It was Sunday morning. I was on my bed, gazing toward the ceiling. Just like the rat cycle, it was an ordinary day—at least that's what I expected.
At that moment, I felt as if I were already dead.
No thoughts, no emotions, nothing.
I wasn't feeling anything as if I got hit by anhedonia.
Tap Tap Tap
Suddenly, I heard some noises from the window beside my bed.
But for some reason, I disregarded that noise and continued staring blankly at the ceiling.
Tap Tap Tap
But unexpectedly, the noise rose as if someone threw stones at the window.
Monotonously, I shifted my eyes toward the window, thinking about the noises.
Yet I didn't move at all.
The noises increased as time passed, and the window frame started shaking as if it would fall at any moment.
Sigh!
With a deep sigh, I slowly rose from my bed and paced toward the window.
As I reached out my hand toward the panel, the noise vanished.
For a second, I thought somebody tempted me to move toward the window.
I didn't know whether it would be dangerous or not, so I gripped the knob and opened the window.
My eyes abruptly opened as I saw a deviant view in front of me.
The clouds with a pink lining were floating in front of the window as if they were descending to the ground.
The sunlight became unambiguous, and the cold wind started breezing, messing with my black hair while giving me the tranquilizer to calm my worries.
Hardly knowing what was even happening, I jumped forward on the clouds.
Luckily, I didn't fall.
Gazing around due to the awakening of the curious cat within me, I started stepping forward.
Not so long ago, the surroundings around me started altering.
Some eye-catching flowers and trees started appearing out of nowhere.
As my blue eyes veered above, the blue sky started modifying into a raven night with millions of stars and galaxies to be seen, making me realize that I have entered some fantasy world.
Even after that unnatural phenomenon, I didn't get baffled, and yet I tried to be pleased with the moment.
It was the first time in my life that I thought of taking satisfaction in it.
Tip
"Hmm?"
Something got my attention.
I shifted my eyes to my left and noticed a wooden bench.
But while focusing my attention on the bench, I noticed a golden light coming from it.
Moving toward the bench, I noticed a letter on it with a red ribbon around it.
I picked up the letter and slowly opened it.
"Life is indeed an unprecedented journey,
Every moment is filled with many mysteries.
Yet thinking of it as a nuisance doesn't solve the problems,
Instead, trying to embrace it is very promising."
-Your Dearest
I was left solemn after reading these lines; the uneasiness started building up within me.
I gazed around swiftly, trying to find a way to find that person.
I started to run forward with a belief in seeing her, even if it was just once.
Soon after, I noticed golden stairs in front.
I felt as if they were calling me.
Without any second thought, I drove forward.
Millions of thoughts started running through my head, and my eyes were getting dry, yet I was running with all my might.
The stairs seem endless, yet my desire to meet her overwhelms me.
I didn't stop; my heartbeat started beating rapidly, yet I didn't stop.
I had made my decision: either I might die or I would get the chance to see her again.
I noticed a white light from above; whether it was a mirage or not, I followed that light.
Shortly after reaching the end of the stairs, panting heavily, I raised my gaze.
All of a sudden, my exhaustion vanished as I caught a glimpse of a world completely unknown to the one that I had glimpsed downstairs.
The voices of a variety of birds were heard, and some of them were even seen flying in the starry sky.
Different types of species were seen around me, yet none of them noticed my existence.
Shortly, I noticed a pathway that ends on the other side of a river.
Without any second thought, I started pacing forward on the pathway.
On the way, I noticed diverse trees that were inexplicable to comprehend.
Clang Clang Clang
Hearing the noises of vehicles, I raised my head, wondering,
'It's more of a different reality.'
I was sure that this was a fantasy.
"Finally… "
"?!"
Unaware of the fact that I had already reached my destiny, I shifted my gaze to my front.
"...we meet again."
As the voice of an angel rang in my ears, I collapsed in a flood of tears.
I, who rarely cried in my life, was sobbing deeply after seeing her again.
"A-Angelica…"
Calling her name in my deep voice, I was left in dismay about whether I was dreaming or not.
Yet, even if I were dreaming, I would wish to stay here for eternity.
If this love only exists in my dreams, please don't wake me up.
"Angelica…"
Calling her name continuously, I reached out my arms to touch her.
My heart started melting as I noticed a serene smile on her face, like that of an angel.
"It's been a while, Ray."
She leaned forward her arms for an embrace.
"Yeah, it is."
While trying to control my tears, I embraced her.
It was a warm embrace that I hadn't experienced in 10 years.
My body felt cold against hers, yet I didn't feel like releasing her.
Each of my emotions started melding at that very moment.
I was experiencing euphoria, yet I was miserable.
I was smiling, yet I was crying all along.
I had so much to talk to her about; nonetheless, no words came out of my mouth.
The pain in my heart started fading after meeting her again, yet the hysteria of losing her again was still there.
"Remove this facade, Ray."
She called out while caressing my hair.
I already knew what facade she was talking about.
But I had no answer to reply.
"Is it too hard to do so?"
She asked in her honey-like voice.
"It is…"
Ultimately, I replied.
It was hard to remove this facade. The facade that I was wearing, which hides my emotions, made me an emotionless person.
"How could I remove it? This facade is something that protects me from the darkness of the world."
I asserted, gazing back at her, and I added,
"My light had already been stolen from me; how could I even survive in the darkness? Even with this facade, I stayed in the darkness, and darkness is what I became. Without you…I'm nothing…nothing at all."
"You've suffered a lot, don't you?"
She asked, her voice seeming tranquilized.
I didn't say a word but nodded in response.
"I'm sorry…for leaving you like this."
"Why do you have to say sorry?"
I asked after hearing her apologize.
"Life and death aren't something that we decide. It is decided by the one who created us. There's no need for you to say sorry about it."
I told her. It's true: everything that happened in the world used to be predetermined.
We just played the roles that we were programmed to.
There's no such thing as an 'Accident.'
"Life is so unrepentant."
I called out.
Although I managed to understand the Law of the Gods, I still wasn't able to accept this monotonous life.
Sometimes, I wish to abandon every emotion and truly become an emotionless being.
But I couldn't; this emotion still had her touch, and I didn't wish to forget it.
Suddenly, I sensed a soft touch on my forehead.
Realizing her kiss, I raised my gaze at her.
She didn't say anything but continued to smile at me.
I didn't understand why she was not saying anything.
Then I realized that perhaps my condition wasn't something to talk about.
Seeing her eyes, I found myself deep within an ocean.
Millions of thoughts, along with millions of problems, just vanished from my mind.
As for the moment, it made me realize: Why not enjoy the moment while we still can?
I wiped my tears and smiled at her.
Even if it was for a little while, I wished to treasure that moment.
"Come with me."
She smiled and grabbed my left hand and started walking forward.
I didn't know where she was taking me, yet like an obedient child, I followed her.
Shortly thereafter, we arrived in front of the Golden Gate.
She lifted her left hand, and with a creak, the door opened, emitting bright white light at us and making me shut my eyes.
When I opened my eyes, I found myself standing over an endless lake.
"Ray, over here."
I heard her voice.
My eyes shifted toward the right, and I found her sitting on a long piano stool.
A smile shaped my face as I paced forward and sat beside her.
"It looks like we're back in high school."
"Right."
The nostalgic feeling took over me.
With every single key, many memories made their arrival, and it appeared to me as if a wave of memories started flowing in my mind.
The memory of when I met her for the first time, the time when we became friends, the time when we got married, and even the tragic moment when she left me alone.
While playing the piano, she placed her palm over mine and leaned toward me.
"Ray."
"Hmm?"
"If this moment lasts forever, would you be willing to stay here?"
It was a funny question.
With a little smile, I gently embraced her, replying, "If it happens, I'm willing to stay here for eternity. After all, I'm committed to you."
"Me too."
She replied.
Not so long, we moved closer; the tips of our noses touched, and soon our lips.
The tears started flowing from my eyes as the memory of our marriage appeared in my mind. I joined my hands with hers and lifted my lips.
"If it is possible…I wish to start everything all over again. I love you and always will, Angelica."
"This time…I'll always be on your side."
We closed our eyes and kissed again, and before I could realize it, the area around us got covered in light, and soon enough, it consumed us as well.
****
"Hmm?"
Something touched my lips as I slowly opened my eyes.
"Oh, it seems like you're awake. Good morning."
As I opened my eyes, I noticed an angelic figure in front of me.
Her eyes were those of an ocean, her skin was as fair as milk, she had a slender body, and she had shining blonde hair, giving her the appearance of incredible beauty. I saw my wife sitting beside me.
"Is it morning already?"
I asked while slowly getting up.
"Yes, it's already half past seven."
She replied with a heartwarming smile.
"Oh, I see."
I smiled, and shortly, a soft sensation touched my lips.
"You have work today. Get up, or you'll be late."
She giggled and slowly rose from the bed.
"Yeah, right."
I smiled back, then, suddenly, an engrossing thought ran across my head.
"By the way, Angelica."
I called her.
"Yes?"
Her attention shifted toward me.
It was rather an intriguing question, yet I thought of asking her as well.
I lifted my gaze at her, asking,
"Do you believe in reincarnation?"
"...."
For some reason, after hearing my question, a blank expression formed on her face.
However, shortly, a bright smile formed on her face as she replied,
"Who knows? Perhaps it is possible. After all…"
She leaned towards me and whispered gently into my ear,
"This world is like a fantasy."
