my arms but I couldn't. My death was much more miserable for myself than for others.
My phone beeped, "why didn't u come today??? Should've told me at least!!! " With a bunch of emojies, was the message of my best friend, Sakhi. My abstract heart felt heavier than ever.
Sis replied to her, with her fingers trembling and eyes watering " sorry Sakhi, she would never come again!" Within a minute the phone rang and my sister gave her the heart attack ' w-what?? This is a prank, right?! This is not real, this can't be real!' sakhi choked ' I wish it were a prank.' sister broke down.
In another hour, my house was full of people, mourning, crying and broken; and it was all my fault. If I had woken up today in the morning, as I usually did, the environment would have been a lot different. Sakhi reached here in ten minutes. She was so dashed scared. She wanted it all to be false, a nightmare, but...
She entered the house and looked around, even more terrified. She was aghast and was breathing so heavily, as if she had come running all the way here. She sat beside my body, and just stared into oblivion. A hundred memories flashed into her mind. She then quietly came to my room and took out our journal from my drawer,and started reading it. Her mind was crying and her heart refused to accept the fact.i had always seen her smile brightly, today she sat in front of me, helplessly crying.
Her phone rang, she looked at it and frozen. She couldn't dare pick it up. How would she tell what had happened? But neither could she not attend it. She had to tell him. Her shaking fingers clicked the green button. ' Hey Sakhi! Did you talk to Tara, I was thinking if we could meet at some cafe to discuss that project...' Sakhi was crying ' ...U crying‽ What's wrong? Is Tara fine? ' his voice was noticably scared ' no she's not. She never will be!!' she cried.
It was Saket, he had been our friend since last three years. I go pretty well with him. We nearly have same interests and I find him funny. Since last few months Sakhi had been desperately trying to convince me that I was in love with him. She told him everything. There was complete silence on the other side as she weeped unceasingly. Even though I had constantly been denying sakhi, I was terribly scared now. I felt so guilty for everything. Saket reached the door, wincing and fell on his knees. His eyes didn't cry but I knew his heart was wailing. Behind him was Arjun,his childhood friend and Sakhi's boyfriend.He was managing to controll Saket and Sakhi at the same time, while controlling his own self to not break down.
I was the most grief strickken person in my house. My lovely friends, who had always made me laugh,were crying for me. My best friend, who had always been my support, my comfort; was in trauma and I couldn't wipe her tears! I wanted to scream and tell them how much I loved them.
Finally the rituals were being performed. Saket was there but he wasn't, he was lost in his thoughts. After the holy fire died, when he was about to leave, just for once, he turned back and whispered " you'd be the sweetest memory I'll ever have. I love you!" My non existing heart was bleeding. He turned around and walked away. I hugged him from behind and screamed ' I love you too!!' I knew he hadn't heard but I knew he felt. I wish he'd said that sooner, maybe we could have got a little more time.
I realised that I was vanishing, bit by bit. I knew I had to leave this world. For one last time, i looked at my people and told loudly to them " thank you for being there in my little life and making it worth living!' I knew they had heard. I gave them one last smile and then i dissappeared, forever.
