He pulled out his ingredients: flour, eggs, milk, and syrup. But the more he looked at the pancake recipe on his phone, the more it seemed like a foreign language. "Whisk the dry ingredients together. Stir until smooth. Add butter to the pan," it read.
Greg wasn't sure if he was supposed to whisk or stir. He didn't have a whisk anyway, so he just used a spoon. It didn't seem to make much difference, but his batter looked more like wallpaper paste than something you'd want to eat.
Undeterred, Greg threw the gooey mess onto the stove. He turned the heat up way too high because the recipe didn't mention how hot "medium heat" was. The batter immediately turned into something resembling a volcanic eruption.
He tried flipping the pancake. It didn't flip. It flopped. The thing stuck to the spatula like a toddler to a candy bar, and the pan was now a battlefield of pancake casualties. The kitchen was coated in a mix of batter splatters and Greg's sweat.
Just then, his friend Bob walked in. "Whoa. What happened in here?" he asked, staring at the disaster unfolding on the stove.
"I'm making pancakes," Greg said with determination, even though his shirt was now covered in flour and pancake debris.
Bob took one look at the sad, burnt mass in the pan. "I think you've invented a new form of brick."
"I'll call it? the Pancake of Doom," Greg said proudly.
Bob raised an eyebrow. "Maybe you should just stick to microwaving popcorn."
Greg nodded solemnly. "Yeah, but at least I'll never forget my first attempt at pancakes. It'll go down in history. Or at least into the trash."
As they both stared at the charred remains of Greg's breakfast dreams, Bob couldn't help but laugh.
"Well," he said between chuckles, "you've certainly flipped the whole idea of pancakes on its head."
And with that, Greg decided that pancakes might just be better left to the professionals - or at least the ones with actual whisks.
You know what?" he said, grabbing his phone. "I think I'll try a pancake restaurant. I've got a flippin' great idea for a menu."
Bob blinked. "You're joking, right?"
Greg raised his eyebrows. "Think about it. Pancake brick? as a new trend. There's nothing like a pancake that doubles as a doorstop."
Bob laughed again. "Well, if that doesn't work, you can always just sell it as modern art. Honestly, you'd probably make a fortune."
Greg looked at the sad remains of his breakfast masterpiece, then at Bob. With a wink, he said, "Guess I'll just stick to the microwave for now."
And with that, Greg made a promise to himself: next Saturday, he was going to order pancakes. From someone who actually knew what they were doing.