It's raining as Varun drives towards the small town, the small cozy comforting town which he visited about fifteen years ago. Varun last visited his maternal grandparents' house when he was fourteen years old. Now after a long time after many changes in his life, he was on his way to this town. In this gap, his parents' were divorced, he spent the majority of his time with his father because his mother had left the nation to follow her passion, 12 years back.
Just two days before he took this trip, his mother had called him to invite him to her parents' - oh, yeah - 60th wedding anniversary, he couldn't say no for this event for some strange reason. As some weird desire or interest to visit this had pushed him to take this trip. He had made this plan by forcing himself to take time off from his busy freelance career, which he was pursuing with his partner Anshuman, whom he had met in Bangalore during the Pride Month celebration following Section 377 decriminalization. After their meeting, everything had swiftly changed, Varun & Anshuman were now living together in Mumbai, nurturing their 3 years of continued relationship.
Now, he is on his way back to the town, near Pune, where he first developed a strong romantic interest and made love to someone towards whom had developed crush in no time, during his teenage. About fifteen years ago. Yes, the same weather that he drove through on his way to see his mother and grandparents brought back fond memories, the beautiful memories which he had experienced when he was just 14 years old, which mainly included his first passionate romantic encounter in the city of his grandparents. Romantic music was blasting from his dashboard speakers, and the peaceful road and cozy weather, had brought good vibes, which he was experiencing after a long time.
Fifteen years back, when he was about meet his secret lover, whom he had met ten days earlier at the nearby central library - the closest location to his grandparents - Varun sent his Maama (maternal uncle) ahead who was walking him to the railway station to drop him off to board a train back to Bangalore. His father call to his mom, last night, had brought quick halt to his ongoing vacation at his grandparents place, as he had commanded to send back Varun, the following day itself.
Varun, a voracious reader, who had come for a two-month vacation after his 10th board exams, was denied entry at the central library 10 days back when he had come for the first time because he did not have a valid local id. Chandra, a tall, dusky college going youthful person in side-fade haircut, with beautiful facial features, who also appeared overly studious with a clean-shaven face accentuated by a decent circular eye frame had come to his rescue. In no time, Varun & Chandra had become close friends, infact, in less than couple of hours they were more than just a close friends , who started practically meeting every day after lunch in the following days, when Chandra would visit the library following his college.
Following their usual amount of time spent at the library, Varun invited Chandra to join him for coffee at the end of the second day. As they made their way to the coffee shop on Chandra's scooter, Varun couldn't help but hold Chandra for the first time from behind. He cautiously inquired as to whether Chandra was okay with it, conveying that he was afraid of falling. Chandra had concurred without much hesitation. Moreover, Chandra had also tapped Varun's hand to reassure him that he was comfortable, on top of it he had rubbed his hands on Varun's hands as if giving a strange hint. Chandra was also experiencing the same level of hidden interest cum anxiety that Varun also had, since the last day from the moment they met for the first time. Varun was smiling behind Chandra's back as he imagined what it would be like to make love to Chandra's lips. As he had, up until now, only imagined it from watching movies, doing so imagining his favourite heroes. And never dreamed of having the chance to do it in real, with his own gendered person, which was the only attraction he had felt since entering his adolescent years.
Third day, he had made up his mind to ask Chandra whether they could experience making out, with no inhibitions, they were atleast that close now, or wait they weren't yet, as they never spoke about sex, but had lightly for short time had spoken about some movies and the romance scenes and had both blushed while talking about it. Even though it was too early, Varun couldn't help himself today, the third day, because he had no idea when his father would call Varun's Mom to tell them to head back to Bangalore. He & his mother had travelled to the town of his maternal grandparents not only because it was summer vacation, but also because of a fight between his parents that had brought them there. He arrived at the library an hour early and continued to wait for Chandra. Upon Chandra's arrival, he observed Varun was agitated & inquired whether he was okay.
Varun then indicated without hesitation that they should proceed to the far end of the library so that he could speak with him in privacy. After Chandra gave his OK, the two of them moved to a corner where no one could see them unless they had to walk past 14 rack aisles. With an anxious expression, Varun told Chandra that, for some strange reason he was having weird feeling towards Chandra, conveying him that Varun found him too good-looking and has been thinking about their first kiss from last two days. Lifting Varun's face, Chandra said, "Let's do it.", the very statement had brough Varun sudden rush of excitement, and had blocked all his inhibitions.
After suppressing their emotions for nearly two & half days, two of them who had harboured feelings for one another since their first meeting, now had their lips locked. They stayed in each other's mouths for over few minutes, the warmth of their tongues filling each other, until they heard footsteps approaching their aisle. They grinned at one another and swiftly released their hold on one another, and began to slowly make their way over to the table where they had been seated earlier. After having their seats, Chandra asked, " Was it nice?" Varun nodded shyly in response, then wrote a thank you note on a piece of paper he had on the table and showed it to Chandra.
Anshuman's call took Varun back to the present, he continued driving by answering the call on speaker mode. After talking for ten minutes, he concluded call with their customary couple rituals that they had been following for the previous two years, during which Varun gave Anshuman an update on his current whereabouts and reminded him to take his medication on time because it was lunchtime. However, Anushuman's final query before the end of their conversation, "Will you be driving to that library area?" made him a little uneasy. Anshuman also had added, conveying, "Please avoid if you can."
A year before the section 377 ruling, Varun had come out to his entire family and circle of friends after leaving his father's home. His mother, his paternal grandparents, and his Maama were all very supportive of his choice. Just two days after Varun had come out to his mom, she had flown to India, and the two of them had a sort of celebration in Pune. She had asked her brother to bring her parents so that Varun would feel more at ease, especially since he had spoken to her his heart out, with no inhibitions, trusting her, despite their distance from one another and his infrequent encounters with his mother and his maternal grandparents, who had loved him without conditions since he was a small child.
Additionally, a month after Varun's coming out story caused some stir on Facebook, more friend requests started to flood in, while looking at the list of new friends request he also came across Chandra's Facebook profile and noticed that he had sent a friend request too. Though he accepted the request, due to his busy lifestyle, work, evening additional coaching classes, gym, etc?, he never had time or the opportunity to catch up with Chandra over a conversation, whenever either of them were online. Chandra used to interact with Varun's posts, but never responded to Varun texts, that were sent to him seldomly in attempt to have a conversation. Varun also had read & interacted with the occasional heartfelt & romantic posts that Chandra used to update on his account. And after a little while, Varun realised that his timeline no longer showed posts from Chandra which were very frequent for quite a sometime.
Initially he paid little to no attention. But eventually Varun's curiosity got the better of him, and one day he spoke with his maternal uncle (Maama), whose friend was Chandra's father, and inquired about Chandra. However, as soon as he heard the news, he started throwing up and his mouth dried, causing tears to well up in his eyes. It felt like the world had stopped for him for few seconds, and spent weeks depressed, thinking about Chandra's situation and the news he had received from his Maama, who had ended up the call conveying, "Not everyone are as lucky as you are beta!"
Varun had to stop and take a break from driving because his past thoughts were constantly flashing.
He felt as though he wouldn't be able to continue without stopping for a smoke break, even though his destination was just 55 kilometres away. He was going to stop his vehicle and...
As soon as Varun opened his eyes, he saw the faces he had wanted to see for a lifetime, until the end of his life; it was as though his greatest dreams had been brought to life. He felt all of his loved ones there, supporting him unconditionally: his parents, grandparents, best friends, favourite cousins, mentors, and especially Ayushman, who stood firmly by his side, holding his hand. His mother was being held firmly by his Maama. The room was now filled with collective emotions and a great relief in everyone's heart.