THE SWAMP

THE SWAMP

Scene One: The Invite

I got home from work at the swamp earlier than usual. Betty was gone but must have brought in the mail before her shift on the plain. She didn't open anything, but there was a stack larger than normal on the dining room table. I fiddled through the stack which had all the usual bills and credit card offers, but one particular envelope stood out from the rest. It was rather large and had an ornate golden envelope with intricate calligraphy on the front spelling out both Betty and my name above our address. I dropped the rest of the stack on the table, and walked to the refrigerator to get a beer with the special golden envelope in my hand.

I cracked the beer, took off my jacket, hung it on the rack, walked to the living room, and undid my tie. I sat down on the couch and heard myself make an audible sigh. I sipped from the beer and put it down on the coffee table. I slid my finger underneath the closed edge of the golden envelope and pulled out the large card, also written in very decorative lettering. It was addressed to both Betty and me. It seems the Eagle has called all the animals from the swamp, the plain, and the forest to a special party, where he feels the need to talk to us "in person." I threw the card back onto the coffee table and turned on the local news. I thought about texting Betty, but she probably just got to the plain and is organizing the regular riff-raff, or at least being annoyed about the regular shift change nonsense.

I was asleep when Betty got home. She did her normal routine in the adjoining bathroom that always wakes me up because it is rather noisy. After some time, she slips in next to me, kisses my face and says, "Goodnight, Doll." I smile, re-fluff my pillow and turn over and go back to sleep.

In the morning, we have a moment to chat before we both had to run off to our respective jobs at the swamp and the plain. I asked Betty, "Did you happen to see the 'Golden Envelope?'" She turned from the stove where she was making breakfast and said, "No. What are you talking about."

I walked to the living room and grabbed the envelope from the coffee table. I brought it to her, handed it to her, and I said, "Get this." She stood in place, opened the card, read it rather slowly, and said very confused, almost mistrustingly, "Is this for real? He really thinks we all want to come to see him talk?" I just shrugged my shoulders as if to say, I couldn't care less. And you know what? I couldn't care less. The Eagle is not on my list of someone I need to see on any regular basis.

Scene Two: Car Service

After two weeks of going back and forth, Betty and I decided we were going to go see the Eagle talk. First, neither of us wanted to go. Then, out of nowhere, Betty told me we needed to go. I mostly think it was because of Marge, who Betty works with on the plain. Marge somehow convinced her she should not miss it. I personally think Marge could talk Betty into doing anything. Note to self: Maybe I need to be better friends with Marge?

The night was upon us, and Betty and I sat in our bedroom, both of us nervous about what we would wear to the party. I liked my old suit. Betty liked a really tight-fitting dress she bought before we had even met. She vetoed me and I vetoed her. We ended up wearing very simple but classic outfits. I remember when we stood together in front of the mirror, just before leaving, I thought in my head, damn, not too bad for a guy from the swamp and a girl from the plain.

We got picked up by a car service. Our driver, get this, was an African Grey Parrot. Oh my god, what a chatter box. Dude never stopped talking. Of course, Betty was in heaven. I could have jumped out somewhere around the south edge of forest, and neither of them would have even noticed I was gone. I endured their "wonderful" discussion about how he had learned to sing opera in nine different languages. Betty just kept talking about when she used to be a dancer and I didn't mind because it caused a glint of happiness to her eyes.

Around the forest and really deep into the swamp, our crazy parrot driver finally dropped us off. I gave him a nice tip on the app, because Betty seemed to love the guy. She actually smiled at me and said, "Wasn't that the most wonderful driver we have ever had?" I nodded like I agreed, but I didn't.

We were here. The Eagle summoned us, and many others. Marge convinced Betty to come. It was held in the really swanky north end of The Swamp. It is like 18 miles from where I work and the term "The Swamp" doesn't really describe it. It's more like a lakeside Festival, especially the way they did the lighting on this particular night. And wow did it make Betty look great. I was so proud.

Scene Three: Entrance to Special Party

We walked up the staircase to the venue and two Chimpanzees, who were checking IDs and invitations at the door, checked our credentials and welcomed us in. I remember thinking, 'I could take the Chimp on the right.' Then my brain quickly reminded me about how Chimps are known to rip their prey apart using just their muscles before they eat the poor bastard. And something in Chimp number 2's face, said he wanted to bite my face off. I honestly didn't want to find out. I quickly ushered Betty over to the bar to get a drink.

We ordered our drinks from the bartender, who was very shaky and nervous Beaver. I thought maybe he was on drugs, but he pretended to be very happy to see us, but also seemed preoccupied and a little stressed, like he just wasn't prepared for the night he signed up for or really just didn't care to be here anymore. Betty tipped him big anyway, as she does. We moved to the main ballroom, past a whole bunch of sheep in the hallway, who all seemed to be standing there nervously or like they had an agenda. It was so strange. So, so strange. I had to turn around when we made our way past them, to look back and make sure I did actually see what my brain just processed.

When we entered the main ballroom, my eyes could not stop scanning the room. Animals from the swamp, plain, and forest, all dressed up, some who you would think would not have a cordial bone in their body, were actually being very charming. Can you imagine a Wolf making a Bunny Rabbit laugh? From my vantage point, I also saw a Heron buy a round of drinks for a table full of Frogs. In any other setting, two of those Frogs would have been down that Heron's gullet before they even saw him coming.

Betty and I found our table and ordered another drink from the nice Otter serving our section. The lights dimmed and an odd and strangely weird mix of animals, who probably should not be in a band together, played slow jazz. I thought it was horrible. Betty seemed to like it. Even though, I rubbed Betty's shoulders and she smiled at me. We waited. And so did everyone.

Scene Four: The Eagle's Speech

The Eagle stepped to the podium with little fanfare. He started, "Thank you all for accepting my invitation to be here tonight. I see many of my friends, from the other end of the Swamp, and also friends from the plain and the forest. I hope you all feel welcome. It pains me in ways I cannot tell you, but I have a very distressing message to let you all know." Ther was a very long pause. We all sat waiting. He then restarted, "It has come to my attention that those who support me the most?yes?I'm looking at you Sheep, have been being 'bullied' and do not feel safe."

Without me realizing, the Sheep had already entered the ballroom from the hallway and had the entire ballroom surrounded by standing very closely to the walls around all the banquet tables. There were more Sheep in the room then any of us, and I started to feel uncomfortable. By the look on Betty's face, I could tell she felt the same.

The Eagle continued, "I can no longer support the policies, politics, and ideologies of the Coyotes. They are no longer welcome in any part of our community. If I could, I would extinguish each and every one of them. I would, at the very minimum, make them wear a symbol that would tell us they are enemies. If I could, I would burn them all and their children in heat chambers we have been thinking about building in the western part of the plain."

My head swiveled. I looked left and right to see if there was a Coyote in the room. As my eyes searched, all I was able to catch was a door closing rapidly, like one or maybe many of them heard and had run for the hills.

To both Betty and my surprise, the room burst into applause. But it was mainly from the Sheep, who had been standing in the hallway on edge since we walked in. I looked at Betty and asked if she was ready to take a car service home. She gave me a weird wrinkled smile as if to say, "Yes."

I called the car service and sat and wondered what would become of the swamp, plain or forest without Coyotes. Why would this be broadcast so publicly by the Eagle? Is it even legal? Does he have a right?

Betty and I just sat in silence on the ride home. She held my hand the whole time we were driven home and she lightly rubbed my forearm. Her action seemed to say, "Is this really the world we live in now?"

I stared out the window completely lost in my own thoughts.