"You can do whatever you want! You are no less than a boy! You will make wonders — your Dadaji said that at your birth!"
I grew up listening to these words, constantly competing to be on par in every field with my brother, who was always a topper and my inspiration. Of course a healthy competition!!
Growing up, my father would sometime hesitate to send me to places where I wanted to roam around, but he never hesitated to send me anywhere there was an academic competition, or something related to studies. Being from a small town, I never felt the difference or any hindrance in becoming a successful, independent woman with a strong career. I’ve achieved many milestones and earned recognition in my successful career over the last 13 years. But suddenly, it seems to be fading away, replaced by a feeling of hopelessness, being compelled, hands tied, and not knowing where to go next. Why?
It’s not that I have pressure from my in-laws. I come from a progressive family with modern thinking where there are no barriers, and I have a supportive husband, a supportive family who always says you should never quit! - . Still, something is holding me back, telling me to stop. It’s telling me that it’s high time I quit my job and focused on my family instead of my career. Why? Because there is a child who needs me, who depends on me, whose hopeful eyes are always searching for me when I am out.
Now my child is 3.5 years old. I’m lucky that he is very supportive — he never cries when I go to the office, only complains and demands more love when I return home.
But he has health issues, with frequent pneumonia and multiple ICU admissions. Now, how can a mother stay calm and join work in such a situation? Yes, of course, I would join work if my company offered work-from-home options or daycare facilities, but unfortunately, many big conglomerates in India do not have such provisions making a mother hopeless.
On one hand, we talk about women’s empowerment — that women should grow, be like men, and be independent. But we also need to understand that with every independent woman, there is a side that is a mother, a hope for her child, and that place is irreplaceable. Is it so difficult for our system and policymakers to understand this? Can’t they create some flexibility and facilities for working mothers? If this basic support isn’t a mandate in every organization, then women’s empowerment will remain just words on paper, only discussed in political rallies or Independence Day speeches!
I feel helpless. I never thought this day would come, that I would have to quit my dream, my dedication, my love for being a working woman .But it seems like it’s time. I need to prioritize; I need to decide. It’s time to stop and be a mother — only a mother.
