My friend is adopted. He has four siblings who are also adopted. Both parents willed their property to two separate entities. Nothing was to go to the children. So my friend burned the will. And a conservator stepped in to reclaim property that was converted before the death of the transferor. But now the conservator has the deed and refuses to probate the estate as intestate, which would transfer ownership to the adopted siblings.
My friend doesn't know what to do so he plays nice to get what he needs to survive, but it's not enough. Instead of taking power, he exercises the same pathological dominance over others, giving and taking according to their behavior. He exercises the same arbitrary rule over his own kingdom, the same way the conservator does over him. Not only that, but he is encouraged to do so. He learns by example that power resides in him rather than the law and that it is normal to abuse his power. Power to him is abusing it. Power through abuse.
And he denies having power to evade the requisite responsibilities of that power. When something goes wrong, suddenly he’s helpless. it's not his responsibility. The animals aren't his. They're someone else's. The property isn't his. It's someone else's. When he doesn't get his way with others, he blames them for abusing him.
Suddenly, he is now the victim. He locks people out and denies them access to resources not as punishment but as self-protection. He projects all of his actions onto others and demands they take responsibility for his actions. He hoards communal resources and denies others their share.
He is sole provider. Any attempt to live separate and independently is a threat. He constantly attempts to control others behaviors, and demands to provide. He must feed you. It's time for you to shower. Etc. Others become a plaything of his appetite and his needs. Any show of resistance offends him. He feels rejected. He asks why don't you love him anymore. He becomes weak in front of you as an attempt to incite your affection and assurance. But his weakness only invites more loathing and rejection.