When you don't understand why God hates you so much for giving you a negligent parent who never cares for anything you would swear she is not my mom. Is she really my mom?
Mom left again this morning; she left me with her scary boyfriend, whom I am supposed to call father. His looks frighten me I no longer feel safe in this house. I peep on the door in my bedroom to see if he's in the living room so I can go and make myself something to eat. This man has gotten too comfortable in this house he thinks it's his. He speaks for everything and forever complains. I have never hated anyone with such passion in my life. I can't stand his sight. I open the door slowly and go straight to the kitchen at a fast pace. I want to make sure that I quickly make some food and go straight to the kitchen.
As I step one foot out of the living room, I sit, my eyes on my right, and see him standing in the bathroom, and the door is wide open. He is naked, looking in my direction with a creepy smile. I quickly ran back to my bedroom and locked the door. My heart is pounding I can't believe what my eyes saw. I don't know if it was a dream. I sit down, wondering and asking questions about what just happened. As I am sitting in the bed, I hear a know, and a voice follows after. It's the stepfather Mavusana. You should wake up and make some tea, and a girl doesn't sleep till this late, he says. Why don't you make your own tea I ask. He responds do what I told you or I am going to tell your mom you don't respect me.
I opened the door to go to the kitchen to do as he asked. I make his tea and take it to the sitting room. I find him sitting down on the sofa watching soccer. What time is it he asks as I approach him to give him tea. 12 o'clock, I respond. Is this the time to wake up? I keep quiet ignoring his question. I give him his tea. As I take a step back to my room, he asks how old are you? I am 16 oohh you are 16? Yes, I respond. You look pretty just like your mom. You are curious. I say thanks with a puzzling face. What is this man saying to me? I go straight to my bedroom again and throw myself to my bed. I take a little sudden nap. As I am in my deep sleep I feel someone touching my thighs. I jumped out of bed, thinking it was a snake.
Screaming loudly, he tries to catch me and close my mouth. Luckily, I am strong enough to push him away. I will tell my mom what I say to him. He suddenly laughs and asks me who will your mom believe between me and you? I stutter. My eyes moved all over the room, looking for something I could use to beat him. I am shaking, my heart starts pounding again. I am losing air. My eyes lend on a bottle I use as a candle stand. I quickly took it and hit them in his head; I don't know how and when I moved from the bedroom to the outside. I have never run like that in my life. I saw myself entering my grandmother's house far away from my mom's. This is a Township. It is easier to track as there are houses on every corner. I wasn't thinking straight. Questioning my existence and God's love for me. My grandmother runs towards me to welcome me. I don't know how she saw that I wasn't OK. She took me in, gave me water to drink and let me burst out in tears as I felt safe in her hands. I cried a lot. Without saying anything, she let me.
I slept in my grandmother's place, and my mom never bothered to check on me. I wonder what that man told her. She loves that man so blindly that she has neglected me. I can't be mad. She has never shown me love in the beginner bit. It has gotten worse ever since that man came. Thandi!! you're awake? My grandmother asks as she comes with porridge to the guest room. She sits down beside me
holds my hand firmly and smiles. Mom didn't call you? I ask. No, who would she call? I remember that my grandmother is not on good terms with each other because of the life she is living.
Days passed without me saying anything. I was ashamed of speaking up but my grandmother could see that I was not ok. My moms silence bothered me. Until one day I decided to tell my grandmother the truth and told her what happened. She took me to the police station to open a case against my stepfather. Unfortunately, I did not get justice. As you know, the police wanted evidence and witnesses, and I had none. I was in fear that he would come for me. My mom never spoke to me nor tried to check up. I was happy with my grandmother she tried by all means to support me.
A year passed, and I was doing just fine in varsity. I received an unexpected call from my mother telling me how much she missed me. She should have been a good mother to me. Now that her mighty boyfriend was killed by the mob for raping our neighbour's 4-year-old child. I switched off my phone and continued on with my life.
