19th July, 2025: Saturday
You know what? If Shadows could even function by themselves, the first thing they would do is getting out from the Walls. I mean, how they must feel being flat throughout, being just a blackish movement of someone who can move by themselves! Peak differentiation. It's all about how people perceive it though. I don't know about people (definately not a mind reader), but I'm currently having some perspectives; like shadows' presence are less due to science & more for having your back, or they just belong to show people are bound to have darkness in themselves, more or less. Never specific though, because even if I do have a shadow, I can never be the one! All I can do is imagine.
26th July, 2025: Saturday
Okay, so the paragraph you see above was around 7 days back, which I wrote as I having some random thoughts looking at my own shadows through a candle when my room's light was cut off. I am quite sure that some manifestation portal was active that only work on taking negatives as the opposite; and took my "can never be the one" to "let me help you!" I can't believe myself writing this, but also cannot leave it until my memory crashes down about all that I have experienced. Letting my memory do the rest and help you read.
7 days ago, a Saturday night, current gone for an hour, thoughts written, light showed up, had dinner & slept. I live alone in a rented house, and when I say house, you are right about the first thing imagined. A big fat old house of 3 storeys, & I only come here for 3 months in a year to work on my hobby; Documentary. So, as I was at the peak stage of sleep with zero dreams, I suddenly felt opening my eyes. Lights were off, and only a night lamp was burning. But what took my mind off was the prominancy of a shadow, probably mine, but I have never seen it so prominent at night. Just to conquer my fear, I started moving & got up, went towards it to touch the wall where the shadow reflected. And lord, as soon as I did, I was pulled back towards the wall, and maybe it was in exchange of my shadow, which came out. The situation to be described was "the original became copied and the copied, original." I was scared till my throat, because brain was yet to get in the present situation. When I finally came to my senses a little, the first thing I wanted to see was how I look, & yes, I do looked like a shadow. Soon, I realized that I do have some inner voices, and lack the external one. When I looked up towards the wall, the strangest thing I saw was that the "original shadow", who is now out there as mentioned, was not really in a human form, but held around in an axis of aura of different colours. It was like that of glowing colourful threads without a base, & soon I understand that I'm supposed to guard that aura to avoid misalignment. As soon as the dope me went to sleep, I was down on the bed, barely surviving. I tried to detach myself from the body, and realised that was impossible. At certain point, I felt trapped. There was nothing I could do, and my fear was off limit. I felt the lightest, flat, though it was not suffocating as I had imagined it to be. The only thing I did was screaming, that didn't reach no one.
The next morning, I was free, and in daylight, I could go wherever I wanted to. The first thing I did was searching for another shadow, or someone who could atleast understand me. I did went to the shadow of my cook, but he never spoke. I reached few more, both known and unknown, but they never uttered anything for me to hear. Time was passing for me to get trapped again, & I thought of running away. You know where I went? To my home. It was mid morning, and whole house was empty. I wanted to cry out loud, ask for someone to help me in my own home, but everything was in vain. There were no one who could really understand me, nor someone whom I could talk with. There were absolutely no difference between me and my shadow, because I do feel the same most of my time in my daily lives. I never really wanted to live longer, but all I could do was to wait for the death to take me.
I started to roam around the house, going from here to there, this room to that room, when suddenly I heard a voice telling, "I'll always love you the way you are, I do know that you are trapped, but this will be the largest strength of your life." I turned back, to see the shadow of my maa, that melted everything inside me. I bursted out, running towards her, hugging her like I used to when I was small enough to be manhandled. I could see her after so long! That was the turnover for me though which, at this point thinking of, I never wanted to. Because while I hugged my maa with contentment, I saw a big cloudy apperance taking me, and after that all I remember is I was suddenly on my bed of the rented house. I could have said everything was a dream, but then I saw the date and time, and it was Sunday, 3:17 PM. I somehow found my existence.
This incident has shaken my mind really bad, because currently I'm working on making a documentary about this, while parallelly doing a research on shadows. My mother left this world 10 years ago, but it seems that shadows really never leave. They can talk, but nobody can hear them. They can escape for a limited time, but can never really escape. It's more of like they are representing us and taking stand as well, telling, " you are not the only one going unheard, I have your back." Who would ever knew, that darkness always brings light to people like this. Alas! I miss my maa now…!
