I woke up shaking, clammy, and cold. Looking around slowly, I see the window is open, and a chilling breeze flowing through the window gives me goosebumps that rush over my whole body. Noticing nothing is as it seems, when only moments ago I was laid next to my husband, I thought to myself, "What's going on? I feel confused. Where am I? Could I be back?" I thought to myself, "No, I can't be." I started pinching myself, becoming more and more aware of my surroundings. The panic quickly set in, and sadness filled my heart. I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes when a sudden rush of homesickness hit me. Only then did I realize I must have woken up.
Was this all just a dream? I drew my knees up to my chest, wondering if and how I can get back.
What I thought was a dream would turn out to be 100 years in another time where time itself felt and ran differently from here, a time where there were only two people, one from the dream world and the other from here, reality as you the reader and I myself.
Two years would pass before I would share this short yet long story. An unbelievable event led me to love and purpose that gave me the courage to not give up on myself no matter what challenges arise. He taught me to keep fighting and follow your heart, to not see with your eyes only but your heart as well, and to always love like it's your last day, to smile like you are kin to the sun, and rest like you are kin to the moon.
I can feel the warmth of the air gently blowing over us. I can even taste the berries we once picked together. This heavenly place where only him and I existed was never scarce or bitter. Only once, for a glimpse upon my arrival, I felt uneasy, but everything was so bright and youthful, and a sense of eternal peace covered the mind. All stress and anxiety quickly faded as soon as I arrived. I felt the depression dwindling away, the silence a peace he held onto where him and I could communicate through nature. His touch and constant attention towards my well-being were all blissful and rare compared to my usual reality. 100 unbelievable years actually turned out to only be one night. I'll never forget his helpful hand and kind heart, although I'm not able to go back. I'll never forget that man and how he saved me, he comforted me, and held me. He showed me what it means to find purpose in our life. Turns out one's purpose isn't always for yourself or your choice but more like a waiting game of patience, a teaching where you never really get the right answer, a salvation of chance for spiritual growth.
I trust wholeheartedly that this man who took me on endless strolls and stargazed on top of the biggest rocks you could imagine where the stars are practically in your hands, and the 1000-year-old wine, it's bittersweet fragrance of peach blossom and grapes, the limitless intimacy we shared together, the unconditional trust I felt, I knew this is where I belonged. This dream was my home, my one lifetime well spent overnight.
Time continues to pass, but not a day or hour down to the seconds can possibly go by without thinking about him and that place, wondering how he has been, pondering if I could ever see meet him again in another dream, but 2 years and nothing. I will always remember him, and he will always have a space in my heart.
A broken heart is like a rock that hits still water.
- The night my heart and world were turned upside right.