Session #5
“I have not been able to focus on anything for the past few days,” Abdoul said, looking visibly distracted.
Dr. Gill: What’s on your mind? Is something distracting you?
Abdoul: I find myself staring through the pages and the presentations, and nothing sticks.
Dr. Gill: Has this been a particularly stressful week? Is anything unusual at work?
Abdoul: Not really. I mean, work is usually calm around year-end. I still have some projects to evaluate, but it’s not that bad. I’ve been trying to keep active, you know? I go to the gym and do some boxing to relieve stress. It usually helps, but lately, it’s like nothing’s working.
Dr. Gill: Boxing sounds like a great way to manage stress. How often do you do that?
Abdoul: A couple of times a week. It’s a good way to let off steam, but with the blackouts, I’ve had to cut back. I don’t want to pass out in the ring.
Dr. Gill: It makes sense to be cautious. Can you talk about what happened during the presentation?
Abdoul: Well, the PhD was presenting his thesis on freezing bio-aging and graceful recovery. I was particularly looking forward to one of the least interesting projects this year. Midway, I just stopped processing, and when I came to, the fellow was finishing up. I had to excuse myself from the panel to avoid embarrassment.
Dr. Gill: What triggered this? Can you remember anything that might have caused you to lose focus?
Abdoul: That’s the strange part. I don’t remember anything in between. It was as if someone pressed fast-forward and skipped everything.
Session #10
“It’s happening more frequently now, Dr. I am worried. I got my CT scans done, and there’s nothing technically wrong with me.”
Dr. Gill: I spoke with your doctor, and she mentioned she wants to monitor you while you’re having these episodes. How’s your sleep? Are you getting enough rest?
Abdoul: I’ve been sleeping alright, but I do wake up tired. The dreams aren’t helping for sure.
Dr. Gill: What are the dreams about? Can you describe them for me?
Abdoul: Just… nothing really happens in them. I seem to be talking to someone about walks and maintenance.
Dr. Gill: Anything else you remember from these dreams? Any recurring themes?
Abdoul: They’re boring. Like nothing really happens. It’s like the seasons of Lost; it’s just a lot of talking and mundane work. I’m on some screens, like monitor panels, chatting about daily runs and tasks.
Dr. Gill: (Chuckles) That doesn’t sound very exciting. Anything else you’d like to share about them?
Abdoul: I’m not sure if it’s of interest, but I’ve been having them regularly.
At this point, Dr. Gill makes a note that Abdoul might be feeling a bit bored with his once-exciting professorship. Perhaps he’s concerned about retirement. Dr. Gill prescribes anti-anxiety medication to help manage stress.
Session #15
Dr Gill : My PA said you wanted to meet urgently. Whats the matter?
Abdoul : Thank you for accommodating me at the last minute. I wanted to talk about these blackouts.
At this point, Abdoul is already sweating and uneasy and jumpy.
Dr : Are you on the meds ?
Abdoul : Yes and No
Abdoul wants to pour out what he has got in his stomach
Dr Gill : Your doctor has been very clear that it is because you aren’t able to sleep properly that these blackouts happen. Your body crashes to get some sleep. This happens to be acute insomnia. You have to take your medications.
Dr Gill : Alright, relax. Have some water.
Abdoul sips and then chuggs and very carefully keeps it down on the side table.
Abdoul : This is not what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about the dreams.
Dr Gill’s PA, Paul, was always around, just outside the door, in case of emergencies. He’d been working with Dr Gill for years, handling the front desk, appointments, and anything that required immediate attention. Paul was familiar with the patients and their routines, always ready to assist.
Abdoul does’t wait for any affirmations and jumpts straightaway into. He explains to the doctor that the dreams aren’t stopping. Earlier they were just about planning walks for maintenance over and over again. And now,
Abdoul : I saw the window. I mean I looked through the window.
Abdoul’s almost gets up for the seat but then grips it back.
I saw someone in this white suit tethered to cables and with some screwdrivers FLOATING! And when they got away from the window, I saw. I mean I dreamt. No, I saw.
I saw Earth!
Dr Gill listens, taking notes. He knows that Paul is ready outside, just in case Abdoul’s anxiety escalates. It’s part of the therapy setup to ensure a safe environment for patients.
Dr: What do you mean?
Like our Earth. Like from the window. Like the planet floating. Like our Earth!
Abdoul waited for the doctor to react. The doctor crossed his legs and pulled his notepad.
Abdoul : What are you writing? I don’t need any more meds. I feel they’ve made things worse. Can you just…
Dr: Alright, go on! What about Earth
Abdoul :Well I am not sure exactly. It looked like earth. But also a bit different. I can’t place exactly but the land on it seemed pretty different.
Dr : How do you mean different ?
Abdoul : I didn’t see any of the features of Earth. I saw the blue, and the white clouds but a lot of haze. And I couldn’t make out any continents.
Dr : Seems pretty interesting. Does it mean anything to you ? Have you come across something like this ?
Abdoul :What do you mean ? Like have I seen any .. movies?
Dr : Or perhaps you’re reading something?
Abdoul had been reading French art novels hoping to quickly fall asleep. He didn’t quite know the language, but it helped get a knockout sleep in the past. Dr cuts the session as it did not seem like an emergency and asked Abdoul to come in on the next scheduled session.
Session #16
Dr Gill : How are you doing Abdoul?
Abdoul is a little silent and doesn’t answer.
Dr Gill : How is work ?
Abdoul : Work is work. I am wrapping up for spring break.
Abdoul seems distant as he plays with the coaster on the table
Dr Gill : That seems exciting. Are you planning to go somewhere?
Abdoul : I am thinking of visiting my friend at Stanford.
Dr Gill : That sounds awesome. How come you have never mentioned him before?
Abdoul : He is more of a colleague. I had met him in a conference 7 years ago. We’ve been in touch about exchange programs.
Dr Gill : So he is not your friend ?
Abdoul : Not in a strict sense
Dr Gill : Why did you then introduce him as your friend ?
Abdoul doesn’t answer. Keeps down the coaster
Dr Gill : Well, whats on your mind? Why are you visiting him then?
Abdoul doesn’t answer. His eyes are fidgety. He looks at the clock.
Dr Gill : Are you late for something? You seem in a hurry!
Abdoul : No i very much look forward to meeting you. Its just that I am not sure if you want to hear.
Dr Gill : hear what ? You can speak freely.
Abdoul : Its about the dreams.
Dr Gill : Of course i want to know. Typically recurring dreams are subject of trauma and thats pretty much what I specialize in. Speak freely. And if you see me take notes, its mostly that I can try and analyze and figure out whats keeping you up.
Abdoul : Alright. You asked!
Dr pulls out his notes. There now seems to be a difference in Abdouls posture. he seems a bit more relaxed and seems to be infact holding something back.
Abdoul : Most of the dreams have been of the same guy. I figured his name. His name is Clark Miles. We;ve been talking about the same stuff basically. We cross verify our data, check health status of the systems and ..
Dr Gill observes how Abdoul is now speaking as if this really is happening.
Abdoul : assign walks to repair or prepare to patch our softwares. But last week something happened. I was again at the window observing the maintenance … and yes these walks I figured are spacewalks by men in space suits outside of the ship. I’ve managed to figure that there is a section of the ship with ‘The Originals’. I am not sure what that is. Also, I noticed that Clark and I have longer arms and we are pretty tall…
Dr Gill observes that there is little doubt now. Abdoul has started to refer himself in the dreams. There seems to be a blurr between the waking and sleeping self. Abdoul looks and pauses.
Abdoul : Well ?
Dr Gill : Please continue, I'm just making notes here.
Abdoul : Clark refers to the ship as a Harbour station. Oh yes.. i lost my chain of thought. I saw the spacesuit.. the man.. . But this time I saw a small tube of a kind, like a small sub leaving for the Earth. I seem to be talking to the men inside the tube and wishing them luck.
Dr Gill notes the vividness of the dreams and how again Abdoul started talking in first person.
Abdoul : The maintenance and the numerous logs were in preparation for this project. I starting to pay attention to these details now. The name of the project was Project Terra 63.
Dr Gill : You refer to yourself in the dreams in first person. Do you find that strage ?
Abdoul : What do you mean ? Of course its me. How else should I refer to myself ?
Abdoul seems a little agitated at this point. Dr offers him water and asks him to relax.
Abdoul : Its almost me. Its me. But. The funny thing is I don’t seem to be able to exercise my own will in these dreams. You are right that it’s probably not me. But It almost feels that. Like I am watching, listening to myself acting, eating.
Dr Gill : So it’s you who is talking to clarke ?
Abdoul : It does sound like me. Maybe not. I don’t know.
Abdoul : I am meeting this friend.. colleague at Stanford to just discuss some of these details and understand if there is any sense to it
Dr Gill notes that Abdoul is willingly indluging and isn’t able to distinguih reality. He is sensing delusional behavior. Dr realizes that he needs to approach this with caution.
Dr Gill : May I know your friends name ?
Abdoul : He is a tenured professor in the physics department. Well, he now specializes in Philosophy of science. He has also planned to join me for some hikes with his students.
Dr Gill : That sounds wonderful. The hikes i mean. Make sure to stock up from your pharmacy. I will let em know.
Abdoul: Yes, I hope this does end soon. I can’t be like this anymore.
Session #17
Abdoul doesn’t come in and isn’t reachable on his phone. Dr contacts this friend just to check in and see if all is well
Professor Dall tells Dr. Gill that Abdoul left town about a week ago. When Dr. Gill inquires further, Dall mentions the dreams Abdoul had been talking about. Dr. Gill presses for more details, trying to understand if there’s something Abdoul hasn’t shared with him. Dall mostly confirms what Dr. Gill already knows, but he mentions that Abdoul described the dreams with incredible detail. Abdoul has been recording them right after waking up, transcribing them into his notes later. Dall finds it astonishing — the precision with which Abdoul describes the setup and mechanics of space colonists, the theories behind terraforming, and even organizations like the “Sons of X”
Dall explains that Abdoul’s notes suggest he might be researching on his own, fueling his dreams with whatever information he can find. The fact that he’s describing these things with such accuracy is troubling to Dall, who isn’t really close to Abdoul but is starting to see a pattern. Dr. Gill digs a bit deeper, asking Dall about Abdoul’s general state of mind. Dall hesitantly admits that Abdoul isn’t happy with the therapy; it seems to be doing more harm than good. Dr. Gill listens carefully, realizing that there’s more going on than Abdoul had let on during their sessions.
Session #18
Abdoul still isn’t reachable. He calls his doctor to check if Abdoul has been to the hospital. But learns that Abdoul is no longer her patient. Dr visits him at the university out of concern and appeals to him to come and visit him.
Session #19
Dr : Im really glad that you made it. I was a little concerned. I spoke to your friend Dall and ..
Abdoul : You did ?
Abdoul is very calm and there is no sign of any anxiety anymore. He takes a sip of water and keeps it back. There is an air of comfort in the way his arms move. His eyes are calm too.
Dr : Yes, you had completely gone off the grid. And I was concerned about your well-being.
Abdoul : Well you don’t have to be, doctor. I am all well now.
Dr : Alright. I’m glad to hear that and you certainly look sporty.
Abdoul : Im glad too that this is happening.
Abdoul had a smile that seemed alright but Dr suspected that this was not over. Yet.
Dr : How have you been sleeping lately?
Abdoul : Yes about that. Dr, I think we don’t need to do this anymore. I’m perfectly fine and I think I can finally give you your time back.
Dr : Well that’s for me to decide. How about you tell me how you’re sleeping lately? Any episodes
Abdoul : That’s what I’m trying to say. I’m sleeping alright and I've not been having any blackouts too. In fact, I’m embarrassed about the entire ordeal. I really wish you leave it at that. I’m trying to forget that it ever happened.
Dr : What happened? Do you want to talk about your dreams?
Abdoul : I’d rather not.
Abdoul shifted his weight to his left side and leaned on the left arm of the chat. Dr noticed the sudden change in his body language and knew that he needed to get what was simmering below the surface.
Dr Gill : Well I’m glad you feel alright. There is nothing that gladdens me more than this. Dall, your friend, however, expressed his concerns though. But I'm sure given he doesn’t know you, that is unfounded.
Abdoul : He said that. He is certainly not on my contacts list anymore.
Abdoul chuckled but seemed on edge. His eyes were fidgeting. Dr caught him looking at the clock.
Dr Gill : So, if this is the last time we meet. I want to know what happened in the dreams. Dall was also fascinated about them I don’t want to miss out on what you; 've been dreaming of. Are you still dreaming?
Abdoul: As I said, the dreams stopped. And for fair reasons I presume.
Dr Gill : Go on. I won’t take out my notes this time. This is the last session and all.
Dr tried to comfort him and was bordering unethical line of enquiry.
Abdoul : Clark and I.. were preparing for the return docking procedure of the sub pod. Do you recall that doc?
Dr Gill : yes. Is that of the project Terra ?
Abdoul figured that Dall had briefed Dr with the details of their conversation. Abdoul paused. Dr sensed that it didn’t go down well with Abdoul.
Dr Gill : I was merely concerned about what you and Dall mentioned about the dreams. I had to know if there had been any signs that would help me out in figuring out the trauma. to treat of course.
Abdoul sighed
Abdoul : .. The sub was to return today, and we saw it approaching the station. It needed to wait for a few hours to prepare for the docking procedure. Clarke and I monitored the approach, watching the sub’s trajectory and making sure it lined up perfectly with the docking port. It had to be slow and steady, using its thrusters to adjust as it got closer. The soft capture was smooth, just a gentle bump, followed by the hard capture where the docking latches locked into place. We had to check the pressure between the sub and the station to make sure it was equalized before we could open the hatch. It was a lot of waiting and watching, ensuring everything was safe and secure.
Dr was again blown away by the vividness of the details.
Abdoul : Can we take a break? I need to relieve my bladder.
While Abdoul was away, Dr checked his bag and found the notebook Dall referred to. Dr was hoping to find something, but not this. Why would Abdoul carry this around? He was in two minds. He kept an eye on the door while he took a picture of the last page on his mobile. Before he could make any words out, he heard the door open. Dr managed to put everything back and returned to his chair.
Abdoul : This must all seem pretty crazy to you. Isn’t it?
Dr Gill : I don’t like that word and you know that don’t you?
Abdoul : Sure. I would like to have a peek into that notebook of yours to be sure though.
Abdoul and Dr laughed it off.
Abdoul : Right, so the latch didn’t close in properly. Clark wasn’t too concerned though. There were failsafes for it and he started engaging them. I realized that there was something wrong. Well, I as in me, but in the dream I sensed that I knew that there was something wrong. You know like I was there but didn’t understand much anyway of what I was doing.
Dr Gill : Sure. Like you were observing but not in the agency?
Abdoul : Precisely. I then confronted Clark about it and there was an argument where Clark pushed me down and I hit a wall. I don’t remember much.
Dr observed how Abdoul reached to his head as if it really did happen
Abdoul : When I woke up. like not really, but woke up in the dream. There was this fog in my mind, and I could feel something sticky on my forehead. I must have bled, because it was all over my hands. Clark was messing with the wires, and I knew he was sabotaging the docking. The next thing I knew, the sub crashed, and the alarms went crazy. Lights were flashing, and I was struggling to stand. Clark was gone, running down the corridor, and I was trying to follow him. It felt like I was moving through a haze, stumbling along.
Abdoul started sweating and gripped the arm tightly.
Abdoul : The alarms were fading in and out, and everything smelled like burning plastic. I got up and followed the lights. I didn’t know where they were leading, but it seemed the right thing to do. Not that I was in control. As I said I was merely there in the head. The lights led to the pod room.. the escape pod room. As I entered, a blunt object projectile brushed my head. This time I was quick to duck. It felt a little off this time, it felt as if I knew it was coming and ducked intentionally. Like the me in this person. Exercising agency at will.. and all.
Dr didn’t know where this was going and his inkling was proving right with every passing detail of Abdouls narration. Abdoul seemed to be completely delusional now. Abdoul was recreating the event almost hysterically. Abdoul had actually ducked while narrating this sudden exercise of agency in the dream.
Abdoul : Clark was near one of these pods and had seen me come into the room. He was now sprinting menacingly with red eyes. Not sure if it was the red lights or pure rage that I saw. Before he could reach me, I managed to get hold of the thing he threw me at. I managed to pull an underarm which hit him below the jaw. He fell in one swoop.
Abdoul had again demonstrated the undercut with his fist which described the events. Abdoul did mention about boxing before. Dr apart from being concerned was also mesmerized to the degree that someone could craft such a beautiful vivid and graphic story for themselves. But he didn’t want to toy anymore.
Dr wanted Abdoul to stop as this session was now at a stage where it would be seriously detrimental to this delusional fallout. But Abdoul carried on. He was for all purposes not in the session anymore.
The smoke and fire had gulped the room.
Abdoul had tears in his eyes.
Clark was lying face down. The blood had mixed with the fire and the putrid stench of plastic melting and the fumes choked me. I covered my mouth in vain as my suit caught fire. I tried to reach the pod but fell a few paces short. I think I died right there with my arms grasping for something to hold while I breathed my last.
Abdoul had horror in his eyes. It was as if he was reliving his death. Dr pressed a button next to the lamp hidden from Abdoul. Paul rushed in, his concern visible.
Abdoul broke from the trance immediately.
Paul : Is everything alright? Mr Gill?
Dr. Gill looked at Abdoul, who was coming back to reality
Abdoul found himself again and sat on the chair immediately. Dr noticed the sudden shift in temperament.
Dr Gill : Yes Paul. everything is fine. The session is getting over. I’ll call you in for some water after.
Paul leaves. Abdoul wipes away his tears and his sweat. He drinks the water. With each gulp, he gets more calm and settles into himself.
Abdoul: Well that was embarrassing. Why didn’t you stop me? Well anyway, after that night, that dream all this stopped.
Aboul opened his palms to signal that it was over.
Dr Gill : And this is the truth?
Abdoul : Yes, I figured with that death. I can’t explain it. But it all seems in the past now. I now sleep and dream normally.
Dr wanted to end the session rightaway and figure this out on priority. He wanted Abdoul to have some closure right away in this session. Even though it was clear that he needed intervention.
Dr Gill : You’ve been sleeping alright since then? Dreaming alright?
Abdoul : Yes
Dr Gill : Do you feel well-rested after waking up?
Abdoul : Yes, And the blackouts aren’t happening. I did the tests again and the doctor confirmed.
Dr Gill : Do you mind if we continue to have these sessions ? Im pretty stoked that the dreams are gone. I mean those dreams. But I just want to help you deal with all of this and put this all behind you. Like in a healthy manner.
Abdoul was truly at peace now. Dr sensed that they should end the session now. Abdoul doesn’t say anything but nods as he gets up from the chair and leaves.
Abdoul : Let’s meet in a few weeks though. deal?
Dr Gill : Deal
Abdoul leaves and Paul walks in.
Paul : Are you alright Mr Gill ?
Dr sips water and his phone is abuzz from all the notifications.
Dr Gill : Not really, I got the scares then. I thought Abdoul was having seizures. Or he was going to harm himself.
Paul : Do you want to contact his doctor? or the authorities ? Do you think he is danger ?
Paul scrolls through his phone. And falls to his chair as he looks at the photo he took of Abdoul’s diary. It says
“Day 8 on Earth 2 : Searching for Project Terrabase”
Meanwhile, Abdoul wakes up on Earth 2
