When I Turned 40
On my 40th birthday, I cried.
My mother called to wish me a happy birthday. The moment I heard her voice, I broke down. I wasn't crying from joy - I was crying from fear. I thought I was behind. Life had moved forward, and I wasn't sure I had kept up. I questioned my journey. I questioned my pace.
But now, as I look back, I see something different. I see growth. I see resilience. I see a woman who has everything she ever needed - shaped by grace, strengthened by experience, and supported by a village of people and moments that matter.
Born of Lineage, Raised by Purpose
I was born to an administrator and a teacher - the first of six siblings. As the eldest daughter, I carried the weight of expectations. I was raised to be "marriageable material." At 25, I married.
I remember the first time I met my father-in-law. He lifted me up and said, "I will find you a husband." And he did.
Looking back, I realize I never truly knew my first love. Life took us in different directions. Thirty years later, he found me again - and only then did I understand how deeply I had cherished him, even in his absence.
The Early Years: School, Silence, and Strength
My childhood education took me through Prestea Goldfields, Tarkwa Goldfields, and KNUST Primary. I was a bright child, taking the Common Entrance exam in Class 5. I later attended St. Louis Secondary School, where I was quiet, observant - always watching, always learning.
At the University of Cape Coast (UCC), I pursued a Bachelor of Education in Psychology and Economics. In my third year, I got married and had my first child. While others enjoyed the freedom of student life, I juggled lectures, motherhood, and marriage. It was overwhelming - but I endured.
Building a Career, Shaping a Life
My first job took me to Accra, where I worked for four years and traveled across West Africa - The Gambia, Guinea, C�te d'Ivoire, and Togo. It was exciting, but I missed my husband and our two young sons. Eventually, I chose family and returned home.
During that season, I befriended a woman I admired - a single mother raising four daughters. She became a confidante. When a man showed interest in me, I redirected him to her. Years later, he told me she had said untrue things about me - things that drove him away. It took five years for him to learn the truth.
When I confronted her, she simply said, "I'm sorry." That experience taught me: not all wounds come with explanations. But healing often begins with the courage to seek the truth.
Ironically, years later, I visited her in Florida - with my husband. Life has a strange way of bringing closure.
Finding My Voice in Academia
In 2006, I officially joined the University of Cape Coast, starting at the School of Graduate Studies. I was fortunate to work with a boss who believed in me.
Later, at the Centre for Gender Research, Advocacy, and Documentation (CEGRAD), my passion for gender equity deepened. That journey led me to the Institute for Educational Planning and Administration (IEPA).
IEPA transformed my life. I gained exposure no amount of money could buy - representing Ghana in the UK, US, Germany, France, South Korea, and Dubai. Every trip taught me something new - not just about the world, but about myself. I saw myself clearly: a modern African woman navigating global spaces while staying grounded in her roots.
I also served at Oguaa Hall, where I built meaningful connections with students and staff. Each role I held was more than a title - it was a stepping stone in my becoming.
Lessons in Love and Loss
Not every chapter has been easy.
I once encountered a narcissist who pursued me persistently, even knowing I was married. His attention was confusing and exhausting - a lesson in emotional boundaries.
I also fell in love with a married man. Letting him go remains one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I knew it was right.
Then there was a humbling moment - when someone offered me a lift, and I realized I had forgotten to buy fuel for my own car. I turned red with embarrassment. That day reminded me: humility often hides in life's small stumbles.
Amidst it all, I gained a sister for life - a school friend who has become family. These relationships anchor me.
Reflections from the Stool
Through tradition and transformation, education and endurance, betrayal and redemption, I have become a woman grounded in both heritage and hope.
I am a daughter of the stool - rooted in culture, shaped by responsibility, and called to serve.
I am a woman of resilience - forged in hardship, softened by love.
I am a leader - not because I chased power, but because I chose purpose.
Today, I no longer fear being behind. I honor the journey. I honor the becoming.
I walk forward - with grace, with gratitude, and with pride.
And always, I carry with me the love and unwavering support of my children, my family, and my husband - without whom I could not have come this far.
On my 40th birthday, I cried.
My mother called to wish me a happy birthday. The moment I heard her voice, I broke down. I wasn't crying from joy - I was crying from fear. I thought I was behind. Life had moved forward, and I wasn't sure I had kept up. I questioned my journey. I questioned my pace.
But now, as I look back, I see something different. I see growth. I see resilience. I see a woman who has everything she ever needed - shaped by grace, strengthened by experience, and supported by a village of people and moments that matter.
Born of Lineage, Raised by Purpose
I was born to an administrator and a teacher - the first of six siblings. As the eldest daughter, I carried the weight of expectations. I was raised to be "marriageable material." At 25, I married.
I remember the first time I met my father-in-law. He lifted me up and said, "I will find you a husband." And he did.
Looking back, I realize I never truly knew my first love. Life took us in different directions. Thirty years later, he found me again - and only then did I understand how deeply I had cherished him, even in his absence.
The Early Years: School, Silence, and Strength
My childhood education took me through Prestea Goldfields, Tarkwa Goldfields, and KNUST Primary. I was a bright child, taking the Common Entrance exam in Class 5. I later attended St. Louis Secondary School, where I was quiet, observant - always watching, always learning.
At the University of Cape Coast (UCC), I pursued a Bachelor of Education in Psychology and Economics. In my third year, I got married and had my first child. While others enjoyed the freedom of student life, I juggled lectures, motherhood, and marriage. It was overwhelming - but I endured.
Building a Career, Shaping a Life
My first job took me to Accra, where I worked for four years and traveled across West Africa - The Gambia, Guinea, C�te d'Ivoire, and Togo. It was exciting, but I missed my husband and our two young sons. Eventually, I chose family and returned home.
During that season, I befriended a woman I admired - a single mother raising four daughters. She became a confidante. When a man showed interest in me, I redirected him to her. Years later, he told me she had said untrue things about me - things that drove him away. It took five years for him to learn the truth.
When I confronted her, she simply said, "I'm sorry." That experience taught me: not all wounds come with explanations. But healing often begins with the courage to seek the truth.
Ironically, years later, I visited her in Florida - with my husband. Life has a strange way of bringing closure.
Finding My Voice in Academia
In 2006, I officially joined the University of Cape Coast, starting at the School of Graduate Studies. I was fortunate to work with a boss who believed in me.
Later, at the Centre for Gender Research, Advocacy, and Documentation (CEGRAD), my passion for gender equity deepened. That journey led me to the Institute for Educational Planning and Administration (IEPA).
IEPA transformed my life. I gained exposure no amount of money could buy - representing Ghana in the UK, US, Germany, France, South Korea, and Dubai. Every trip taught me something new - not just about the world, but about myself. I saw myself clearly: a modern African woman navigating global spaces while staying grounded in her roots.
I also served at Oguaa Hall, where I built meaningful connections with students and staff. Each role I held was more than a title - it was a stepping stone in my becoming.
Lessons in Love and Loss
Not every chapter has been easy.
I once encountered a narcissist who pursued me persistently, even knowing I was married. His attention was confusing and exhausting - a lesson in emotional boundaries.
I also fell in love with a married man. Letting him go remains one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I knew it was right.
Then there was a humbling moment - when someone offered me a lift, and I realized I had forgotten to buy fuel for my own car. I turned red with embarrassment. That day reminded me: humility often hides in life's small stumbles.
Amidst it all, I gained a sister for life - a school friend who has become family. These relationships anchor me.
Reflections from the Stool
Through tradition and transformation, education and endurance, betrayal and redemption, I have become a woman grounded in both heritage and hope.
I am a daughter of the stool - rooted in culture, shaped by responsibility, and called to serve.
I am a woman of resilience - forged in hardship, softened by love.
I am a leader - not because I chased power, but because I chose purpose.
Today, I no longer fear being behind. I honor the journey. I honor the becoming.
I walk forward - with grace, with gratitude, and with pride.
And always, I carry with me the love and unwavering support of my children, my family, and my husband - without whom I could not have come this far.
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