People change, things change, times change. But me, I’ve never seen myself change. I’m still the same, same like before, someone who would even have powers to change them but would refuse to. I like people; I like being with them and spending my precious time with them. The time that I would invest in other important acts but I would use it to keep my close ones happy. I like being me, someone who cares, and someone who knows the worth of people and how to value them. I’m the type people crave for, but when they receive their craving they forget the value of it. People evaporate; they stay for a while, take all their advantages completed by me and make all their planning’s to say a “goodbye”. They say people aren’t here to be with you at all times. They say true for a fact, but I, I never took this seriously, I always thought that people come in your life and never leave. I always thought people feel the same way you feel for them. But I was always wrong; I was always proved to be wrong. Still waiting! Hoping that one day I’ll  prove myself right and people will come up to me and say oh you, where were you from all this time? I’ll be standing there with a big smile on my face seeing that there are people like me. But sometimes it’s not about people, they always don’t have the courage to handle things because they are not able to do what they want, they are forced to go away by luck. There is a point of someone’s arrival and someone’s departure, but I never took this seriously. I always thought people come in your life and they stay forever, but I always had this wrong representation.

Everyone has a different definition of life in their dictionaries, but me, I think a lot different, I think beyond what shouldn’t be thought of. Life! For me the definition of life surrounds me around people to see how well I cope with them, how I manage to be with them for life time. But when I got close to people, they decided to leave me and broke me apart. But I came to know that this is true life, living alone without people, but still hoping they’ll be all there for me. Without the hopes of my loved ones being with me forever, the people I called forever friends, the ones I loved with all my heart, but at the end I came to know the reality of life. So they left!

You will be blessed if you have a life time special. You’ll have all those happiness, the ones everyone needs. The care and support is all one needs to be living happily, otherwise life feels like a jail. A jail where you’re just spending days of breaths left that is given. It’s necessary, trust me you need people in life to spend the best quality of life. Yes! Not always people are necessary, but at times you need them to have at least someone’s support.

The feelings of animosity did make the distanced more distance. The feelings of departure; even thinking of it makes me feel like I’ve lost my world. Feels like I have no reason of breathing, trust me it hurts! It even got worse, when I kept high expectations from a special but as always they ended up breaking those expectations, not in a simple ordinary way, but in a way that when a human breaks they can never be repaired again. It’s just like oxygen to survive but I just needed that one person to live and that was my meaning of life.

 I go out, with confidence and to make new friends, hoping to meet someone and keep them close to my heart like someone would keep a loved one. I found this person who I got the vibes of forever friend, so I decide to make them my friend, not just a friend but someone I would glue to myself. I am with them at all times, in their hard times and in their happiest times. We make calls together, but more of those video calls, because we weren’t able to live without seeing each other every day. We got close! Without the fear that one day unfortunately they’ll no more be with me. It got worse when I came to know that they were everything. Without even knowing what they thought of me, never saw if they actually took me seriously or not, and hoped they’ll be mine forever. The fights I had with my past friends just for that one new friend, hurt even more because they too decided to distance themselves from me. They all made me realise that I will be left alone, but no I always do what I want. I also did the right thing but I kept no distance, and one day, the day of my life which I would never forget, the day when they left me. The day I was left alone with tears and my dark humoured room in which I entered once a fortnight. I was left aside dreaming of new people to land once again on my destination. The same went on, met new people, made all my goals and dreams with them but as always, at the end of the day, the day has to come when they leave onto their own ways. They made a new destination their home, brought themselves more happiness, a place where they could make new memories and just be them. Unlike me who never dreamed of being alone, of living alone like the one has to at some point of life. I was never able to be myself, was never able to show people who I am, I was never able to show the world what I can truly do; I was just never able to. My life had lots of ups and downs, in which I named as the ups and downs of people leaving me. The ups and downs when people leave to their own ways, to their own future goals, but I, I still stand on the same dot stuck in a word that “they went for a while in which surly they’ll come back soon”. But in reality it goes to the point that once a person leaves your life, they leave forever.

People are supposed to come in your life and teach you their lesson that is the main meaning of someone’s arrival. When a close friend left, I made assumptions all on my own, thinking how bad they were. Thinking of the pain they left me with, without finding their perspective I built my own words from them. In that phase of life, it wasn’t me but someone else. I was someone different, a whole different person. I was someone who would never make my own point of views, but at that point of time, I was just a living soul. Trust me, it hurts! It hurts seeing people leave. It hurts when someone leaves you behind. It hurts when you see your closest one with a new one. All this just breaks you apart. I thought about all those days in sorrow, in the toughest times of mine. I lost all my hopes, the trust on people too. After those phases of life, I was never able to trust a single soul, I was named as an anti-social person, now when I think of it I feel embarrassed. Thinking how dumb I was, crying for people to stay in my life, crying while missing them, making new hopes, I was that dumb. But now it all changed. From being a dumb person I’m now a smart one. Who is aware of this world, aware of what’s going on and what people think about you? Now I know my importance, I know the reason why I’m sent into this world. It’s not to beg for people to stay, but to make myself challenge to live my life my own way. Without anyone ruling me, because I strive to be me, which no one can stop me to do? One day, one day I decided that I will move on and leave the past people behind, I decided to part my ways from people who were never truly mine. I made my list of people who can be mine, not mine in general but someone who I can spend some time out from work, people who can give me some time entertainment. So now I’m standing here, without the fear of any loss because now they all left me confident to decide upon my own life. I’m here living freely, living with my own rules. I will now show who I am and what I truly can do!