Every morning I sit and have coffee while I'm on my laptop. And every morning, our old, gray, chocolate lab, Jenny, is by my side. Her face, her paws, and her under belly are all accented in a beautiful gray color.
I find myself, quite often, staring at her as she lies there just napping most of the time. As I look at her, I reminisce about our time together over the years. But something was telling me there's more to this, I just couldn't put my finger on what it was.
We got Jenny when she was just a puppy. She had the most beautiful green eyes. I used to play with her as we nuzzled in bed together. Her little claws and teeth were so sharp that my hands and arms would be shredded and covered in scratches that would lightly bleed. I didn't care though. She was such a hoot to watch and play with, it was worth every drop of blood.
Jenny was never an "only child". We always had other dogs around, many of which have since gone to the Rainbow Bridge.
My wife and I used to laugh and joke about Jenny being a "lonesome loser", because she was always off on her own. But a loser, she was not. She was always just content to do her own thing. Whenever we took the dogs to the river, there would be Jenny, off somewhere by herself having a good time.
Jenny is still a loner to this day, and she's quite alright with that. She loves attention though, and she never met a person she didn't like. Jenny is always the happy go lucky one. And likewise, everybody seems to love Jenny.
I'm occasionally looking over at her as I write this, and I feel tears welling up. Aside from all the Gray, she is starting to show her age in other ways. And I am fully aware that the amount of time we have left with her is limited. The same can be said for our chihuahua Jack, who is also Graying and showing his age.
Losing Jenny and Jack will be traumatic for both myself, and my wife Jessica. Losing a loved family member always is, even when you know it's coming.
I also find myself giving even more love and attention than what I'd call normal to Jenny and Jack. It also makes me realize that not only am I seeing them differently, but I am treating them differently because of their age, and the knowledge of the fact that there is limited time left with them.
I have been thinking about writing about this for weeks. I guess I just had to wait until I felt I had the right words to put my thoughts in writing. There was something that really moved me during those times I'd catch myself staring at Jenny, and I finally put my finger on it.
The whole time, it was the gray color that induced my deep thought and ponderance.
I mentioned giving more love and attention to Jack and Jenny for obvious reasons. It's not that I don't give love and attention to all my pets, because I certainly do.
But why more for Jack and Jenny now? Again, the reasons are obvious. Or are they? Suddenly, I feel like I'm giving more because they won't be around much longer? Yes. I even pondered the thought that God gives gray hair to humans and dogs alike, to remind us that our time together is limited. Makes perfect sense to me.
The profundity of it all struck me hard. I also realize that the same can be said for my parents. They are both Graying and showing their age as well. This past year, I have given more time and attention to my parents than I probably ever have before.
Sadly, it took them getting old and needing my help to make me realize that my time with them too, is limited.
We all get busy with our lives and take these gifts (pets/people) from God for granted. I can clearly see that now; I just wish it hadn't taken me so long to get it.
I'd like to say that God dropped the ball by not making people and pets Gray from birth, lol. But I digress. It's nobody's fault but mine.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not beating myself up, or living in regret. On the contrary, I'm grateful to God for teaching me a life's lesson.
If you look Gray up in the dictionary, one of the definitions says, "dull and nondescript; without interest or character".
I, for one, will never see the color Gray the same again. And I would add a definition to the dictionary that says, "A reminder from God to appreciate what you have."
The moral of the story is don't wait for the Gray to set in.........