I was revisiting the book I picked up the other week, methodically flipping through the pages, trying to find the most captivating parts. My calendar alarm suddenly went off. It puzzled me.
I had a birthday party to attend. Under the influence of the recent read, it had completely slipped my mind.
Quickly got dressed, nothing flashy. Threw on a casual blazer, a slightly wrinkled dress shirt, jeans, dress shoes. Watch, wallet, pen, lighter. All checked. I was ready.
Took a cab to a liquor store. I still needed to pick up a birthday present and a card for a distant friend's fiftieth birthday. He was much older than me, but you keep the ones who helped you when you needed it most.
I got to the store sweaty. The August humidity was justifying its presence. Picked up a respectable bottle. Scotch. Single malt. Signed the card. I was heading to the venue, casually late.
The party room was mostly filled with an older crowd, as I expected, comfortably dressed. Small place, very bright, high ceilings. Open bar. A cute waitress with perfectly done hair was frantically serving drinks. She was understaffed for the occasion. I was overdressed.
I had two beers from the bottle. They were warm. Disappointing. Made small talk about nothing. I was ready to leave. I hated interacting with people when I couldn't be myself. On top of that, they didn't have any whisky. I left.
I went to the nearest bar. They had live music on. I wasn't feeling it. Walked a little farther to The Keg. Worth the distance. Solid place. Low lighting. Bartenders always on point. An abundance of whiskies to choose from. I took a high-top chair and ordered a cold beer and a double whisky, neat.
The place seemed empty for a Saturday night. A young man in his early twenties sat alone opposite me, wearing sunglasses and a hat, drinking through a straw. Then I realized he was trying hard to pull off the peacock effect. Trying to attract some desperate, unexercised girl who might fly into his trap. Good on him.
Across from the bar, two women were finishing their dinners, each at her own table. The one closer to the window looked like a hard-working woman, drinking wine with a tired stillness. The other wasn't even trying. She was drinking an overly salted cocktail from a round glass. Both overdressed with simplicity.
I asked the bartender for a standard A4 sheet of blank paper. I had a pen but nothing to write on. I scribbled thoughts, ideas and future goals. All mush. Barely legible.
I finished my drinks, left The Keg and started walking north. With each step, feeling my shoes beat against the pavement, my thoughts flooded with distant memories. Where did it all get so wrong? When did I become so obnoxious? I was too low to the ground.
It started to drizzle. The wind picked up. I clenched the folded A4 sheet in my hand, crumpling the words inside it. Ink left marks across my palm.
I remembered a lounge on the twenty-first floor, quite a distance away, where most of your dreams could come true. I was on my way.
I stepped into the lobby with a drenched blazer and soaked shoes. My feet were wet. I might even have had a blister. Trying not to shiver as I passed the concierge, I only wanted to get to the elevator. Bright yellow lights blinded me. Everything was gold and marble.
The elevator doors opened. Empty. I stepped inside and immediately felt disgust. Rotten. Pungent. Food and body odour. I stepped back out. The doors closed in front of me. I felt empty. I'd wait for another one.
Made it to the lounge and felt relieved. I was comfortable in that room. A few empty tables. Low lights. Tall bookshelves filled with books and statues. Everything else was wood. I ordered a drink and took a seat by the window. Rain rolled down the fluted glass.
It was loud enough to create a humming sound in the air. I had a few whiskies to set the foundation. I was ready for some beers to prolong the night. My silence was interrupted by a woman standing beside me. I hadn't expected anyone to talk to me.
She wore a long black patterned dress down to her ankles, white-painted toenails, black heels with a golden bow. But that wasn't what caught me. Hot red lipstick. Curly brown hair just below the shoulders. Round earrings. White teeth and a wide smile. Curves that made the dress work harder than it should have. I was intrigued.
Again, I had a short conversation about nothing. We agreed on the same side of the argument. I wasn't impressed. Again, I was ready to leave.
She noticed my posture and heard something in my tone. I felt desperation in her voice. I got her another drink, paid the tab and left.
The last thing I said to her before closing the door behind me was:
Never sell yourself short.
