Two people that are different from each other, brought together.
I was not expecting my world to change so quickly and in the most strangest way.
As I was fresh out of high school, living back home with my family, I was working at a hole in the wall store.
Seeing different people every day. As well as the regulars that came in each day. Saying quick, hellos, and have a good day. Then he came in, strange hair color for a young guy. As I shrug my shoulders and carry my day away.
As days went by not paying attention to people, he caught my eye again. The purple hair, his quirky hellos. As he actually stands at the counter trying to start a conversation with me, I find myself smiling and laughing. OK, this kid got my attention and wants to know more about him.
We started hanging out, and without him aware, my worries went away little by little.
We started hanging out at clubs, bars, and driving around town. I started to feel safe around him. After months of hanging out, one night out of the blue, he offers a road trip and promises to have me home by morning.
At first, I was hesitant, can I truly trust him. We loaded ourselves in his car and drove through our state to the border of another state. I caught myself falling asleep as he kept driving. As we made it to the next state, we stopped at a rest area before heading home.
As I walked into my house, I knew then he would always hold a spot in my heart. We grew closer as friends. I thought he would always just be by my side.
I dated others, and some he didn't approve of but was always there for me. I found myself pregnant with my oldest at 21. Life was changing for me.
I started to notice my best friend drifting away. As life took us different paths, the hole in my soul was still there. Maybe he was just a part of my life only those times.
Years past, I got married with two more kids. Mom life took over, work got busy, and marriage had a roller-coaster of wonderful journeys.
Then, as I was in a public place, I caught someone watching me. I glanced over, and it's you. With a big smile on your face.
We chat catching up on our lives. We find ourselves wanting to be around each other more often. Knowing we have our own lives. As I am married and a mom. You engaged to someone overseas. We still connect deeper with each other. Knowing we never crossed a certain line. You grew on me and had me feel again.
But as time went by, that line was crossed. Each time I left, I had tears down my face, emotions that weren't supposed to exist. I decided to distance myself for the last time. Hurtful things were said on both sides. I decided to bury it deep. Time went by, and I occasionally see you around town. Walking away as you were a stranger. But I felt that hole in my soul remind me different.
I felt down a hard path in my life, felt hopeless, and was destroying every feeling in my bones.
Turned to the wrong places and people who only made it worse.
As I settled with what is, trying to bring myself out of the slump, I turned around and saw you standing there. I panic and hide.
What is the world trying to tell me. I reach out and, without a doubt, get mixed feedback.
Is there too much hurt there? Is there too much fear of hope? Who knows. But I have to continue with my life and compress all thoughts away. Only wish to understand truly.
