The voice
THE VOICE
I hear a voice inside my head, though I dare not speak of what it said. For what it said was bad I knew, and more evil words there are so few.
You must believe I tried to fight. I held my will with all my might, through somber day, and restless night, I battled on against my plight.
I know my claim it must seem queer, but I heard this voice no else could hear.
Obnoxious and loud, as well as boisterous and proud, it’s presence was quite profound.
When first it impregnated my idle ear I shouted out in a yell, “who’s that, who’s here”?
Alone in my home with this presence unknown,
I tried to find reason for this audible treason. It must be a ghost or some kind of demon that’s come in my home and made camp for the evening. I thought surely this is the reason.
I picked up my Bible and read what was there, but this voice just kept going, it just did not care.
I must have been wrong in the source all along, but what other answer for my problem belongs?
A sudden break from my wonderings in vein, in the form of my wife had finally came. Through the front door in her usual way she entered our home with a greeting of “hey”.
I ran fast by her side and saw in her eyes she’d lost her breath when she’d looked into mine. My visible panic could not be denied.
But words had escaped me to explain what had plagued me. All I could mutter was simply just “save me.”
Her eyes grew wide and manners got frantic my state of unrest had caused her to panic.
Her worry was clear and mixed all with fear I cried out to “hush”, “That, did you hear”? I could see my problem still wasn’t quite clear. So I asked her again “that voice did you hear?”
Her answer “I didn’t” she gave in an instant I asked again “see there
what is it?” Again she said “hear it I didn’t, but let me try harder just give me a minute.”
After moments a few we sat there confused, she said, “it’s only us in this room, of voices I hear only two”. “We must find a doctor and see what to do!”
A phone call she made to set time and set date an appointment she said was in a few days.
“Days I can’t wait!” I shouted and cried,”every second I feel my patience is tried by this sudden affliction that appeared from inside”! “How did it get here”? “How long did it hide”? For answers not one could I find.
The day grew dark, and faded to night, and my demeanor grew darker a result of my plight. It was clear to me I was losing this fight, but one thing I never considered I’d try, for only an instant sparked in my mind.
It seemed so clear from what I could hear, no matter my reluctance, no matter my fear. I must do what it says I must simply adhere. For this is no demon its far worse than I feared. It is the unholiest being the sultan of tears. Satan himself resides in my ears.
I know I’ll be damned for following his plans, but the devils needs souls and of me he commands.
I’ll send only the worst to fill his demand.
The devil grows quiet to let me decide. Which victims are best, who needs to die?
No man should find need to have pondering as these, no man I know other than me. But I think I’ve got it this task I’ll succeed, I know what they’ll need and it’s requirements three, and all they must meet.
They must be remorseless about all of their choices seeking no savior to repent their behavior.
They must not be ones who can ever be cured the notion of good to them is absurd.
They must be a slave to their own desire, acts so depraved they’re worthy of fire.
The voice does not cease when I am off task no matter the reason or how much I ask.
It keeps my attention and always on mission never between victims can time grow too distant.
My old life is missing a faint dying vision.
In doing my duty I was earnest and true, I’d get covered in blood from head to my shoe, as I cleansed the world and gave the devil his due.
I went to my Dr and told him I’m fine, I’ve got my own treatment, a plan that’s all mine. He said “that’s good news then I won’t waste your time I’ll take a quick look for some peace of mind now say ahhh if you would be so kind.”
His worries set free I gladly agreed, there aren’t too many healthy as me, but joyous as we were my wife disagreed.
“There’s something not right I feel there’s unease. Something is wrong and it still goes unseen but I know we can fix it if you’ll listen to me.” I still can hear her voicing her pleas.
Our Dr was certain in what he’d determined, so he told her to relax and that I am not hurting, so don’t let her worries be such a burden.
I could see in her face she never believed it but she nodded to him then we retreated.
Once back at home when we were alone she sat by my side and hoped I’d confide, what it was that I was hiding inside. I looked for the truth, but I told only lies. I was afraid she would leave me, and from me she would hide, so I kept all my secrets I kept them inside.
With normal routine life grew more fluent. I found I was able to breeze right through it. Even I was amazed at how well I could do it. This is my life I love it, I choose it. Hard to believe I ever refused it.
My sweet loves reluctance which was once in abundance has as it appears seemed to absconded. Together forever we’re thankfully bonded.
Yes life was more perfect, it was all so much worth it l, this life I created how good to deserve it. But still from my head the voice I still heard it, I followed his method, and learned how to work it. I only found respite when the voice felt I had earned it.
A knock on my door, just a tap and no more, signaled a change like never before. A man with questions and photos of gore. He came in my home and wanted a tour.
He told me he found through his detection between me and some murders a concerning connection. I said I’ve done nothing to deserve this affection I am certainly not guilty of any transgression.
I turned to my wife with tear filled eyes I said, “I know this is a surprise but the devil controls me, and I choose who dies,I pick only the wicked, only those you’d despise.”
Her face was all sullen and covered with woe she said, “how can I love you when you I don’t know?”
“The devil is in hell, not part of your head, you should have got help like I had said, now life is all over what’s left to be said by morning you’ll wake up and I will be dead.”
I never believed what she said she could mean. She just needed some time and some kind of reprieve.
I awoke to find that this assumption of mine was not true at all no not this time.
First on my waking I saw there a note for the taking I opened it and at once began shaking. For no sense at all were these words making. This must be a joke surely someone is faking. Yet oh weary me, I was mistaken for my lovely wife in an act most forsaken has claimed her own life as her own for the taking. I found her not far just lifeless and hanging.
Her body just hung there and softly it swung, like a lifeless angel her body was empty, her soul gone to heaven her last song was sung.
After what seemed to be many years, I stood staring, my eyes filling with tears, arose that cruel voice which is heard by only my ears. The devil himself with his snickers and jeers.
In my rage I regret to say I had destroyed everything in my way. Oh God above has forsaken this day for when the officers came they took me away, they called me a demon and proclaimed to say, “for this you shall pay.”
I swore and I swore and I begged and implored but of my guilt they were totally sure and of my pleas they’d hear no more.
They said with great affection I could only be saved through a complete confession. “Tell us your crimes and we’ll give you protection.” “We’ll remove death from the juries selection.”
I told them the devil decided and it was I who merely abided. It was in her alone that I confided. But it is I alone that stands unguided. I am left alone I’m guilty why hide it. I caused it I won’t deny it.
Through all these trials and whoa the voice it still will not go, within my head it keeps its presence known, but what better place to find for the devil some souls then in a place like death row? so that is where I beg them to go.
Alone I sat in my somber cell when suddenly my solitude was broken, by angry words to me that were spoken. My attendance elsewhere he was provoking, there was someone here with questions who’s answers were worth noting.
So down the hall I was guided, told to walk ahead and not beside him, I was full of fear and felt like crying, but strength in me I found residing, I kept my eyes in a state of drying.
Finally I find myself in a room with the detective just him and me and no one else.
The one whose inquiries and accusations started all my protestation, and drove my love to her act so forsaken. Everything from me you have taken why am I here why was I waken?
He said to me in a voice so deep. “I need you to explain these things to me.” “Why are you linked to my crime scenes the ones where there are murdered so many fiends?”
I can not help but to gasp when I think of all of those vicious acts. “I took those souls for the devils tax, for he has made me swear his pact. That whenever called upon I must act.”
“Those evil men who fell by my blade, deserved every inch of that sharpened fate, you sir must make no mistake, those were not men their presence as human was all a fake.”
“So now you sit with me you’re before seeking answers that you simply implore.”
“I will speak into the mysteries I’ll reveal the secrets I keep keep.”
“Of souls taken there have been only twenty and seven.”
“I can not continue to speak of my evil until I have you admit that we are both equal.”
You see me a monster, a demon but if you believe we aren’t on a plane that’s perfectly even it’s only you, you are deceiving”. “In all honesty you are a better killer than me even”.
“You have the lust for the blood of the wicked”. “ Officer come now admit it”. “You simply have used the legal system, and all the tricks that come with it”.
“Your way is the gallows as opposed to mine, who merely had darkened alleys, and shadows within which to feed my need for the blood of men”.
“But make no mistake if anything from my words you take”. “It is acts of murder we make”.
“You may call it justice when you achieve satisfaction, it makes no difference the end result bears the same reaction”.
“A life is ended and yours continues,and as result of that continuation the Devil there in finds his means of satiation”.
“So clearly you must now see, we feed the same beast”. “I hope that brings you unease”. I then asked the detective if he could be honest and agree if he would be true to himself and me?The look in his eyes was all I needed to know inside he agreed.
He opened his mouth and out poured some words, but not one I can say that I heard.
He spoke ever so faintly, and I supposed when I did, what I did, that was what made me.
I say this embarrassed but a truth it is and I can swear this,but soon as he spoke I lept at his throat,and bit in using my teeth as a means to choke.
The blood in my mouth it was so warm and so thick I'm sorry if this makes you feel sick.
The firmness of muscles was strangely rewarding I clung to the man like a meal I was hoarding.
The gurgled cries I hear as he dies to me came as a tasty surprise, for this is the man, yes this is the guy, that made my sweet love decide she must die.
If never he came, if never he knocked then still she would be here with me,interwoven and locked.
A cacophony of sound and shower of blows suddenly rained down upon me while he in his death throes.
Beaten and battered with most bones shattered I was laid down mad as the hatter.
I wore on my face a grin so bloody and bold, I knew the image would never grow old. This is a story by all will be told till there is no one left who saw it unfold.
Time stood still, or perhaps moved fast ,the only thing known is it steadily past. One can only wonder how much longer this lasts, sitting alone aside from the rats.
Like the ticking of moments on a set timer the sound of foot steps grew ever higher.
I know not excitement, or fear, nor shall I shed for them a tear, though I know it’s the the day of my death that’s why they’re here.
In a chair made of wires and wood, they sat me down and placed on me, a hood. I thought to myself this ought to be good, I’ll die like a villain, like I knew that I should. No one will save me for there’s no one that should. I’ve done too much evil not enough good.
It was then my eyes opened I was laying in bed could you believe that was all in my head.
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