Greg the squirrel had one mission: steal an avocado.
Not for food. Not for fun.
For Instagram clout.
He'd seen humans post pictures with them—on toast, in smoothies, even on their faces. So naturally, Greg assumed avocados were the secret to going viral.
He put on a tiny ski mask (made from a sock) and set off to the farmer’s market. He expertly dodged shopping carts, leapt over screaming toddlers, and landed directly in a crate of overpriced organic avocados.
He grabbed the biggest one, held it up like Simba in The Lion King—and immediately toppled over.
The avocado was heavier than he expected. He rolled down the hill with it, yelling "FOR THE 'GRAM!" all the way.
When he finally stopped, dizzy but victorious, a grandma walked by, looked at him and said, “You’d get more likes with a cat.”