Unmade bed. Hastily curled-up jumpers. Half-eaten toast. Vidhisha is at it again! That girl can't keep a straight face and a clean room whenever she has a presentation due in the office. Though her inherent callousness and uncanny ability to ransack a tidy room have always been a cause of worry for me, her perfect grades in school and college, her insatiable appetite for debate competitions, and her incessant obsession with outperforming herself in every job interview rectified all her belligerent shortcomings! She was a powerhouse of talent and resilience, and I admired her no-nonsense attitude in college.
The only man who saw her vulnerable was Pranav. Vidhisha's Pranav! The soft-spoken, bright, and brown-eyed Pranav, the boy who made her laugh like an excited toddler and blush as if every sonnet in the world was composed only for her. When she was with him, she was free from the shackles of her father's obsessive control. Her father was a well-respected man in the society. She loved him, but she couldn't respect him!
I still remember the day vividly, when she cleared the final round of the campus placement. She was selected into her dream company with a very good pay grade. Her joy knew no bounds when Pranav proposed to her the very same day. She couldn't wait to begin her life! She told me all about her plans and promised to keep it a secret till her parents approved, and I kept my promise like a true chum.
My thoughts are suddenly interrupted by the sound of a teapot on the burning stove. It's 5 in the evening, and I haven't finished cleaning up the mess Vidhisha left behind before leaving for the office! I also have to prepare dinner for my husband. I hope Vidhisha's presentation was approved by her colleagues and boss! I'm not questioning her talent, obviously! She was born to do wonders! I straighten the sheets on the bed, fold the jumper neatly, and throw away the half-eaten toast. My husband, Girish, will be home soon, and I don't want to upset him. Honestly, since we got married, Girish has never been happy with my conduct. To begin with, I was forced to marry him, and he didn't see me beyond the shackles of a dutiful wife. I was a machine for him, probably! A machine that cooked, cleaned, and washed.
'This is NOT what your gender is supposed to do,' thundered Vidhisha's dad when she asked him to join the job she has been selected for. I remember how she wallowed in tears and withered in pain when she left her father's prison to follow her heart. He threatened to kill himself if she married Pranav. Pranav was from a different caste and status, according to her father, but she didn't flinch! She left her father's house, never to return again. I wish I had her courage and strength. I wish I could run away to some place far away from my husband's tyranny and my own father's indifference! When Girish beats me to a pulp and locks me out in freezing cold for hours at a stretch, my own father feigns ignorance and forces me to adjust! 'This IS what your gender is supposed to do,' he says often!
My thoughts are interrupted again, this time by the sound of my husband's voice! 'Vidhisha?Vidhisha?are you dead? Bring water for me.
Why is he calling out for Vidhisha? I pour water from the jar, place it neatly on the tray, and walk towards him. He glances at the tray and flings it hard. I move behind involuntarily and lose my balance. Girish catches hold of me by my hair and slaps me hard across the face!
'You stupid cow? You are daydreaming again? He asks violently as I wither in pain.' No, Pranav is not coming to save you.'
His words jolt me back into reality. A reality i often wish was just a bad nightmare, but even nightmares have been kinder to me than my own husband ever was!
I'm Vidhisha. I didn't join my dream company. I bowed down to my father's threats. I gave up on Pranav. I have no presentation due. I will never follow my dreams. I will never be free.
I pick up the broken shards of glass. I go back to the kitchen and start preparing tea for my husband. I pass by a mirror when I'm taking tea for him. I look at my reflection and smile. The Vidhisha i know will be coming back home to her Pranav from the office after giving an amazing presentation. They will drink their favorite masala chai together and talk about their day!
Yes, that strong-headed Vidhisha I once was now exists only in my imagination. But imagining the life that I once envisioned for myself has kept me alive. Tomorrow I'll wake up again and prepare Vidhisha for her next presentation. I live in a cage of broken dreams and unfulfilled potential, but in my imagination I conquer the world every day!
Written by Vashvi Singh.
