"He hasn't changed, he won't change" Marie kept repeating the same sentence on her way to her lawyer's office. Today is the day. Brian is in Cairo on a "business trips", so he says. She knows he is cheating on her.
Two months back, she caught him on a call arranging a romantic getaway for two. Excited, she brought it up at dinner that night. "Brian, I heard you on the phone earlier talking about a getaway. Where, and when are we going?" Beaming at him, she saw his body go rigid.......shoot, shoot he's gonna kill me! "When did you start being so nosy?! Do I not deserve privacy and respect as the sole breadwinner and man of this house?!" With much gusto, Marie stood from her chair at the dinning table, racing up the stairs to the only place in the house she found solace - the bathroom. Brian started after knowing excatly where she was going, strucking her on her head with his fist at the top of the stairs. Wasting no time, Brian turned her over and starting punching and kicking her. Numb on the floor, Marie lay thinking of how she have to wear makeup to hide the bruises for the next few days. When he was satisfied with the amount of blood he saw on his shoes and clothes, Brian broke the silence "Better get yourself cleaned up so we can eat, I'm hungry", he said. I can't keep at this, thought Marie as she stood with every part of her being aching.
She had purposefully scheduled an appointment with her Lawyer, Amiya Dawson on the weekend Brian wasn't in town, she would have to explain where she was going. While waiting in Dawson's office, she suddenly felt nauseous. Was Dawson trying a new room spray or was the one Marie liked expired? She used to love the smell of it, she thought. She ran to Dawson's office bathroom vomiting, something is wrong. "Marie?" DAwson was calling from outside the bathrrom door, "You good in there? Should I get you water?". Do I tell her I'm feeling sick, it's quite embarrasing, Marie thought. "I'm fine, water would be lovely thanks". "Coming right up" replied Dawson. Feeling much better, Marie stood up and cleaned herself up, walked out in the office with Dawson waiting patiently in her chair. "Hey, sorry I kept you waiting. I felt a bit nauseous but I'm all good now". "Don't worry yourself about it, love. I kept you waiting first, here's your water. Let's get down to business, so what would you like out of this divorce" Dawson said, passing her a bottle of water. "Thank you", even the water had an unusual taste for Marie. "I really don't want anything from Brian, he's hurt me so much. I just want this over and done with, as soon as possible." Dawson was shocked, who would divorce the richest man in this town and not want a single out of the divorce, she thought. "Are you sure about that?" asked Dawson. Nodding her head, Marie said ,"Hundred percent, I would have consided it if we had kids but...." Marie had really wanted children, she envied every pregnant woman and every mother she saw with her kids. Brian was to blame for their childlessness. For the past eight years, he has been kicking and punching her into miscarriges and she always forgived him convincing herself he wouldn't do it again, that he'd change. He never ceased to prove her wrong. "I guess you're going to have to consider then..." Dawson said, breaking her train of thought. Marie was confused, "What do you mean?" Dawson just smiled.
Straight after leaving Dawson's office, Marie drove the pharmacy to get a pregnancy test. She didn't think she was pregnant, and for the first time in her life, she didn't want to be. Kicking off her shoes once she was in the house, she ran up the stairs to the bathroom. She was already tearing up before she finished peeing in the cup and sticking the ClearBlue in it. Something in her told she was pregnant, she knew it deep down. She couldn't be pregnant, Brian would kill her baby. After five minutes of waiting, she checked the tested: "Pregnant - 8-9 weeks". Sinking down to the bathroom floor, she screamed and cried. She stood up, got into the shower, fully clothed and opened the water, turned the tap so the water would be at it's hottest temperature. She shrank to a corner against cold shower glass, far from the scalding water.This was her routine whenever she was hurt or just needing to think. Tears running down her face as fast as the water was falling out of the tap. "I can't do this, I can't bring a child into this marriage. This is no way for a child to be brought up. I can't tell him I'm pregnant, he'll have me abort my baby or punched it out of me." she said to herself. She had had 8 miscarriages and 4 abortions, everytime she felt she wouldn't be able to concieve again. Brian always forced into abortion, if she didn't comply, he'd simply say: "I'll just beat it out you". She had to get out of this house now, she couldn't wait for the divorce to be finalised. Standing up, she wiped her tears and turn the tap off, walked into her and Brian's room. She was done crying, she was done with everything. She was going to leave this sham of a marriage. She took her suitcase, filled it with all her clothes, everything she had bought for herself. All the other thiings Brian had bought when he was loving and caring, she'd leave. She didn't want anything of his, except that beautiful seed growing in her.
Brian used to be so loving, she had loved so much then. Out of the 12 years they'd been married, the first four years were pure bliss. They met on a dating app, had 7 dates then Brian decided to make it official by asking Marie to be his girlfriend. For two years they dated, traveling the world, just enjoying each other's company. When they were in Madagscar for a weekend getaway, Brian proposed, Marie was over the moon. They celebrated that whole weekend. When they came back to Cape Town, Brian had planned a surprise engagement party with Marie's friend and family all present. Was there a man any more perfect than her Brian, Marie had thought then. Their wedding was the most beautiful and intimate wedding ever. Their honeymoon was In Dubai. Marie was absolutely happy, her mom Dianne wasn't. Dianne felt her daughter was too young to be getting married, Marie was 22 and Brian was 29 but she wouldn't hear her mom at all. She didn't cared that she was young, she loved Brian and that was all that mattered. Dianne had cut ties with her daughter then, with the warning that should anything go wrong, Marie was not to call her any help. Four years and a half later, Marie found she was pregnant. She was so happy, she couldn't wait for Brian to come home from work so she'd share the wonderful news with him. They hadn't spoken about having children, she didn't really know how Brian would react. She had taken the day off work because she wasn't feeling well, Brian made her soup before he left for work. When she Googled her symptoms, pregnancy popped up so she drove to the pharmacy around the corner to get a test which came out positive. Brian came home quite early to take care of Marie, to his surprise his patient looked like she hadn't been sick the whole morning, she was infact cooking. "Hey, babe.You look a hundred times better and you're cooking a lot of food. What's the occasion?Are your girls coming over? Do I need to disappear?" he had said after kissing her cheek. Marie was so happy, she was beaming at him like she was a kid and he had just bought her all the candy in the world. "Hey, baby. How was work? I am feeling a lot better, and no, the girls aren't coming over. This is just for me and you, we'll talk over dinner. I have great news. Why don't you go shower and come back? I'll be done by then." Reluctantly, Brian started out the kitchen and up the stairs then stopped and looked at his wife, "Should I be worried?" he asked. Marie laughed, "Well, that depends on your view on the matter but I'm not. Now go." Brian raised a brow, "Mmm". He was worried. After dinner, Marie gave Brian a gift bag. Marie sat looking at him to see his first expression when he realises what she wanted to tell him. As soon as he lifted the baby romper out the bag, Marie looked into his eyes and she swore she saw her loving husband of four years disappear into something or someone he is to this day. "What is this, Marie? Is this some sort of a sick joke?! HUH?! Answer me, dammit!" Brian had never raised his voice at her, "No, it's not a joke babe. Lower your voice, aren't you happy? We're going to be parents!" she said chosing to remain calm and excited so Brian would calm because his sudden anger must have be a mistake. Brian slapped her out of her chair, toppling over with the chair. With her vision blured by tears, she stood up and looked at the man that had replaced her sublime husband. Who is this man, what happened to my husband, she'd thought. "Brian, you slapped me? Since when do you lay your hands on me? I thought you'd be happy, this is the best-" He pushed her over and started punching and kicking, "You thought I'd be happy that you're bringing another's man child for me to raise?! Huh?! You think I don't notice that you're always eager to go to work and that you always make you look your best? So now that your office romance has ended because he got you pregnant, you want to pin it on? You know what, tomorrow you will resign that job and be the good wife that you aren't. But, hold on, let me kick this bastard out of you." Making sure to aim for her lower stomach, Brian kept kicking with Marie screaming: "Brain, please, this isn't you. Please stop. Brian, come back to me. This isn't you" Adamant on making sure Marie miscarried the fetus, Brian kept kicking through her begging. Marie turned over so he'd kicked her back instead to protect her baby, Brian turned her over and put her wrists in one hand and balanced one foot on them then kicked with the other. Once Marie was laying in a pool of her blood, he stopped and went upstairs to change out of his bloody clothes. Marie just lay there, unable to move, saying: "Mom was right" over and over under her breath. Her throat was dry from all the screaming and crying, tears still running down the sides of her face and into her ears. Brian came back with a bucket of water, mop and a scrubbing brush, "Better clean this up before I come back" was all he said. Who is this man, thought Marie again.He walked out smelling fresh, looking very content with himself. Marie called her mom later that day to tell she was right and that she needed Dianne to help her. All Dianne said was: "You made your bed alone, you can't expect me to come and help you up from it. Bye"
As Marie walked out of the house she once loved, she realised she had no one and she didn't even know where she was going. Brian had made resign from her great job at a law firm, his reasons being she was having an affair at work which was totally untrue. Few months after that, he told her to cut off all her friends because they weren't married therefore they were a bad influence on Marie. Brian has succeeded in making feel unloved with no one to rely or run to. As she was pulling out of her driveway, she finally saw the past 12 years of her life how it really was. She was becoming more and more livid at Brian, she wanted him to pay. She'd call Dawson as soon as she got to the hotel she was going to stay at and tell her she changed her mind, she wanted half of everything and she'd sue Brian for the abuse and miscarriages and abortions. She didn't care that he didn't want children, she didn't want him anywhere near the child she was carrying, he'd simply corrupt her child. All this while, Marie didn't realise she had taken the wrong car. One of her and Brian's cars had a brake problem so Brian had said it shouldn't be driven until he got it fixed. It was only when Marie was at a traffic light, and she had the red light with a big truck coming towards her , that she realised.
In the arms of his lover in Cairo, Brian's phone started buzzing with an unknown number on the caller ID. With great irritation, he picked: "Who are you and what do you want?" There was a lot of commotion in the background, "Hi, sorry to disturb you, sir. Can I ask, am I speaking to Mr. Brian Codwell?" said the caller. "Yes, this is he. What do you want?" answered a very annoyed Brian. "Sir, This is James David. I'm calling because you are Mrs. Codwell's next of kin." Startled, Brian sat up straight, away from fom the cause of his wife's misery sleeping peacefully next to him, "What about her? Where is she?" Why was someone calling him, talking about next of kins at that time of the night, he thought."Mr. Codwell, Your wife was involved in an accident about an hour ago. Unfortunately, she and her the baby died on the scene. My deepest condolences, sir." Brian dropped the call. The baby? Marie was pregnant again? He thought, mad at himself for being so stupid. Marie loved him, she had endured their painful marriage for 8 years, never once telling a soul because that would ruin Brian's career. All Marie had wanted was to be happy and have children, all Brian had was cause her pain. How he coud he live with himself after being such a horrible husband to someone who's only sin was loving him? All the thinking was killling him inside, he walked out to his balcony. The hotel he was in was 12 storey high, it was a lovely hotel Marie had wanted to come to but he took his lover instead. Idiot, he thought. From the 12 storey balcony, the world seem as though as it was lacking something or someone. Yes, it was lacking Marie. The world wouldn't be anything to him without her. Living in a world where the only person who loved him as he was, not caring about his status or money, didn't make sense. Turning his back against the rail of the balcony, he raised himself so he was sitting on the rail then he pushed himself back. As he was falling down the 12 storey hotel, his last words were: "Forgive me, Marie. I love you."
