OLIVIA:
At first, it was just me, my twin sister and our best friend. We pretty much owned the library's attic. It was soundproof, and as much as we talked and laughed and played around, we always got more than enough work done. The stairs were in the very corner, next to the 4th floors cubby room. That's where I met Jonathon, and later on where my sister met his twin brother George. And later where Maddie met the twin's best friend Sullivan, or Sully as we all preferred.
My name was Olivia, though I much preferred that I went by Ollie. Olivia was far to proper a name for me; although I could be ladylike, it just wasn't my personality, nor did it fit my character. But after meeting Jonathon, I fell in love with the name Olive. Funny enough though, I hate olives.
It was maybe the second month of using the library attic as our hangout when I caught Jonathon's attention. I was laughing at something Maddie had said while walking up the stairs, and of course with the amount of noise we were making, we would catch a couple of glances here and there, but the cubbies on the fourth floor was reserved for the soundproof study rooms, so it was a bit unexpected when we glimpsed at each other, though, his door was wide open so I guess it was to be expected to some point. But it was more than just the glimpse that caught my attention, it was the colorful shaped figures surrounding him, mostly the ones that cluttered in a bubble above his head. I don't know if he recognized my own, but he gave me a side smile as I lost sight of him while going up the stairs. I must have thought of him throughout our entire study session because as much as I had planned to get done, I achieved nothing. When we left about seven hours later, he was gone.
The next day while walking up, it was my sister who caught the attention of the handsome mystery guy, only, it was his twin who caught her attention and it was the original guy who continued to catch my own. Though this time I had twisted my head slightly and stared at his colorful and shaped figures. I gave a small smile with a little giggle as I walked up the stairs, with my sister following behind me. And of course, we gossiped about them all day while we studied.
The following day, as we walked up the stairs, the twins were nowhere to be found. However, around noon when we would normally take an hour break and buy lunch, the twins and another mystery guy had joined us in the attic. Just to clarify, it was a very spacious and cozy attic, with beanbags, desk tables and empty bookshelves save for the group of books here and there. During our investigation, we found out that this was a secret hideout for some of the university students who got permission to cozy it up to their liking, and it's been passed on to the lucky few for about twenty years.
"Hi there," twin one greeted as he peeked his head through the open attic door. "May we join?" he said as he walked in.
"We brought food," twin two said as he walked in, grinning.
The final guy walked in and stated, "and drinks," as he held up a bag.
The three of us looked at each other and grinned. "Of course, come on in," I said happily. They made themselves cozy in the remaining seats, followed by food sharing and introductory conversations. Twin one was Jonathon, twin two was George, and the best friend was Sully.
It was my sister Genevieve and George who first started the dating domino, like, after week one. But that was inevitable, their personalities fit each other perfectly and no one could argue. Then it was our best friend Macy and Sully after three months of denying it, of course to the different individual gender perspectives. After seven months, I started to catch Jonathon's side glances and smiles. As far as his brother said, Jonathon had been crushing on me for a while now, but because I had made no obvious show of returning feelings, he had backed off. It took a while for my best friend to explain to him that I don't have a lot of relationship experiences, that I was not one to chase after a guy and that I was purposefully not pursuing anyone for my certain reasons. But whenever I saw him smiling at me, it made me blush. I think it was after the fourth week of that that he actually asked me out.
Eventually, we went out on a double date, Macy and Sully wanted to go to a movie the rest of us did not, so Jenny (Genevieve's nickname), George, Jonathon and I went out for dinner. Afterward, we were walking around town when at one point we all looked at this reflective mirror from a shop window and looked in, where I caught myself blushing at Johnathon, while George was blushing at Jenny. Somewhere along the road, I had started to act like my sister, and I could clearly tell that Jonathon did not like that. When we had switch partners so that I was talking with my sister, she told me to be myself, but I was too embarrassed by myself to do so. Then when we stitched again, and I took Jonathon's hand to hold him back as our siblings walked ahead. Once they were out of sight I let go. He didn't look at me and kept his head down.
"I'm not my sister."
"Then why act like her?" I think he was prepared for that statement.
"It's my safety net."
"For what?"
"For this. I don't know how to do this."
"Do what? Date?"
"Yes. And, be me. Among...other things."
"I think the colorless and shapeless say that for itself."
I looked up at him. "You can see them?" I asked surprised.
He looked in the mirror and said, "since the day I met you walking up the stairs."
I looked at the window, at the figures above our heads and how different we were. "They're not a good thing you know. The colorless and the shapeless." He looked at me surprised. I couldn't tell him, couldn't even look at him, so I stayed facing the mirror. "Normally I'm outgoing and loud when I'm excited about something, with a shy reserve when it comes to things that I don't know or don't want to talk about -"
"and when it comes to flirting," Johnathon finished.
I blushed and looked away, playing with the curls in my hair. In a low voice, I said, "Yeah, and when it comes to flirting. So, when it comes to stuff like that, I act like my sister, who has a lot more confidence. But I have my reasons for not dating, and even if I wanted to, I don't have the capability to be me because, I become too excited and too comfortable, and then it hurts. So much that the pain becomes unbearable." I looked him in the eyes when I said, "I have too keep my distance, and stay detached. But you make it so hard because I want this, but - "
"But nothing, Olivia." He ran his hand through his hair as he sighed. "Olive, I want you and I want this. But if it hurts as much as you say it does by being you, then I don't want this," he said as he directed his hands from me to him. "When you learn how to be yourself. Find me." Then he left without saying another word or without looking back.
"Wait, Johnathon!" I said as I started to run after him. "Don't," I was slowly losing energy, "leave me alone." I don't know how much came out of that because I met the ground and blacked out.
JOHNATHON:
When I reached my house, I was not expecting Jenny and George to be here, but maybe it was a good thing. The moment Jenny saw me, worried painted her face white.
"Where's Ollie?" She said as she pushed George back to the couch trying to get up.
"I left her where we split up," I said as I walked to the stairs that led to the rooms on the second floor.
"You did what?!" She yelled in panic. "George, get the car ready," she said as she got dressed. George didn't hesitate. "Why did you leave her alone?!"
"She irritated me, so I left," I said. "It's not a big problem, I'm sure she knows where she lives by now."
"Yes, it is a big problem. Do you know why we always hang out inside? Because she's sick. Who knows if she's passed out somewhere? If anyone's found her." She walked out the door with her cell phone to her ear.
"Why?" I thought. And then I went through the past seven months and all of the clues that she left behind, all those times we suggested going to parties and movies, and the way she denied them, with the backup of her friends and the odd following glances. And the biggest one of them all, "They're not a good thing you know. The colorless and the shapeless." Oh shit, what have I done?
"Ollie!" I could hear them calling out as I finally made it to the last spot where I saw her. "Ollie!" I could hear Jenny's voice becoming more frantic. Then I walked past the ditch, where the side of the road cliffs and something in my gut told me to look down.
"Oh God. Olive!" I shouted. She lied at the bottom of the cliff. I ran to the nearest slope and picked her up from the shrubs from where she lied under. She was so cold.
We sat there for hours on end, no sign of recovery, no way of knowing how long she had.
Jenny paced the floor in the waiting room.
"What does she have?" Johnathon asked as his foot tapped the floor.
"No one knows what she has, but it's been slowly eating at her since she was about five. She never went out and was never allowed to get cold, never experienced being sick, and she was chalked up on a lot of medicine to help." She stopped pacing and looked at Johnathon straight. "And it did. That's why she never showed any signs of wanting to be in a relationship with you Johnathon because she knew that she would want to take risks in life that may have been worth it, but at the same time, she accepted that she couldn't. But -" Jenny's tears were free-flowing at this point and she couldn't finish her statement.
It was Macy who explained the final bits of the story. "But then she fell in love with you." I looked up sharply at her. "She had a month from the day you walked into the library attic. We fought so many times about your relationship, and in the end, she decided to stay away from you. But then you got her those earrings on her birthday and she broke. And when she said she wanted to go out for the Christmas, we begged her not to. And she didn't. But when all three of you begged her, she couldn't refuse."
"It's all my fault," I said, my head in my hands. "All of it. She warned me so many times and I couldn't see it." Nobody could argue with that.
The doctor walked out, "Genevieve Heart." The five of us stood up and Jenny walked to him, death gripping George. "She's okay for now, but, I'm sorry. Her heart is failing, and since her body would reject the surgery, she would die on the table. I'm so sorry." Dr. Panaten sincerley said, a tear escaping his otherwise hard expression. "She fought so hard, for so long. I wish there was more that I could do" That was the point where Jenny broke. She screamed and fell to her knees as Dr. Panaten hugged her, until George rested his hand on her should. Jenny then turned to George, whose body enveloped Jenny's folded, shaking body, while Macy and Sully held each other, Macy crying nearly as hard as Jenny.
I stood there, frozen. After the initial breakdown, we made our way to Olive's room, where she was hooked up to life support. She was so pale. Jenny clenched onto the bedsheets, crying while Macy held onto her. George and Sully stood to the side, tears slowly leaving their eyes. And again, I froze. Eventually, the boys got the girls to go home for at least an hour for some good sleep where they ended up sleeping the whole night. Me? I somehow managed to stand beside her the whole night, staring in disbelief.
"You can't leave me," I thought. "You hear me! You can't leave me!" As if she could hear my thoughts. When I finally managed to say that out loud, I couldn't stop crying. I sat on the chair and cried on the side of her bed, holding her nearly frozen hand. She was so close to death, I could feel it. I could see it, the colorless and shapeless had stopped their gloppy movements and slowly began to fade. I called the boys; the girls needed to be here, and soon. "I hope, that your love for me was worth it. Because being with you was worth everything. I just wish that it didn't include your life. I'm so sorry." I quivered at the last word and kissed her cheek. Once the girls ran in the room I walked out.
After about a minute or so I could hear Jenny's voice in disbelief, "Ollie?"
"Johnny!" Sully called out. I continued walking. "Johnny man come here she's awake." With that, I stood still. I slowly turned around and hesitantly walked to her room.
She was still so pale...but...her eyes were open. I think I cried more than her sister did.
"I think you said, I wasn't allowed to leave you. But didn't you leave me first?" She said. Her voice was so weak.
I laughed in the middle of my tears. "I'm so sorry Olivia. I'm so so sorry," I said before I marched up to her and kissed her. "And I never will again." When I looked up, her color was back, and she seemed much stronger.
"You, your colors and shapes are gone," she said surprisingly.
"So are yours," I said with a small laugh. Everyone else looked confused.
Turns out that the colorful and shaped were meant to heal the colorless and shapeless.
