It wasn't a love at first sight. Hell, it wasn't even love. Or, I think so.
I only talked to her that way, no one else knew about that side of mine.
I have now started to think that New Years are stupid. Every year we all gather to celebrate the same old festival, with the same old fake enthusiasm. Deep down, we all know that a changing year isn't some magical time when all our worries burn away in the light of the rising Sun of the New Year. Still, we all keep a hope, hidden somewhere deep down in the darkness of our heart, that as the clock strikes 12, our life will suddenly emerge from its own ashes, like a beautiful and golden Phoenix.
For me, though, even this hope had now fallen into the depths of my mind, too stupid to even think about. At least, that's what Isla said. She said, "Even the thought about leaving me is stupid," with a laugh. The laugh that I had once fallen in love, but now come to resent so much. And its not like I could even leave her, I don't want to break her heart.
Iz: she said she was the girl of my dreams. She told me that I was lucky to have fallen in love with her; she just doesn't date anyone. My friends kept telling me that she said the same to all her boyfriends, but surely I am different, surely I was the one for her, as she kept telling me she was for me.
We dated for 6 months, and they were the best 5 months of my life. From the 31st of July, 2024, I felt that I was soaring high above the clouds. But the altitude soon started dropping, as was bound to happen with only one wing flapping.
December was ending, and my life seemed perfect. I was with the girl of my dreams, I was well on top of my studies. Sure, we started fighting - a lot - but that was bound to happen in a relationship. Such fights ultimately bring us closer, don't they? Even if we stay apart an entire month, it is jjust a way for us to recover right? Thankfully, it had started snowing. The snow and the cold always makes me feel better, then why did it not this time?. Silly Iz kept forgetting how much I enjoyed Winter, just like she forgot my birthday, forgot my big game, forgot about our 3 month anniversary. But of course, she also has her own things to worry about, and she kept saying that she loves me and no one else, so I guess its alright. I had hoped that she might maybe remember our 6 month anniversary at least, I had planned out a perfect date. Just the two of us, a candlelight dinner at her favourite restaurant, a scenic stroll down the beach, watching the fireworks, and finishing this year with a romantic kiss at the stroke of midnight. It seemed too good to be true. Unfortunately, it was.
I woke up on the 31st, filled with an insurmountable energy. I checked and double-checked and triple-checked all the preparations. I was so nervous, I forgot to check the most important thing: Iz.
At 10pm, after calling her a million times, searching for her everywhere, she finally called. She said,"Hey, I'm sorry but I can't go out with you today."
"Why?", I asked, with a mixture of surprise and shock, but alarmingly, no anger.
"We need to break up." She said.
And just like that, it was all over. All the time we spent, all the laughter we had shared, gone.
No words escaped my mouth. How could they, with tears streaming over my lips, the same ones that would have kissed the girl of my dreams. All I could do was fall down on the sand, at her favourite beach, where I had seen her kissing another boy, right in front of my eyes. Now, I can't even recall what she said to me to make me forget all about it.
"Hey? Hello? Are you there? I have to go, so, uhh, bye, I guess."
BANG! BOOM! BADOOSH! The fireworks started going off in the distance, their light spreading out through the tears in my eyes. Golden and Blue and Red they were, all her favourite colours, the Golden of the beautiful Sun, the Red of the colour of her lips, the Blue of the vast Ocean where I had first saw her. All of them colours on the cake he had made specially for her. But now, they were the painful Golden glare of the Sun, the Red of flowing blood, the Blue of the colour of his pillow, the one in which I cried everytime she did anything wrong. How stupid coud I be, why didn't I see any signs earlier, why did I think this year would be mine?
As I lay crying on the sand, all he could think of was her. Everything else was forgotten, the chill of the midnight air, the noises of the fireworks, the shouts of the people counting down to the New Year's.
"Three! Two! One!", they shouted.
"Happy New Year!", said a voice, a kindly voice, a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"Are you okay?", she asked.
Was I?
