CHAPTER ONE
KINGSHIP TUSSLE
Many years ago, the animal kingdom had the Lion as their king. Every animal agreed and accepted that the Lion was their king. Each animal respected him as their leader. That was because all, except the Elephant believed that the Lion was the strongest of the animals. The Elephant never hid his displeasure over such belief. He had on several occasions demanded that such acceptance without proof be abandoned. In order to prove further his point, he challenged
the Lion to fight him. That became news in the animal kingdom and a date was fixed for the two to prove who was stronger. It was also agreed that the fight would take place at the market square and that whoever won would be crowned the king of the animals. Every animal talked excitedly about the coming fight. Hence, the Rabbit and the Squirrel discussed it one day as they were going to the farm.
"Who do you think, would defeat the other?'' the Squirrel asked the Rabbit.
"Well. I don't know, but I know, it is going to be tough and bloody. As you know, these are two giants,'' the Rabbit replied.
"I thought like wise and...." the Squirrel tried to finish but was interrupted by the Tortoise who was passing by then.
"What are you two discussing?" the Tortoise asked them.
After few seconds silence, the Squirrel opened up and said:
"Well, we were talking about the coming fight between the Lion and the Elephant."
"Eehe, what about it? Is that why both of you left where you were going and were wasting your time talking about a useless matter," the tortoise queried angrily.
"What is your concern here?" the Rabbit asked the Tortoise in annoyance.
"I'm not interested. I can't understand why you can't make use of your God-given head. Why is it that the matter of kingship is based on strength, instead of, on the intellect and ideas?" the Tortoise queried quickly.
"That is your problem, not ours," the Squirrel replied, as they left the Tortoise who stood there not knowing what to say next.
CHAPTER TWO
THE TORTOISE' MISCHIEF
The matter of who would become the next king of the animals never stopped to trouble the Tortoise. He could not understand why he, according to his own self-rating, who was the wisest and the most intelligent of all the animals, should not be crowned the king. He wondered why kingship should be based on strength and valour. He became very much worried and unhappy. Hence, he refused food and went hungry. At a point, he got so angered and frustrated that he thought of what to do in order to put an end to that plan and make sure he became the next king of the animals. For, according to him, he needed power and authority, so he could lord it over the rest of the animals. After careful thought and planning, he decided to burn the farm of the animal kingdom and consequently cause famine in the land. Before burning the farm, he decided, he would steal all the farm-produce he could lay his hands on. When the 'D' day came, the Tortoise did exactly as he had planned. At night, when all the animals were asleep, he and his family went and packed all the farm-produce inside his house before setting the whole farm on fire. The next day, the animals woke up to discover that their farm had been set on fire and everything destroyed. There were lamentation and frustration everywhere. The Tortoise cried more than all the animals. He tried to hang himself but was prevented from doing so by some of the animals. In the midst of that terrible misfortune, a meeting of all the animals was called. In the meeting, it was decided that an oath was to be taken at the market square by all the animals, so as to make sure that no animal had a hand in the burning of their farm and to avoid unnecessary suspicion. That was because all the animals denied ever having a hand in the burning of their farm. The idea of taking oath was championed by the Tortoise who also used the occasion to tell the animals that it would be proper to review the quality of their would- be-king. Before the day for the oath-taking, the Tortoise went to a powerful medicine man who prepared a powerful charm for him so that the oath would not point at him. On the day of the oath taking, all the animals took the oath including the Tortoise, but the oath could not and did not point at any animal. That removed every suspicion as all the animals went to their respective homes satisfied.
CHAPTER THREE
The Great Famine
Soon afterwards, according to the expectation of the Tortoise, a great famine came and many animals started suffering from kwashiorkor. Hence, another meeting of the animals was conveyed in order to find solution.
"What shall we do, seeing that hunger is biting us very hard,'' the Lion asked the animals.
The animals could not talk as most of them were weighed down by hunger and fatigue. There was silence everywhere. That situation provided an opportunity for the Tortoise to sell his idea about the quality of their would-be- king to the animals.
"My brothers," the tortoise went on to speak. "As you can see, hunger is treating all of us badly. I suggest that as we have no solution to our problem for now, that whoever is able to give us food on daily basis should be crowned our king. We know that a king should be able to provide for his subjects in time of need."
That suggestion angered the Lion and the Elephant and they opposed it. That brought disagreement and confusion in the meeting. Hence, the meeting was stopped and postponed. However, the Tortoise was not deterred. He went from house to house, trying to convince them about his proposal. Those who proved stubborn to convince, he bribed with food. Before long, all the animals supported the Tortoise and were even saying he should be the king, with the exception of the Lion and Elephant. However, when the famine became severer, the Lion came to beg the Tortoise.
"Have you accepted that I should be your king," the Tortoise asked the Lion proudly.
"You are our king already. Please, give me food to eat before I die," the Lion pleaded.
However, the Tortoise told the Lion that he would give him food on the condition that he would announce to all the animals that he was no longer interested in the kingship and that instead, that all should join hands and crown the Tortoise king. Without wasting time, the Lion did exactly as the Tortoise had ordered him before he was given food. As for the Elephant, he was already suffering from kwashiorkor. He was not able to visit the Tortoise because he could not move about. Hence, he sent several apology messages to the Tortoise to forgive him but the Tortoise ignored him. It took the combined efforts of all the animals especially that of the Lion to convince the Tortoise to listen to the plea of the Elephant. In spite of the terrible condition of the Elephant, the Tortoise insisted that the Elephant must come and kneel before him before he could get any food from him. Consequently, in order to save the Elephant from untimely death, all the animals joined hands and carried the Elephant to the Tortoise' house where he knelt before him.
In arrogance and show of power, the Tortoise looked scornfully at the Elephant and shouted at him angrily.
"Have you accepted that I am your king?"
Worn out with fatigue and hunger, the Elephant struggled to breathe and muster enough strength so as to respond to the tortoise' question.
"Who is talking about kingship, my king and my lord," the Elephant managed to say.
Hearing that response from the Elephant, the Tortoise smiled mischievously and ordered:
"From today, you and the Lion will be my body guards. You especially, will be cooking my food, polishing my shoes and washing my pants, plus other works which I shall be adding as time goes on. Did you hear me?"
"Yes my lord. No, em, em, my king!"
Afterwards, all the animals agreed that the Tortoise would be their new king and the date was fixed for his coronation. However, they sent a message to the Tortoise that their king should also be a born again Christian, who would rule them with the fear of God. Consequently, the Tortoise announced to all the animals that he had become a born again Christian. He carried the biggest bible in the land and moved from place to place preaching the gospel of repentance.
"Have you received the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour," the Tortoise asked the Cat one day.
"Yes I have," the Cat responded quickly.
"You have not," the Tortoise countered.
"1 told you I have or are you the judge?"
"Then why do you kill?"
"But I don't kill."
"Then why do you kill the Rat or pursue the Rat to kill?"
On hearing that, the Cat did not know what to say again.
"Repent now for the judgment of God is upon you already. That is why no matter how much you eat, it doesn't appear on your body and you seem always hungry, as you go about crying 'mio-mio'," the Tortoise told the Cat and made his way towards the Rat's house.
On seeing the Rat near the entrance to his house, the Tortoise began to shake and mutter thus:
"Oh anointing, Robo Robo Robobo ushiiii," the Tortoise screamed.
The noise made the Rat turn and he asked the Tortoise whether all was well.
"All is not well. The God of Elijah has sent me to tell you that within ten days, you will die if you do not stop stealing fish. Oh Robobobo katikatikati robo bobobobobo ushiiii."
The Rat was surprised at that type of outpouring of anointing on the Tortoise whom he knew to be a fraudster, a selfish and ambitious person who stole by trick. However, he told the Tortoise:
"I have heard you and I will think over what you have said."
"It is not a matter of thinking, just repent and do what I said or there would be no more food for you from me, did you hear me?"
"Yes, 1 did," the Rat fearfully replied.
"Ingrate," the Tortoise cursed the Rat as he quickened his steps towards the He-goat's house.
On seeing the Tortoise, the He-goat smilingly came to welcome him. "Eeh stop there or do you want to transfer that your accursed odour to me, the holy prophet of God?" the Tortoise scornfully asked the He-goat.
"No ooo," the He-goat humbly responded.
"Now listen and listen for good, or am I sure you have ears?"
"Yes I have."
"Now hold them tightly and listen to me, you sinner and adulterer. He-goat! He-Goat!" the He- Goat answered.
"He-Goat!" the He-Goat answered.
"How many times did I call you?"
"Three times," the He-goat replied.
"The Bible says, one He-goat, one wife. But for you, God is wasting his time. Everywhere, all you know is 'piom piom piom'. Are you the only one that is a male? That was why God cursed you with a terrible odour. Ever , since, you have been polluting the air with your accursed odour. You must repent. Well, whether you repent or not, that's your concern. But be assured that when I am crowned king, you must answer the Environmental Protection Agency for polluting our God-given air. Again, you must use chain to chain yourself. For I have received repeated complaints that you don't allow the wives and daughters of your neighbours to rest even for a second. For the ones you have done, you must follow me immediately to my house and receive one thousand strokes of cain. You no fit hold body. Everywhere, you hear about HIV/AIDS and other venereal diseases but all these don't move you, womanizer. Better zip up or I would use knife and cut off that your male organ."
Immediately he finished speaking, he left for his house and the He-goat sadly followed him. When they reached the Tortoise' house, the Tortoise invited all the other animals. In their presence, he flogged the He-goat until blood came out from different parts of the He-goat's body. He flogged him until the He-goat fainted. It took the efforts of some of the animals to revive the He-goat back to life. Yet, the Tortoise told him that his lashes would continue whenever he recovered fully. According to him, he would use the He-goat to set an example for those who would not 'hold their body'. As for the animals, they were not happy about the whole thing but they remained silent for fear that if any ventured to say anything unpleasant to the Tortoise, such animal would not be given food again. Hence, as the Tortoise commanded them to be clapping for him as he flogged the He-goat mercilessly, they obeyed without questioning. However, some animals such as the Lion and the Elephant later begged the Tortoise to forgive the He-goat, but he scolded them and told them that they were Gentile sinners and knew nothing about the Bible. He told them that he was only applying the Law of Moses as Elijah did with the prophets of Baal and not the law of Jesus Christ. Nevertheless, he promised them that he would apply the law of Jesus Christ when the He-goat would pay his tithes and offering each time they were due. He used the occasion to remind all the animals about his coronation as king of the animals and enjoined them to prepare very well so as to give him a befitting coronation worthy of his honour. Again, he announced that they should prepare for a miracle night the following day.
CHAPTER FOUR
MIRACLE NIGHT
The following day, all the animals gathered for the miracle night. By 8pm, the event began. It did not take time the Tortoise came and as he passed in their midst carrying a Bible thrice his size, he ordered them to stand up for him as he 'the holy one of God', was passing. He mounted the pulpit and told the animals to expect healing, deliverance and salvation. He declared that they would see wonders if only they would have faith in him.
"You will experience wonders when you trust me to lead you to the promise land. I am Moses, Joshua and Elijah of our time. I am he who was anointed and sent to save you wretched sinners and hungry idiots," he asserted.
The animals asked him what would be the position of Jesus if he, the Tortoise was their saviour.
"I am greater than Jesus Christ. Soon, in my name, all knees will bow. In fact, last night, when I was in the third heaven like St. Paul, eating and discussing with the eternal father about your hunger, He told me plainly that He took Jesus as His favourite son then because I was not around. But now, old things have passed away and new things have come."
When reminded that it was sinful to curse somebody or call someone an 'idiot', he told them that his, was a holy sin and a holy curse. When someone was asked to start spiritual song that could lift the soul to heaven, the He-goat who was still recovering from the pains of the wounds inflicted on him intoned sadly:
'My home is over the sea
My home is over the sea
I am a stranger here
My home is over the sea
Laa, lala, lala, laalaa
Laa, lala, lala, laalaa
Laala laala laalaa
Laa, lala lala laalaa'
The Tortoise quickly shouted at him angrily and ordered him to shut up his smelling mouth. He gave him thirty three dirty slaps. He told the animals that the thirty three slaps were in remembrance of the thirty three years spent by Jesus Christ on earth and also for the remission of the sins of the He-goat that were crying to heaven for vengeance. He told them that God was very angry with the He-Goat and so hated the He-goat. However, he promised to continue to beg God to forgive the He-goat if the He-goat would 'hold his body' and continue to pay his tithes and offering to him. When it was time for testimony, the Tortoise' wife Anim came forward and gave a testimony of how the Tortoise cured her madness which had been troubling her for years. Then the Tortoise boasted thus:
"You have not seen anything. Oh if only you will have faith in me, even the faith as little as the mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, be lifted up and be thrown into the sea, it will obey you, chikina."
The Sheep suggested that the Tortoise should cure the Dog of his madness, for according to him, the Dog barked all night, even during the day and disturbed his neighbours especially him whenever he wanted to do his spiritual meditation. The Dog countered and defended himself. He told the animals that ever since the holy anointed one of God, the expected messiah, the Tortoise, preached to him, that he wasted no time in receiving not only Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Saviour but also Torti-Torti. He said since then, enemies had been fighting him. Hence, he had been invoking Holy Ghost fire, casting and binding the enemies. The praise and respect which the Dog gave the Tortoise in the presence of the animals pleased him greatly. There, he immediately announced that the Dog had become his chief errand boy. He told the animals that the Dog was saying the truth; that in his visions, he had seen the Dog fighting his enemies several times. Hence, he declared that the Dog was not mad but was only exercising his God-given gift as recorded in Gospel of Mark Chapter 16:16-18.
"Oh if only, you will have faith in me. He who believes in me and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be cursed like the He-goat. And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name Torti-Torti, they will cast out demons and fight their enemies like the Dog does. They will speak in new tongues as the Parrot; they will pick up serpents especially scorpions as you will see me do tonight, and if they smell any bad odour as the one coming from the accursed He-goat, it will not kill them; they will lay their hands on the sick as I laid hand on my wife Anim, and they will recover. Oh! Come over to me all you that are hungry and need food, I will give you plenty," the Tortoise declared.
Immediately, the Tortoise told the animals that it was time to show that he came from God and that God had sent him to the animals. He said he was going to pick up Scorpion as recorded in the Gospel of Mark, he had quoted. Earlier, he had bribed the Scorpion not to sting him when he would use him to show the animals God's power. However, the Scorpion had made up his mind to sting the Tortoise very hard. Hence, when he tried to pick up the Scorpion in the presence of the animals, the Scorpion stung the Tortoise very hard, to the point that the Tortoise shouted, cried and went into his shell to the great surprise of all the animals. Fearing that the animals would kill him, the Scorpion ran away. However, some animals were very happy that it fitted the Tortoise well; some were reserved as they feared that anything that happened to the Tortoise negatively might affect their food-ration. So they thought it wise to sympathize with the Tortoise when the latter came out of his shell.
"It was a divine accidental discharge permitted by God for the remission of your sins. You see, Jesus Christ suffered and mine will not be an exception. His, was even worse than mine. He was persecuted, rejected and killed by his own kinsmen, but mine will not be like that, before anybody will kill me, I will first of all kill that person, Allah," the Tortoise swore.
He told the animals that they should quietly go to their various homes and mourn as he, their king and savior had been wounded in a battle field. The animals looked surprisingly at one another and dispersed.
CHAPTER FIVE
TORTOISE PLANS SQUIRREL'S DEATH
Many days afterwards, news began to circulate that the Squirrel had discovered where he would be getting food without going to the Tortoise to beg for food again. That development greatly troubled the Tortoise and he became restless. He knew that if he failed to act fast, his ambition for the kingship would be contested. Hence, he made a plan on how to find out the source of the Squirrel's food and put a stop to that. In order to be able to get to the root of the source, the Tortoise decided that the best way to do that would be to make the Squirrel his special friend. So, one day, he told him.
"Look, Squirrel, my good friend. Two of us can join hands together and save our land from hunger. I have always trusted you. You can take charge of distributing the food in my house to all the animals. You see, ever since I became born again, up to this point that I now discuss with God face to face like Moses, I am no longer interested in any earthly things. I have plans that when I shall be fasting for forty days and forty nights in the wilderness like Moses, Elijah and Jesus, you will be the one controlling the wealth in my kingdom."
That enticing offer surprised the Squirrel and pleased him greatly. He also saw it as an opportunity to steal a lot of food from the Tortoise' house. Further, he saw it as a way to make himself rich in food and become powerful among the other animals as he had made up his mind to continue to get food from the new place he discovered. Consequently, he accepted the offer. The Tortoise smiled mischievously within him and told the Squirrel to start work immediately. From that day, the Squirrel started the food distribution, from time to time; he would excuse himself to go to the bush to ease himself. The Tortoise discovered that whenever the Squirrel went to the bush, he would spend a very long time before coming back. He noticed also that each time the Squirrel came back, he would be sweating. He decided to keep an eye on him. One day, when the Squirrel excused himself in order to go to the bush and ease himself, the Tortoise cheerfully permitted him.
"You don't need to take permission from me again. I am making you totally in charge of this place," the Tortoise had told him.
That statement of the Tortoise pleased the Squirrel greatly. Therefore, he joyfully went to the bush and the Tortoise quickened his steps and followed him from afar. When they got to the bush, the Tortoise hid himself and watched the Squirrel. The Squirrel climbed up a palm tree quickly and in a moment came down with palm nuts, corns and every kind of food. Quickly, he made for the direction of his house as the Tortoise watched from afar. Before he could get back to the Tortoise's house, the Tortoise was already in his house. The Tortoise discovered that the Squirrel normally went to the palm tree to steal the Birds' food. As he would not be able to climb any palm tree, he decided to find a way of making sure that the Squirrel was caught by the Birds.
CHAPTER SIX
THE BIRDS' MEETING
The Birds were at a loss over what used to happen to their food. There were accusations and counter accusations about who used to steal their food. Serious suspicions arose and at the end, they decided to call for an urgent meeting. However, quarreling and fighting did not allow them to come out with any meaningful solution to the problem. So, the meeting was postponed and the Birds went to their various homes. As they were going home, the Parrot met the Tortoise who told him to wait for him as he had something urgent to discuss with him.
"Ehee what is it you want to discuss with me?" the Parrot asked.
"Em, I am His Majesty, Messiah, king, Prophet, His Holiness, Most Reverend Doctor, Philanthropist: there are many other titles but let me for the sake of humility cut them short. I am His Highness Torti Torti. The ruler and leader of the animal kingdom and by the special grace of my holiness, the General Overseer of the Animal Pentecostal Church of Yahweh worldwide, the only surviving saint and God in the whole universe...."
"Please can you go straight to the point as I have so many other things to attend to," the Parrot cut in.
"Well, if you know who is talking to you right now, you would have been worshipping me by now. All the same, I don't blame you, but you have to repent and receive Jesus Christ, no, Torti, Torti, as your personal Lord and Saviour...."
"I'm leaving you if you don't go straight to the point."
"You see this your 'cho-cho-cho' talkative mouth; I put it to you that you must repent, walahi. Well, because I'm a saint, let me go straight to the point," the Tortoise said, paused and continued.
"As the holiest on earth and a seer, I was in the third heaven one night. I beheld the whole Birds in confusion over who usually steal their food. Up till now it is still a mystery to them who steals their food. I have come to tell them who used to do that and the next thing to do."
Hearing that, the Parrot became very excited and interested.
"Can't you tell me who does that, Holy one?" asked the Parrot excitedly.
"I can only talk when I am before the gathering of the whole birds by special invitation," the Tortoise maintained.
"Ok, see you here tomorrow by this time," the Parrot said and departed.
The Parrot reported the matter to his colleagues and a meeting between the Tortoise and the Birds was arranged. The Tortoise was given special invitation card that bore almost all the titles he mentioned earlier to the Parrot.
.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THE TORTOISE AND THE BIRDS MEET
"That must be a holy prophet of God," said the Sparrow to his colleagues. "Or else how come, he knew our problem without being told."
"Well, I will only believe him when we are able to catch the thief who steals our food," the Parrot cut in.
As the Birds were busy discussing the latest happening, the-Tortoise came in with a very big Bible.
"I give you peace," he told the Birds as he made the sign of the cross and reflected.
"I have come to solve your problem and give you life," he went further.
"The God of my ancestors has revealed to me that the person who steals your food is the Squirrel."
At the mention of the Squirrel, all the Birds shouted. While some condemned his action, others said he must be put to death. Without wasting time, the Tortoise left them and went home. Immediately, the Birds planned on how to catch the Squirrel.
The next day, the Squirrel went to steal the Birds' food and was caught. Without wasting time, the Birds killed the Squirrel and threw his body inside the bush. Afterwards, news came that the Squirrel was dead. The animals went and took his body and buried him and his funeral was held. As for the Tortoise, he was very happy. Thereafter, the Birds invited him again to repay him for what he had done for them.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The Tortoise Meets The Birds Again
The Birds were deeply touched by the way the Tortoise was able to tell them who stole their food. Hence, most of them believed he was a great prophet of God. They started respecting him and his words. Importantly, they thought it wise to repay him for his great revelation that saved them a lot of troubles and made it possible for them to catch the thief who stole their food. As the Tortoise was coming in with a big Bible, all the Birds stood up in respect.
"Today, this passage of the scripture is fulfilled. They shall look on him who saved them and do obeisance to the one who is their redeemer," the Tortoise declared.
When he had taken his seat, the Birds told him that they would repay him for the good revelation he gave to them. They said that there could not be any other greater way to repay him than his accompanying them to heaven to get the magic ring -that provided every kind of food and had all kinds of powers especially the power to make someone disappear and reappear at will. At the thought of that, the face of the Tortoise glowed and he began to think fast about what he would do. As he had no wing with which to fly to heaven, all the Birds promised to lend him each a feather. The date was fixed and each bird was asked to repent and do penance as nothing unclean would be admitted into heaven. The Tortoise said that that was for sinners and not for great anointed one of God like him. He boasted that he used to dine and wine with God every day. As for the saints and angels, he said they were his special friends who used to disturb him always for friendship. When reminded that St. Peter who used to man the gate of heaven would not allow any sinner in, he smiled and told the Birds that as soon as St. Peter would see him, he would command all the angels to minister to him and lead him to the throne of God. Again, he told the birds that as soon as he enters heaven, that all the angels and saints would bow and worship him alongside the eternal father. The Birds believed him because of the revelation he gave to them. The Tortoise also made all the Birds to take new names. According to him, it was written in the scripture that 'they were called by a new name, for old things are passed away, behold the new cometh'. On his own, he told the Birds that from that day, his name had become, 'All of You'. Later, the Tortoise thanked the Birds and went home.
CHAPTER NINE
TORTOISE SUMMONS ALL THE ANIMALS FOR
EMERGENCY MEETING
As soon as the Tortoise reached home that very day, he called an emergency meeting of all the animals.
"My little children," the Tortoise began. "I have called you, so that you will be my witnesses and know that I have told you this before it takes place. As I told the Gentile sinners, now I tell you. A little while, you will not see me, but a little while, you will see me, for I am always with you. I will not leave you orphans, for I shall come back to you. Yet not many of you are bothered to ask where I am going. But he who is with me is with me, for I always do his will."
Some animals then asked him: "where are you going?"
"Where I am going, you cannot come. I have told you this before it happens. That you may believe that I am in the father and the father is in me. Whoever has seen me Torti has seen the father. If I do not go away for a while, your daily food would not be assured. Anim my wife will see to your daily ration. The eternal father had summoned me to heaven for the great commissioning. So that at the name of Torti, every knee shall bow and every tongue will confess that Torti is divine, to the happiness of all. Thereafter, a magic ring would be given to me as a confirmation of my commissioning. Let not your hearts be troubled nor sadness overtake you. For in my father's house, there are assorted foods. If it were not so, would I have told you I go to get you food, food that will last. Not as your fathers gave do I give. As a sign confirming my words, tomorrow you will gather at the market square, look up to heaven for your redemption is at hand. Do not leave the market square until you have seen me and the heavenly entourage pass. I shall change into a flying bird, likewise all the heavenly entourage. As soon as you see us pass, bow your heads in adoration and give thanks to Torti for supplying your every need."
Immediately after these words, the Tortoise raised his eyes to heaven and continued.
"Heavenly father, the world does not know you, but I know you. If I say, I do not know you, I would be chief of liars. You sent me into the world and these believe you had sent me. Now, I am coming to you for a while. Of all those you have given to me, I have not lost any except the bad thief, the Squirrel, who wanted to stage a coup against your anointed one Torti but was mercilessly crushed by Amadioha god of thunder and again the accursed He-Goat, who because of anything in skirt had attracted your curse and unrepentantly had been polluting our God-given air. But I have assured him that when I come back, the Environmental Protection Agency would hold him responsible for such atrocity. Righteous father, keep those you have given me under perpetual obedience to my kingship, that none of them may plan another coup in my absence. So that the world will believe that I am in you and you in me."
With these words, the Tortoise ended his speech and the animals dispersed to their various homes. Many animals were deeply touched while some said unless they see the sign, they would not believe.
CHAPTER TEN
JOURNEY TO HEAVEN
The next day, the animals gathered at the market square to watch the Tortoise and his heavenly entourage pass. They kept their gaze up the sky, as instructed by the Tortoise. Meanwhile, the Tortoise and the Birds had gathered at an agreed venue; with the Tortoise carrying the biggest Bible of his life. Some birds advised him to carry a lesser one that could allow him to fly but the Tortoise refused. Nevertheless, each bird lent a feather to the Tortoise and some birds helped to decorate him with those feathers. When he wanted to test if he could fly with the Bible, he discovered that he could not. Hence, he continued to test bibles of various sizes until to his greatest surprise, he was only able to fly with a pocket Bible.
Having prepared, the entourage set off. Because of the pressure mounted on them by the Tortoise, they passed through the market square with the Tortoise at the forefront. When the animals saw the entourage pass through the market square, the animals who had gathered there as instructed by the Tortoise, shouted in amazement and wonder. Some of the animals, especially those who doubted before, were overwhelmed with great emotion while others were thrown into frenzy while yet several others were heard saying, 'Great is Torti, our God and king, blessed is he who comes in the name of Torti....' Some of them such as the Lion and the Elephant burst into uncontrollable song as:
'It is a great thing, to serve Torti
It is a great thing, to serve Torti
It is a great thing, to serve Torti
Walking in his own light
Chorus
Oh walk walk walk walk walk in the light (thrice)
Walk in the light of Torti
Many of them claimed they had seen the vision of Torti at the right hand of God the father. Others claimed they had received anointing and had spoken in tongues. However, when such animals like the He-Goat started shouting: "robo robo robobo tua mi mi minii mimimimi aaa".
Some wives of his colleagues quickly searched for their daughters and ran. But the He-Goat called them back and assured them that they were safe, as he was only acting under the influence of the great new anointing which he had received and not under the old madness of his male organ. Shortly afterwards, majority of the animals began to pray in the name of Torti while only very few
prayed in the name of Jesus. Yet, almost all the animals believed that the Tortoise was their expected messiah and they made offerings in his name to the eternal father.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE ENTOURAGE REACH HEAVEN
As the entourage got nearer the gate of heaven, St. Peter came forward and stood at the entrance. Immediately the Tortoise sighted St. Peter, he quickly raised his Bible up and smilingly went to shake hands with St. Peter. Seeing the Tortoise, St. Peter drew back in horror and shouted angrily in a loud voice.
"Who brought this stench here? Away with this murderer! Look, the eyes of God and His Saints and Angels cannot behold the sight of this filth. See, the stench of his sins is so great that it can pollute heaven and chase away God and His Saints."
At these words, the Tortoise was greatly shaken and he quickly offered bribe to St. Peter so as to be safe from further humiliation. However, St. Peter pushed him aside and took a whip and gave him the beating of his life. The Tortoise cried blood and called on St. Michael to save him, but St. Michael appeared and gave him dirty slap that brought out stars from his eyes. When he called on St. Gabriel to take a message to God on his behalf, St. Gabriel appeared and gave him a heavy knock on the head to such an extent that lumps stood out on his head like the twelve stones of the twelve tribes of Israel erected by Elijah before the prophets of Baal. On calling St. Raphael to lead him safely back to the earth, St. Raphael cursed him with seven demons and the Tortoise began to behave like a mad person. The whole birds rallied round and pleaded on the Tortoise's behalf. An arrangement was made for St. Peter to hear the Tortoise' confession so as to give the Tortoise his due penance. For several days, weeks and months, the Tortoise was still making his confession. When asked by St. Peter when he would finish, he told him, he did not know and added that he had just started. After several months, St. Peter told the Birds that he was tired and could no longer continue hearing the Tortoise's confession as it could go on for eternity. Again, he was furious with the Birds and told them that for bringing such confusion in heaven, that they would not be entertained at all. After another much pleading, St. Peter told them that because of their ignorance of who the Tortoise was, they would be forgiven and would only be given the magic ring, promised them by God and nothing more. Consequently, he went inside heaven, came out again and gave them the magic ring and told them that it was for all of them and shut the gate of heaven. Immediately the Tortoise saw the ring, he snatched it from one of them, claiming that St. Peter said categorically that the ring was meant for him who went by the name, 'All of you', a name he took before all of them while on earth. That made all the Birds very angry. Some wanted to fight him there but others intervened and said that doing that would be committing sin against God. In annoyance, each of them took back their feather and left. The Tortoise was left with no feather to fly back to the earth. In confusion, the Tortoise wanted to put the magic ring on one of his fingers but the ring disappeared. In its place, a great wind threw him out of the gate of heaven and he saw himself crash-landing to the earth. In utter fright, he screamed:
"Father, into thy hands, I commit my spirit."
Mid - air, he died. It took several months before his remains could get to the earth. After passing several mountains, hills, rocks, thick forests, etc, his remains were torn into shreds and scattered in different directions. Some birds saw it. When the birds returned to the earth, they told the animals what had happened to the Tortoise. There was great jubilation and feast. The animals thanked their creator for saving them from the tyranny, deceit and manipulation of the Tortoise. They then turned to worship the true God and to
re-organize their kingdom for the good of all.
KINGSHIP TUSSLE
Many years ago, the animal kingdom had the Lion as their king. Every animal agreed and accepted that the Lion was their king. Each animal respected him as their leader. That was because all, except the Elephant believed that the Lion was the strongest of the animals. The Elephant never hid his displeasure over such belief. He had on several occasions demanded that such acceptance without proof be abandoned. In order to prove further his point, he challenged
the Lion to fight him. That became news in the animal kingdom and a date was fixed for the two to prove who was stronger. It was also agreed that the fight would take place at the market square and that whoever won would be crowned the king of the animals. Every animal talked excitedly about the coming fight. Hence, the Rabbit and the Squirrel discussed it one day as they were going to the farm.
"Who do you think, would defeat the other?'' the Squirrel asked the Rabbit.
"Well. I don't know, but I know, it is going to be tough and bloody. As you know, these are two giants,'' the Rabbit replied.
"I thought like wise and...." the Squirrel tried to finish but was interrupted by the Tortoise who was passing by then.
"What are you two discussing?" the Tortoise asked them.
After few seconds silence, the Squirrel opened up and said:
"Well, we were talking about the coming fight between the Lion and the Elephant."
"Eehe, what about it? Is that why both of you left where you were going and were wasting your time talking about a useless matter," the tortoise queried angrily.
"What is your concern here?" the Rabbit asked the Tortoise in annoyance.
"I'm not interested. I can't understand why you can't make use of your God-given head. Why is it that the matter of kingship is based on strength, instead of, on the intellect and ideas?" the Tortoise queried quickly.
"That is your problem, not ours," the Squirrel replied, as they left the Tortoise who stood there not knowing what to say next.
CHAPTER TWO
THE TORTOISE' MISCHIEF
The matter of who would become the next king of the animals never stopped to trouble the Tortoise. He could not understand why he, according to his own self-rating, who was the wisest and the most intelligent of all the animals, should not be crowned the king. He wondered why kingship should be based on strength and valour. He became very much worried and unhappy. Hence, he refused food and went hungry. At a point, he got so angered and frustrated that he thought of what to do in order to put an end to that plan and make sure he became the next king of the animals. For, according to him, he needed power and authority, so he could lord it over the rest of the animals. After careful thought and planning, he decided to burn the farm of the animal kingdom and consequently cause famine in the land. Before burning the farm, he decided, he would steal all the farm-produce he could lay his hands on. When the 'D' day came, the Tortoise did exactly as he had planned. At night, when all the animals were asleep, he and his family went and packed all the farm-produce inside his house before setting the whole farm on fire. The next day, the animals woke up to discover that their farm had been set on fire and everything destroyed. There were lamentation and frustration everywhere. The Tortoise cried more than all the animals. He tried to hang himself but was prevented from doing so by some of the animals. In the midst of that terrible misfortune, a meeting of all the animals was called. In the meeting, it was decided that an oath was to be taken at the market square by all the animals, so as to make sure that no animal had a hand in the burning of their farm and to avoid unnecessary suspicion. That was because all the animals denied ever having a hand in the burning of their farm. The idea of taking oath was championed by the Tortoise who also used the occasion to tell the animals that it would be proper to review the quality of their would- be-king. Before the day for the oath-taking, the Tortoise went to a powerful medicine man who prepared a powerful charm for him so that the oath would not point at him. On the day of the oath taking, all the animals took the oath including the Tortoise, but the oath could not and did not point at any animal. That removed every suspicion as all the animals went to their respective homes satisfied.
CHAPTER THREE
The Great Famine
Soon afterwards, according to the expectation of the Tortoise, a great famine came and many animals started suffering from kwashiorkor. Hence, another meeting of the animals was conveyed in order to find solution.
"What shall we do, seeing that hunger is biting us very hard,'' the Lion asked the animals.
The animals could not talk as most of them were weighed down by hunger and fatigue. There was silence everywhere. That situation provided an opportunity for the Tortoise to sell his idea about the quality of their would-be- king to the animals.
"My brothers," the tortoise went on to speak. "As you can see, hunger is treating all of us badly. I suggest that as we have no solution to our problem for now, that whoever is able to give us food on daily basis should be crowned our king. We know that a king should be able to provide for his subjects in time of need."
That suggestion angered the Lion and the Elephant and they opposed it. That brought disagreement and confusion in the meeting. Hence, the meeting was stopped and postponed. However, the Tortoise was not deterred. He went from house to house, trying to convince them about his proposal. Those who proved stubborn to convince, he bribed with food. Before long, all the animals supported the Tortoise and were even saying he should be the king, with the exception of the Lion and Elephant. However, when the famine became severer, the Lion came to beg the Tortoise.
"Have you accepted that I should be your king," the Tortoise asked the Lion proudly.
"You are our king already. Please, give me food to eat before I die," the Lion pleaded.
However, the Tortoise told the Lion that he would give him food on the condition that he would announce to all the animals that he was no longer interested in the kingship and that instead, that all should join hands and crown the Tortoise king. Without wasting time, the Lion did exactly as the Tortoise had ordered him before he was given food. As for the Elephant, he was already suffering from kwashiorkor. He was not able to visit the Tortoise because he could not move about. Hence, he sent several apology messages to the Tortoise to forgive him but the Tortoise ignored him. It took the combined efforts of all the animals especially that of the Lion to convince the Tortoise to listen to the plea of the Elephant. In spite of the terrible condition of the Elephant, the Tortoise insisted that the Elephant must come and kneel before him before he could get any food from him. Consequently, in order to save the Elephant from untimely death, all the animals joined hands and carried the Elephant to the Tortoise' house where he knelt before him.
In arrogance and show of power, the Tortoise looked scornfully at the Elephant and shouted at him angrily.
"Have you accepted that I am your king?"
Worn out with fatigue and hunger, the Elephant struggled to breathe and muster enough strength so as to respond to the tortoise' question.
"Who is talking about kingship, my king and my lord," the Elephant managed to say.
Hearing that response from the Elephant, the Tortoise smiled mischievously and ordered:
"From today, you and the Lion will be my body guards. You especially, will be cooking my food, polishing my shoes and washing my pants, plus other works which I shall be adding as time goes on. Did you hear me?"
"Yes my lord. No, em, em, my king!"
Afterwards, all the animals agreed that the Tortoise would be their new king and the date was fixed for his coronation. However, they sent a message to the Tortoise that their king should also be a born again Christian, who would rule them with the fear of God. Consequently, the Tortoise announced to all the animals that he had become a born again Christian. He carried the biggest bible in the land and moved from place to place preaching the gospel of repentance.
"Have you received the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour," the Tortoise asked the Cat one day.
"Yes I have," the Cat responded quickly.
"You have not," the Tortoise countered.
"1 told you I have or are you the judge?"
"Then why do you kill?"
"But I don't kill."
"Then why do you kill the Rat or pursue the Rat to kill?"
On hearing that, the Cat did not know what to say again.
"Repent now for the judgment of God is upon you already. That is why no matter how much you eat, it doesn't appear on your body and you seem always hungry, as you go about crying 'mio-mio'," the Tortoise told the Cat and made his way towards the Rat's house.
On seeing the Rat near the entrance to his house, the Tortoise began to shake and mutter thus:
"Oh anointing, Robo Robo Robobo ushiiii," the Tortoise screamed.
The noise made the Rat turn and he asked the Tortoise whether all was well.
"All is not well. The God of Elijah has sent me to tell you that within ten days, you will die if you do not stop stealing fish. Oh Robobobo katikatikati robo bobobobobo ushiiii."
The Rat was surprised at that type of outpouring of anointing on the Tortoise whom he knew to be a fraudster, a selfish and ambitious person who stole by trick. However, he told the Tortoise:
"I have heard you and I will think over what you have said."
"It is not a matter of thinking, just repent and do what I said or there would be no more food for you from me, did you hear me?"
"Yes, 1 did," the Rat fearfully replied.
"Ingrate," the Tortoise cursed the Rat as he quickened his steps towards the He-goat's house.
On seeing the Tortoise, the He-goat smilingly came to welcome him. "Eeh stop there or do you want to transfer that your accursed odour to me, the holy prophet of God?" the Tortoise scornfully asked the He-goat.
"No ooo," the He-goat humbly responded.
"Now listen and listen for good, or am I sure you have ears?"
"Yes I have."
"Now hold them tightly and listen to me, you sinner and adulterer. He-goat! He-Goat!" the He- Goat answered.
"He-Goat!" the He-Goat answered.
"How many times did I call you?"
"Three times," the He-goat replied.
"The Bible says, one He-goat, one wife. But for you, God is wasting his time. Everywhere, all you know is 'piom piom piom'. Are you the only one that is a male? That was why God cursed you with a terrible odour. Ever , since, you have been polluting the air with your accursed odour. You must repent. Well, whether you repent or not, that's your concern. But be assured that when I am crowned king, you must answer the Environmental Protection Agency for polluting our God-given air. Again, you must use chain to chain yourself. For I have received repeated complaints that you don't allow the wives and daughters of your neighbours to rest even for a second. For the ones you have done, you must follow me immediately to my house and receive one thousand strokes of cain. You no fit hold body. Everywhere, you hear about HIV/AIDS and other venereal diseases but all these don't move you, womanizer. Better zip up or I would use knife and cut off that your male organ."
Immediately he finished speaking, he left for his house and the He-goat sadly followed him. When they reached the Tortoise' house, the Tortoise invited all the other animals. In their presence, he flogged the He-goat until blood came out from different parts of the He-goat's body. He flogged him until the He-goat fainted. It took the efforts of some of the animals to revive the He-goat back to life. Yet, the Tortoise told him that his lashes would continue whenever he recovered fully. According to him, he would use the He-goat to set an example for those who would not 'hold their body'. As for the animals, they were not happy about the whole thing but they remained silent for fear that if any ventured to say anything unpleasant to the Tortoise, such animal would not be given food again. Hence, as the Tortoise commanded them to be clapping for him as he flogged the He-goat mercilessly, they obeyed without questioning. However, some animals such as the Lion and the Elephant later begged the Tortoise to forgive the He-goat, but he scolded them and told them that they were Gentile sinners and knew nothing about the Bible. He told them that he was only applying the Law of Moses as Elijah did with the prophets of Baal and not the law of Jesus Christ. Nevertheless, he promised them that he would apply the law of Jesus Christ when the He-goat would pay his tithes and offering each time they were due. He used the occasion to remind all the animals about his coronation as king of the animals and enjoined them to prepare very well so as to give him a befitting coronation worthy of his honour. Again, he announced that they should prepare for a miracle night the following day.
CHAPTER FOUR
MIRACLE NIGHT
The following day, all the animals gathered for the miracle night. By 8pm, the event began. It did not take time the Tortoise came and as he passed in their midst carrying a Bible thrice his size, he ordered them to stand up for him as he 'the holy one of God', was passing. He mounted the pulpit and told the animals to expect healing, deliverance and salvation. He declared that they would see wonders if only they would have faith in him.
"You will experience wonders when you trust me to lead you to the promise land. I am Moses, Joshua and Elijah of our time. I am he who was anointed and sent to save you wretched sinners and hungry idiots," he asserted.
The animals asked him what would be the position of Jesus if he, the Tortoise was their saviour.
"I am greater than Jesus Christ. Soon, in my name, all knees will bow. In fact, last night, when I was in the third heaven like St. Paul, eating and discussing with the eternal father about your hunger, He told me plainly that He took Jesus as His favourite son then because I was not around. But now, old things have passed away and new things have come."
When reminded that it was sinful to curse somebody or call someone an 'idiot', he told them that his, was a holy sin and a holy curse. When someone was asked to start spiritual song that could lift the soul to heaven, the He-goat who was still recovering from the pains of the wounds inflicted on him intoned sadly:
'My home is over the sea
My home is over the sea
I am a stranger here
My home is over the sea
Laa, lala, lala, laalaa
Laa, lala, lala, laalaa
Laala laala laalaa
Laa, lala lala laalaa'
The Tortoise quickly shouted at him angrily and ordered him to shut up his smelling mouth. He gave him thirty three dirty slaps. He told the animals that the thirty three slaps were in remembrance of the thirty three years spent by Jesus Christ on earth and also for the remission of the sins of the He-goat that were crying to heaven for vengeance. He told them that God was very angry with the He-Goat and so hated the He-goat. However, he promised to continue to beg God to forgive the He-goat if the He-goat would 'hold his body' and continue to pay his tithes and offering to him. When it was time for testimony, the Tortoise' wife Anim came forward and gave a testimony of how the Tortoise cured her madness which had been troubling her for years. Then the Tortoise boasted thus:
"You have not seen anything. Oh if only you will have faith in me, even the faith as little as the mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, be lifted up and be thrown into the sea, it will obey you, chikina."
The Sheep suggested that the Tortoise should cure the Dog of his madness, for according to him, the Dog barked all night, even during the day and disturbed his neighbours especially him whenever he wanted to do his spiritual meditation. The Dog countered and defended himself. He told the animals that ever since the holy anointed one of God, the expected messiah, the Tortoise, preached to him, that he wasted no time in receiving not only Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Saviour but also Torti-Torti. He said since then, enemies had been fighting him. Hence, he had been invoking Holy Ghost fire, casting and binding the enemies. The praise and respect which the Dog gave the Tortoise in the presence of the animals pleased him greatly. There, he immediately announced that the Dog had become his chief errand boy. He told the animals that the Dog was saying the truth; that in his visions, he had seen the Dog fighting his enemies several times. Hence, he declared that the Dog was not mad but was only exercising his God-given gift as recorded in Gospel of Mark Chapter 16:16-18.
"Oh if only, you will have faith in me. He who believes in me and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be cursed like the He-goat. And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name Torti-Torti, they will cast out demons and fight their enemies like the Dog does. They will speak in new tongues as the Parrot; they will pick up serpents especially scorpions as you will see me do tonight, and if they smell any bad odour as the one coming from the accursed He-goat, it will not kill them; they will lay their hands on the sick as I laid hand on my wife Anim, and they will recover. Oh! Come over to me all you that are hungry and need food, I will give you plenty," the Tortoise declared.
Immediately, the Tortoise told the animals that it was time to show that he came from God and that God had sent him to the animals. He said he was going to pick up Scorpion as recorded in the Gospel of Mark, he had quoted. Earlier, he had bribed the Scorpion not to sting him when he would use him to show the animals God's power. However, the Scorpion had made up his mind to sting the Tortoise very hard. Hence, when he tried to pick up the Scorpion in the presence of the animals, the Scorpion stung the Tortoise very hard, to the point that the Tortoise shouted, cried and went into his shell to the great surprise of all the animals. Fearing that the animals would kill him, the Scorpion ran away. However, some animals were very happy that it fitted the Tortoise well; some were reserved as they feared that anything that happened to the Tortoise negatively might affect their food-ration. So they thought it wise to sympathize with the Tortoise when the latter came out of his shell.
"It was a divine accidental discharge permitted by God for the remission of your sins. You see, Jesus Christ suffered and mine will not be an exception. His, was even worse than mine. He was persecuted, rejected and killed by his own kinsmen, but mine will not be like that, before anybody will kill me, I will first of all kill that person, Allah," the Tortoise swore.
He told the animals that they should quietly go to their various homes and mourn as he, their king and savior had been wounded in a battle field. The animals looked surprisingly at one another and dispersed.
CHAPTER FIVE
TORTOISE PLANS SQUIRREL'S DEATH
Many days afterwards, news began to circulate that the Squirrel had discovered where he would be getting food without going to the Tortoise to beg for food again. That development greatly troubled the Tortoise and he became restless. He knew that if he failed to act fast, his ambition for the kingship would be contested. Hence, he made a plan on how to find out the source of the Squirrel's food and put a stop to that. In order to be able to get to the root of the source, the Tortoise decided that the best way to do that would be to make the Squirrel his special friend. So, one day, he told him.
"Look, Squirrel, my good friend. Two of us can join hands together and save our land from hunger. I have always trusted you. You can take charge of distributing the food in my house to all the animals. You see, ever since I became born again, up to this point that I now discuss with God face to face like Moses, I am no longer interested in any earthly things. I have plans that when I shall be fasting for forty days and forty nights in the wilderness like Moses, Elijah and Jesus, you will be the one controlling the wealth in my kingdom."
That enticing offer surprised the Squirrel and pleased him greatly. He also saw it as an opportunity to steal a lot of food from the Tortoise' house. Further, he saw it as a way to make himself rich in food and become powerful among the other animals as he had made up his mind to continue to get food from the new place he discovered. Consequently, he accepted the offer. The Tortoise smiled mischievously within him and told the Squirrel to start work immediately. From that day, the Squirrel started the food distribution, from time to time; he would excuse himself to go to the bush to ease himself. The Tortoise discovered that whenever the Squirrel went to the bush, he would spend a very long time before coming back. He noticed also that each time the Squirrel came back, he would be sweating. He decided to keep an eye on him. One day, when the Squirrel excused himself in order to go to the bush and ease himself, the Tortoise cheerfully permitted him.
"You don't need to take permission from me again. I am making you totally in charge of this place," the Tortoise had told him.
That statement of the Tortoise pleased the Squirrel greatly. Therefore, he joyfully went to the bush and the Tortoise quickened his steps and followed him from afar. When they got to the bush, the Tortoise hid himself and watched the Squirrel. The Squirrel climbed up a palm tree quickly and in a moment came down with palm nuts, corns and every kind of food. Quickly, he made for the direction of his house as the Tortoise watched from afar. Before he could get back to the Tortoise's house, the Tortoise was already in his house. The Tortoise discovered that the Squirrel normally went to the palm tree to steal the Birds' food. As he would not be able to climb any palm tree, he decided to find a way of making sure that the Squirrel was caught by the Birds.
CHAPTER SIX
THE BIRDS' MEETING
The Birds were at a loss over what used to happen to their food. There were accusations and counter accusations about who used to steal their food. Serious suspicions arose and at the end, they decided to call for an urgent meeting. However, quarreling and fighting did not allow them to come out with any meaningful solution to the problem. So, the meeting was postponed and the Birds went to their various homes. As they were going home, the Parrot met the Tortoise who told him to wait for him as he had something urgent to discuss with him.
"Ehee what is it you want to discuss with me?" the Parrot asked.
"Em, I am His Majesty, Messiah, king, Prophet, His Holiness, Most Reverend Doctor, Philanthropist: there are many other titles but let me for the sake of humility cut them short. I am His Highness Torti Torti. The ruler and leader of the animal kingdom and by the special grace of my holiness, the General Overseer of the Animal Pentecostal Church of Yahweh worldwide, the only surviving saint and God in the whole universe...."
"Please can you go straight to the point as I have so many other things to attend to," the Parrot cut in.
"Well, if you know who is talking to you right now, you would have been worshipping me by now. All the same, I don't blame you, but you have to repent and receive Jesus Christ, no, Torti, Torti, as your personal Lord and Saviour...."
"I'm leaving you if you don't go straight to the point."
"You see this your 'cho-cho-cho' talkative mouth; I put it to you that you must repent, walahi. Well, because I'm a saint, let me go straight to the point," the Tortoise said, paused and continued.
"As the holiest on earth and a seer, I was in the third heaven one night. I beheld the whole Birds in confusion over who usually steal their food. Up till now it is still a mystery to them who steals their food. I have come to tell them who used to do that and the next thing to do."
Hearing that, the Parrot became very excited and interested.
"Can't you tell me who does that, Holy one?" asked the Parrot excitedly.
"I can only talk when I am before the gathering of the whole birds by special invitation," the Tortoise maintained.
"Ok, see you here tomorrow by this time," the Parrot said and departed.
The Parrot reported the matter to his colleagues and a meeting between the Tortoise and the Birds was arranged. The Tortoise was given special invitation card that bore almost all the titles he mentioned earlier to the Parrot.
.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THE TORTOISE AND THE BIRDS MEET
"That must be a holy prophet of God," said the Sparrow to his colleagues. "Or else how come, he knew our problem without being told."
"Well, I will only believe him when we are able to catch the thief who steals our food," the Parrot cut in.
As the Birds were busy discussing the latest happening, the-Tortoise came in with a very big Bible.
"I give you peace," he told the Birds as he made the sign of the cross and reflected.
"I have come to solve your problem and give you life," he went further.
"The God of my ancestors has revealed to me that the person who steals your food is the Squirrel."
At the mention of the Squirrel, all the Birds shouted. While some condemned his action, others said he must be put to death. Without wasting time, the Tortoise left them and went home. Immediately, the Birds planned on how to catch the Squirrel.
The next day, the Squirrel went to steal the Birds' food and was caught. Without wasting time, the Birds killed the Squirrel and threw his body inside the bush. Afterwards, news came that the Squirrel was dead. The animals went and took his body and buried him and his funeral was held. As for the Tortoise, he was very happy. Thereafter, the Birds invited him again to repay him for what he had done for them.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The Tortoise Meets The Birds Again
The Birds were deeply touched by the way the Tortoise was able to tell them who stole their food. Hence, most of them believed he was a great prophet of God. They started respecting him and his words. Importantly, they thought it wise to repay him for his great revelation that saved them a lot of troubles and made it possible for them to catch the thief who stole their food. As the Tortoise was coming in with a big Bible, all the Birds stood up in respect.
"Today, this passage of the scripture is fulfilled. They shall look on him who saved them and do obeisance to the one who is their redeemer," the Tortoise declared.
When he had taken his seat, the Birds told him that they would repay him for the good revelation he gave to them. They said that there could not be any other greater way to repay him than his accompanying them to heaven to get the magic ring -that provided every kind of food and had all kinds of powers especially the power to make someone disappear and reappear at will. At the thought of that, the face of the Tortoise glowed and he began to think fast about what he would do. As he had no wing with which to fly to heaven, all the Birds promised to lend him each a feather. The date was fixed and each bird was asked to repent and do penance as nothing unclean would be admitted into heaven. The Tortoise said that that was for sinners and not for great anointed one of God like him. He boasted that he used to dine and wine with God every day. As for the saints and angels, he said they were his special friends who used to disturb him always for friendship. When reminded that St. Peter who used to man the gate of heaven would not allow any sinner in, he smiled and told the Birds that as soon as St. Peter would see him, he would command all the angels to minister to him and lead him to the throne of God. Again, he told the birds that as soon as he enters heaven, that all the angels and saints would bow and worship him alongside the eternal father. The Birds believed him because of the revelation he gave to them. The Tortoise also made all the Birds to take new names. According to him, it was written in the scripture that 'they were called by a new name, for old things are passed away, behold the new cometh'. On his own, he told the Birds that from that day, his name had become, 'All of You'. Later, the Tortoise thanked the Birds and went home.
CHAPTER NINE
TORTOISE SUMMONS ALL THE ANIMALS FOR
EMERGENCY MEETING
As soon as the Tortoise reached home that very day, he called an emergency meeting of all the animals.
"My little children," the Tortoise began. "I have called you, so that you will be my witnesses and know that I have told you this before it takes place. As I told the Gentile sinners, now I tell you. A little while, you will not see me, but a little while, you will see me, for I am always with you. I will not leave you orphans, for I shall come back to you. Yet not many of you are bothered to ask where I am going. But he who is with me is with me, for I always do his will."
Some animals then asked him: "where are you going?"
"Where I am going, you cannot come. I have told you this before it happens. That you may believe that I am in the father and the father is in me. Whoever has seen me Torti has seen the father. If I do not go away for a while, your daily food would not be assured. Anim my wife will see to your daily ration. The eternal father had summoned me to heaven for the great commissioning. So that at the name of Torti, every knee shall bow and every tongue will confess that Torti is divine, to the happiness of all. Thereafter, a magic ring would be given to me as a confirmation of my commissioning. Let not your hearts be troubled nor sadness overtake you. For in my father's house, there are assorted foods. If it were not so, would I have told you I go to get you food, food that will last. Not as your fathers gave do I give. As a sign confirming my words, tomorrow you will gather at the market square, look up to heaven for your redemption is at hand. Do not leave the market square until you have seen me and the heavenly entourage pass. I shall change into a flying bird, likewise all the heavenly entourage. As soon as you see us pass, bow your heads in adoration and give thanks to Torti for supplying your every need."
Immediately after these words, the Tortoise raised his eyes to heaven and continued.
"Heavenly father, the world does not know you, but I know you. If I say, I do not know you, I would be chief of liars. You sent me into the world and these believe you had sent me. Now, I am coming to you for a while. Of all those you have given to me, I have not lost any except the bad thief, the Squirrel, who wanted to stage a coup against your anointed one Torti but was mercilessly crushed by Amadioha god of thunder and again the accursed He-Goat, who because of anything in skirt had attracted your curse and unrepentantly had been polluting our God-given air. But I have assured him that when I come back, the Environmental Protection Agency would hold him responsible for such atrocity. Righteous father, keep those you have given me under perpetual obedience to my kingship, that none of them may plan another coup in my absence. So that the world will believe that I am in you and you in me."
With these words, the Tortoise ended his speech and the animals dispersed to their various homes. Many animals were deeply touched while some said unless they see the sign, they would not believe.
CHAPTER TEN
JOURNEY TO HEAVEN
The next day, the animals gathered at the market square to watch the Tortoise and his heavenly entourage pass. They kept their gaze up the sky, as instructed by the Tortoise. Meanwhile, the Tortoise and the Birds had gathered at an agreed venue; with the Tortoise carrying the biggest Bible of his life. Some birds advised him to carry a lesser one that could allow him to fly but the Tortoise refused. Nevertheless, each bird lent a feather to the Tortoise and some birds helped to decorate him with those feathers. When he wanted to test if he could fly with the Bible, he discovered that he could not. Hence, he continued to test bibles of various sizes until to his greatest surprise, he was only able to fly with a pocket Bible.
Having prepared, the entourage set off. Because of the pressure mounted on them by the Tortoise, they passed through the market square with the Tortoise at the forefront. When the animals saw the entourage pass through the market square, the animals who had gathered there as instructed by the Tortoise, shouted in amazement and wonder. Some of the animals, especially those who doubted before, were overwhelmed with great emotion while others were thrown into frenzy while yet several others were heard saying, 'Great is Torti, our God and king, blessed is he who comes in the name of Torti....' Some of them such as the Lion and the Elephant burst into uncontrollable song as:
'It is a great thing, to serve Torti
It is a great thing, to serve Torti
It is a great thing, to serve Torti
Walking in his own light
Chorus
Oh walk walk walk walk walk in the light (thrice)
Walk in the light of Torti
Many of them claimed they had seen the vision of Torti at the right hand of God the father. Others claimed they had received anointing and had spoken in tongues. However, when such animals like the He-Goat started shouting: "robo robo robobo tua mi mi minii mimimimi aaa".
Some wives of his colleagues quickly searched for their daughters and ran. But the He-Goat called them back and assured them that they were safe, as he was only acting under the influence of the great new anointing which he had received and not under the old madness of his male organ. Shortly afterwards, majority of the animals began to pray in the name of Torti while only very few
prayed in the name of Jesus. Yet, almost all the animals believed that the Tortoise was their expected messiah and they made offerings in his name to the eternal father.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE ENTOURAGE REACH HEAVEN
As the entourage got nearer the gate of heaven, St. Peter came forward and stood at the entrance. Immediately the Tortoise sighted St. Peter, he quickly raised his Bible up and smilingly went to shake hands with St. Peter. Seeing the Tortoise, St. Peter drew back in horror and shouted angrily in a loud voice.
"Who brought this stench here? Away with this murderer! Look, the eyes of God and His Saints and Angels cannot behold the sight of this filth. See, the stench of his sins is so great that it can pollute heaven and chase away God and His Saints."
At these words, the Tortoise was greatly shaken and he quickly offered bribe to St. Peter so as to be safe from further humiliation. However, St. Peter pushed him aside and took a whip and gave him the beating of his life. The Tortoise cried blood and called on St. Michael to save him, but St. Michael appeared and gave him dirty slap that brought out stars from his eyes. When he called on St. Gabriel to take a message to God on his behalf, St. Gabriel appeared and gave him a heavy knock on the head to such an extent that lumps stood out on his head like the twelve stones of the twelve tribes of Israel erected by Elijah before the prophets of Baal. On calling St. Raphael to lead him safely back to the earth, St. Raphael cursed him with seven demons and the Tortoise began to behave like a mad person. The whole birds rallied round and pleaded on the Tortoise's behalf. An arrangement was made for St. Peter to hear the Tortoise' confession so as to give the Tortoise his due penance. For several days, weeks and months, the Tortoise was still making his confession. When asked by St. Peter when he would finish, he told him, he did not know and added that he had just started. After several months, St. Peter told the Birds that he was tired and could no longer continue hearing the Tortoise's confession as it could go on for eternity. Again, he was furious with the Birds and told them that for bringing such confusion in heaven, that they would not be entertained at all. After another much pleading, St. Peter told them that because of their ignorance of who the Tortoise was, they would be forgiven and would only be given the magic ring, promised them by God and nothing more. Consequently, he went inside heaven, came out again and gave them the magic ring and told them that it was for all of them and shut the gate of heaven. Immediately the Tortoise saw the ring, he snatched it from one of them, claiming that St. Peter said categorically that the ring was meant for him who went by the name, 'All of you', a name he took before all of them while on earth. That made all the Birds very angry. Some wanted to fight him there but others intervened and said that doing that would be committing sin against God. In annoyance, each of them took back their feather and left. The Tortoise was left with no feather to fly back to the earth. In confusion, the Tortoise wanted to put the magic ring on one of his fingers but the ring disappeared. In its place, a great wind threw him out of the gate of heaven and he saw himself crash-landing to the earth. In utter fright, he screamed:
"Father, into thy hands, I commit my spirit."
Mid - air, he died. It took several months before his remains could get to the earth. After passing several mountains, hills, rocks, thick forests, etc, his remains were torn into shreds and scattered in different directions. Some birds saw it. When the birds returned to the earth, they told the animals what had happened to the Tortoise. There was great jubilation and feast. The animals thanked their creator for saving them from the tyranny, deceit and manipulation of the Tortoise. They then turned to worship the true God and to
re-organize their kingdom for the good of all.
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