In that day, the weather was fluctuating. It seemed to be calm and cloudless, but every now and then it turned to be foggy and the wind would move violently. Richard Staideson found it difficult at first to adapt with this confusing weather. After he got married to a working wife, he moved with her to the outskirts and began his work as a teacher in one of the private schools.
Soon he became comfortable with the place especially that the house he rented was secluded and detached from the rest of the neighborhood. Richard Staideson was a man of thirty-two. He had a pale complexion and wrinkles which feed on his serious face. He was a very calm, peaceful, routinish person. When he got used to a certain habit , rarely he was able to change it or give it up.. Seldom he used to laugh, defy or react. He used to think that by this way he would save himself from running into snags and he would be respected. He was not aware that his being too cool and obedient would let others underestimate him. By and by, he began to feel it, but he never confessed it. He became no longer interested in making conversations with any one. He chose to get away from all those who criticize his way of life and make fun of him. But he still was persistent that his way of life is right and the problem is not with him. Therefore, he decided to continue on leading the same life in the outskirts afar from all the people he was acquainted with.
In that fluctuating weather as Staideson was walking to school in the morning, it came to him the image of his neighborhood guys who used to make fun of his being completely silent, introvert and cool. They interpreted this as being a sign of shyness, but for Staideson was a sign of self- righteousness. One of the guys called, Dan used to mock him by saying:" the one who will marry you will be the luckiest woman in the world."
Staideson tried to escape this image. So, he began to walk quickly, quickly forwards as if he was wrestling with the strong wind and wanted to keep walking in spite of her. Staideson just had a quarrel with Nataly, his wife, before he went out. Nataly always criticized his static, introvert personality, his cold blood and inability to change and to be a stronger man. Sometimes she used to quarrel with him intentionally so that he would react, confront or silence her, but never he did. He always listened to her acute, disdainful words in silence. She used to tell him in his face:" You are weak, dumb person... I am married to a statue, you`re poor routinish. You do not talk to me, you just come from school, and then you eat, sleep, and then read then correct your stupid papers then again you sleep. I`m married to a machine." Staideson did not seem to be affected by her words. Nataly would shout until her voice is gone and surrenders to her tears. Staideson got used to quarrel with her and it almost became one of his daily habitual activities. He never acknowledged that what was happening between him and his wife was a serious problem. He always put excuses for what she did. He was trying to convince himself that Nataly was not like this during the first year of their marriage and she might have become a bit nervous after she gave up her job and stayed in home," definitely I`m not the problem".
While he was mumbling these words, he found himself at the gate of the school. Something odd possessed him. He thought for a second as if trying to comprehend it. He seemed unsure whether this feeling dwelled inside him before and always tried to ignore it or it was something new. He tried his best to resist it and pushed himself to enter with difficulty. As he was watching the students who come in pairs and groups and listening to their giggles and shouts, one of the students named, John looked at him and shout to his gang: "look guys, there`s our peaceful pet looking at us as if he senses and understands." Although John`s voice was muffled, Staideson heard him but claimed not to. He imposed a weird smile on his face and went to his classroom trying to silence the odd feeling which seemed to be stronger. While Staideson was about to enter the classroom, he saw the students in pandemonium. One of the students named, Robinson was standing in front of the students making fun of Staideson`s serious face, hidden eyes. Robinson imitated him cleverly. He was able to imitate all his daily actions and utterances. The teacher stared at the scene open mouthed in surprise.
That damned feeling as he called it was about to erupt. But Staideson still tried not to see the scene as an act of insult towards a teacher who should be respected. He reassured himself by saying: If I was not a distinguished teacher whose actions are admired by his students, students would not choose to imitate me in particular. I`m not a nondescript." He entered the classroom and taught as usual calmly and with eyes hidden, but this time his complexion seemed more pale and his wrinkles appeared as clear lines on his face. The students looked at him in amazement. They noticed that there was something strange happening to him. But neither he nor they were able to recognize it. After he finished his classes, he became relieved that the day passed peacefully.
Minutes later, he was informed that the headmaster wants to see him. At that moment, the rain started to lash against the window. His heart was leaping and his legs shivered. That weird feeling possessed him again, but he tried to defeat it by saying: "I think I`m not the problem". When he entered the headmaster`s room, he found him sitting cross-legged and smoking a cigar. "Good afternoon Mr. Johnson, I`ve been informed that you want to see me", Staideson said. Mr. Johnson did not answer him directly. It took from him some minutes till he became able to See him in this smoky room. After awhile, he offered him a seat and said: "Staideson, how Long have you been teaching here?
Staideson: Since two years, sir.
The headmaster: yes that`s right. Don`t you think that this is a sufficient period for you to be acquainted with your companions here. What do you know about the teachers in this school?
Staideson: nothing, sir I think...
Headmaster: have you ever engaged in any voluntary groups activities in this school? Of Course you have not. What do you know about your students, do you recognize any of them? You have been in this high prestigious school for two years with the same conduct, the same formal utterances, the same passiveness, the same coolness. Are you able to sense your Surroundings, the change in the seasons or people around you? Are you aware of the bad impact of you on the students or the teachers who complain due to your being uncooperative.
I am sorry to tell you Staideson that I`m no longer interested in having you as one of the teachers In this school. I want a teacher who is more dynamic and can communicate with students and affect them in a positive way, not one who avoids eye contact with them.
As Staideson listened to this, he kept silent. Something inside him prepared to erupt. That extinct feeling turned to be active. He left the headmaster`s room not uttering a word trying to calm down the storm which was blowing inside him. Not Staideson alone who was in rage, the wind was blowing violently and the sky announced her anger by sending her thunder. He seemed bewildered, confused, unsure of who he is and whether his way of life is wrong or not. He was not sure whether he had to neglect what others say about him or he had to submit to the reality and admit that all his life was a mistake. He tried not to be affected with the head master`s words, but he couldn`t. He was afraid to admit that he is the problem .He was about to give up to that depressing feeling.
When he arrived home, he did not find his wife there. She left a letter on the table in which she wrote that she became unable to put up with his static, cool state anymore and that she tried her best to absorb and comprehend him, but in vain. She realized that he is an extinct volcano that can never be erupted. At the end of the letter she wrote that she wants to get divorced. When he read the letter, a volcano erupted from inside him. A monstrous, defying, huge cry blowed up through his mouth. His cry shook the entire house and seemed to defeat his calmness. He fainted as he was uttering:" yes, I`m defeated... definitely I`m the source of all problems". After awhile he felt relieved.
