CHAPTER 29

SEBASTIAN

Days, months, and fucking years passed, and Melisa never visited me. She hated me before I could explain myself, before I could tell her what really happened. My family didn't kill any of her family, and neither did I! Yes, my family is involved in syndicates, but not her family. It was an accidental killing caused by another gang, not by my family. They were nice to others, but not to me! Because I was adopted! Because they wanted my blood. I don't know why the fuck they needed my blood. I don't know, but if I didn't eat, sleep, or do what they said, they would hit me and lock me up! I was just a blood bank to them, and I was being abused.

My fucking father, Arnold Vale, is a reckless and cruel person. He almost drowned me in the sea just for saying no! I don't even know the fucking reason they wanted my blood. I've never seen them drink it or taste it, as they're not vampires or whatever, they don't burn in the sun. What the fuck is that idiotic thing they're doing?! I never killed her grandmother! I told that bastard to check on her grandmother, as I always watched their house to see Melisa, but that time just wasn't right, so I didn't want to go inside. That brother of James, that fucking psycho, was following me. I don't know how or why, and frankly, I don't give a goddamn thing about it!

And now, here I am, out of the asylum, because my records couldn't keep me in jail. It makes sense - having multiple disorders means I might end up killing them all inside. I laughed at myself as I spoke.

My cute little bunny is having fun without me, without fucking me! How could she have fun without me? How can she do this to me? How can she not even listen when I have a chance to speak? Is it because I am crazy? This is your fault, my fucking little bunny! Your fault for being nice and for me falling in love with you! And now you are running away from me, stating in front of these people and the law itself that I am insane, that I raped you, which I kind of did.

But the fuck, Melisa, admit it: you like it! You love every fucking touch I give you! You like me being rough, being aggressive, and I admit that you love me! You truly love me because even the single words I say and try to explain to you don't give me a chance at all because you wouldn't let me.

Now you are betraying me by sending me to an asylum for fucking years! No texts, no calls, not even a fucking visit! If you love me, Melisa, like you always said to me, if you cared, then why - why are you here being so happy without me? Why are you so happy when even just a glance at me does not matter? Why didn't you visit me, Melisa? Everything that bastard did wasn't true, but you didn't believe me.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I want to seek revenge; I want to crush her so much that she abandoned me for fucking 12 years! And now! I am being a fucking grandpa, I guess! Whatever! I want you to feel what it's like to be abandoned, Melisa.

I want you to feel what I have felt for over 12 years because, goddammit, seeing you from afar without me hurts so bad.

Melisa, Melisa, Melisa my fucking whore Melisa?

I miss your touch, your kiss, and your fucking body - those pussy, those clit, those boobs, and those curves. God! God! I want them so bad. I want to mark every last bit of it! She is sleeping in her new apartment alone, naked, and I can see her from afar through the screen.

She is so sweet when she is sleeping.

Thank goodness for her dumbness; she always forgets to close the window, which has always been a habit of hers.

That's why I can sneak in and hide cameras inside her room and even in the bathroom. Who cares? I just want to see what's already mine. I grabbed some of her pictures and put them against my walls. I feel so calm and relieved everytime I see her, but yet these feelings ruin her.

I saw her messages. Old ones. Group chats with her friends, all giggles and plans for some kid's birthday party. She's still in that world - pastel balloons and plastic smiles.

Should I go?

No. I hate kids. I hate the idea of them. I hate the idea of her laughing, surrounded by innocent lives, untouched by the darkness she left me in. I'm glad she wasn't pregnant after what happened. After what I did. Because what the hell would I have done? Be a father? Me? Impossible. I'm not built for that. I'm broken.

I came from a place where people scream at walls and forget their names. I clawed my way out of the asylum, but it never really leaves you. The madness clings to your bones. People like me don't get to be fathers. We don't get love. We don't care. My head pounded. The pain in my chest came in waves - rage, sorrow, grief.

I shouted, sharp and raw. My knuckles slammed into the wall, over and over, until the plaster cracked and bled red with me. Blood. It scared her. She hates the sight of it. That made me laugh. The kind of laugh that rattles in your throat and dies in your teeth. I wiped the blood across her photo. Her smile. Her perfect goddamn smile. The one that used to calm me down. Now it drives me insane.

She doesn't get to forget me. I'll get her back. One way or another. Even if it's through pain. Even if it's through the same madness she helped create. She'll scream again - but not in fear. I want her to beg. I want her broken. And I want her to want me even while she hates me for it. I hate how much I still crave her. I hate how much I miss her. But that hate is what keeps me alive. She doesn't get to move on. Not without bleeding like I did. It's her grocery day - of course, her favorite stalker is around.

She's in the parking lot, carrying her own bags from the store. My little bunny, so independent, hauling those groceries. This tiny creature could break you, no matter what. I'm so proud just watching her. I'm wearing my rider bike attire, sitting on my white BMW motorbike. I just want her to see me, but she seems completely lost in her music, those goddamn headphones on.

I want her to overthink - to wonder if it was me or not. I want to live in her memory like blood running through her veins. And she's terrified of blood.

Looking at her drives me insane?

Then suddenly, a guy approaches her.

What are they doing? Why is she smiling? Why the hell is she blushing? Why is she - Fuck. How dare he get so close to my Melisa - smiling, giving her flowers? What the fuck! I want to walk up and punch that guy right in the face, right then and there. My hand curls into a fist, wrist locked, ready to strike. Am I? jealous? Oh, fuck that word. I'm not here to feel jealous. I'm here for revenge. Me? Jealous? Watching Melisa - laughing, smiling like she's happy without me - flirting with these men who don't even know how to love her? You know what, Melisa? Me. I'm the only person who will ever really love you.

I'm following them - in her car. The guy is driving. From where? I don't know. I don't care. All I know is that I'm going to follow them wherever the fuck they go. My only focus is Melisa.

Are they? on a date?

Wait -

The Carnival?

Perfect.

I hate people. God, I hate them so much.

But I'm glad I'm still wearing my helmet and bike attire - makes me less recognizable. The Carnival is loud, chaotic. A full-blown costume festival. Fireworks. Laughter. People smiling, kissing, dancing. And there she is. Melisa. Eating cotton candy, walking beside him. Smiling. I hate that smile. That smile should be for me. It should be me holding her fucking hand. Me seeing that goddamn smile. Me with my arm wrapped around her waist. They're having fun, while my life is burning in misery. I move to the side, hoping she doesn't notice me. It's costume day anyway - nobody will question it. I get closer. Too close. Then - The guy looks my way. Shit. I try to look away, to disappear in the crowd. But then - Melisa calls out. And grabs my arm.

Fuck.

Fuck!

Did she recognize me? No? right? Her hand is on my arm. "Hey! Can I take a picture with you?" she asks, smiling. My heart races. My chest tightens like I'm about to explode. I'm sweating inside the helmet. My legs feel like they'll collapse. My stomach flips like I'm going to run - or puke. I can't believe she's this close. Too close. After twelve fucking years. She lets go of my arm after the photo. She's still holding a book. And just like that - She slips away again.

"Thank you Mr. Bike" she chuckles and touch my helmet like she try to pat me, what the fuck Melisa are you doing? You have a date and yet here you are flirting with a stranger? No, I am not just a stranger! I am Sebastian Vale.

"Ghurl, you are so obsessed with dark romance books. Almost your whole cottage house is filled with them?" Wait - is he gay? I feel so confused. What's going on? "Wait? are you gay?" I ask, my tone full of disbelief. Melisa looks a bit confused, even shocked, before replying.

"Yes. And what's wrong with being gay? Are you homophobic? You're actually hot, but I hate homophobes. Let's go, Anthony." Fuck. I pissed her off. I can't believe I'm jealous? over a gay man! But at the same time, I'm glad he's gay - because that means he's not trying to steal my Melisa. Still... I swear, I'll kill him. I realize?This is the perfect time to get her. It's night. There are too many people. Too much noise. The perfect kind of scary.Melisa is alone now. That idiot Anthony is off somewhere, having fun with his boyfriend. She's drifting further away from the crowd. I follow. Not too close. Not too far. Just enough. She slips toward the edge of the Carnival - past the lights, past the laughter - into the bushes.

Why is she going there?

What the hell is she doing?

This place is isolated. Creepy. The perfect spot for someone to get? kidnapped. Well, that won't happen. Not by just anyone. If it's going to happen - It should be me. It will be me. I heard someone ringing, she picked up the phone.

"Hi, baby? How's my little boy doing?" Little boy?

Who the fuck is little boy? Who is she talking to?

What's going on?! My blood starts boiling. My thoughts are spinning. Who the fuck is that little boy?! I need to know. I have to know. Now.

I creep closer, getting near, so close to her? until she turns around. "Surprise, Melisa." Her eyes widen in shock, and I act fast - slapping my hand over her mouth, muffling her scream with a cloth soaked in chloroform. She struggles, fighting to break free, but it's useless. I hold her tighter, watching as her resistance weakens. Eventually, her body goes limp. She's unconscious now, her weight heavy in my arms. It will only be 5 - 15 minutes before she regains consciousness. I know she'll try to fight me again, but it doesn't matter. I drag her into the bushes, making sure she's still there, then rush off to my apartment.

I grab the new car I bought - thank God it's just a short drive from where we used to live.

I return to her, and without hesitation, I lift her into the car.

We'll be together, Melisa.

You'll never leave me again.

Never. I laugh softly to myself, the sound a twisted mixture of joy, pain, revenge, and sadness.

Desperate to be with you, Melisa? but you never took that desperation from me. You betrayed me - pretending you loved me, pretending you cared, pretending you were trying to learn to love me.

But why? Why did you let me go? Why did you leave me with those people? The white room? no people, no noise. Just silence. So much pain that I could hear my own voice, echoing - talking about you, hallucinating that you were standing in front of me.

"Melisa, I'll be good, I promise."

"I'll be a good boy, just love me? please."

"I love you so much - I'll do everything for you."

"Melisa? please, please get me out of here."

Those voices. In my head. Alone. In that white room. Crying. Screaming. Echoes of your name.

I saved you from the bad guys?but you never saved me. Not even a single bit of care. Those words - begging, day and night. Talking to myself. Crying. No Melisa. Not even your shadow in that fucking white room. And now?Here we are. In my place. You're tied to the bed - your feet, your body, exposed. Of course, I ripped away what was left of you, Melisa. Why not? You're all mine anyway.

"Good? you're awake, Melisa."

My thoughts stumble. My mind blurs. I want to tell her everything - what happened to me over those 12 long years, how she hated me, how I'm going to fucking punish her. But every time I look into her eyes - those eyes, that face - I freeze.

Why can't I even say a word?

"W-Who are you?!" she asks, like she doesn't even know my name. Ridiculous. Of course she doesn't know yet. Not until I remove my mask.

"It doesn't matter," I say coldly. I pour blood over her bare skin. She screams - loud, terrified.

She hates blood. And I love that scream. It makes me want to devour every echo of it. Is this death?

No.

Not death, Melisa.

That would be too easy.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Please don't hurt me, I? I hate blood." She's shaking, gasping for air, blood dripping down her naked body. She doesn't know whose blood it is. I don't give a fuck.

I grab my knife and shove it into her thigh, mesmerized by the soft, sweet, gentle skin I haven't touched in 12 years.

Fuck, I missed this thrill.

"CRY AND FUCKING SCREAM, MELISA!" I shouted, laughing at her. God, she's so hot when she is terrified.

"How did you know my name? Please let me go?" she pleaded. Did she hear me when I pleaded as well? That I was asking for help? For her? For her to at least glance at me and know that she really doesn't hate me? Did she hear my words when I pleaded for love? Because, goddamn, she didn't even care!

"I owned you Melisa, I can use you whatever and whenever I want." I grabbed her neck, and as she tried to resist my strength, the more she struggled, the more she got hurt. I chuckled and laughed, looking at her as I slid my knife from her cheek down to her shoulder, to her breasts, and down to her belly. I could tell she was afraid.

Hmmm? look at you, bunny, so afraid of me killing you, aren't you? That's right, Melisa, be afraid of me, because I will fuck you right now until you bleed and can't walk.

I started to slap her face. She was mad, and her eyes were full of tears and fear. I got closer to her head, and I could hear her lovely breath coming in fast. She was so afraid - that's right, my Melisa, that's very right. I started to rub her thighs. She tried to create space between us, but instead, I grabbed her ass, as I was used to doing. It's all mine! I could feel her heartbeat pounding hard against my chest. She started to gasp for air, flowing in and out. I began to spank her ass as she squirmed away from my grip, but I was holding her - holding her neck in a chokehold that seemed to turn her on. Don't be so innocent, Melisa. You read these novels and dark romances, and yet you pretend you don't like it? Oh, fuck me! I started to massage her breasts, making her moan. Her moans gave me pleasure, for God's sake! It had been a while since I heard her; she was moaning while playing with herself in her room, watching herself on the screen, but nothing like this - so close, and I was the one doing it. She was getting wet so easily, massaging her clit as she started to grind. She hated it, but she loved it.

"Don't deny yourself to me, Melisa," I growled, as the inside of my pants ached to be inside her.

"Do you like it, Melisa?" I started to get inside her as usual. I wanted it raw; I punished her like she deserved it, leaving marks everywhere on her body from my bites, from scratches, and from the blood - her own blood - from the knife. Not much, just a few scars that were visible, marking that she belonged to me. Only me. I groaned and moaned her name; her pussy was so tight, and grabbing her ass gave me even more support. She was screaming in pain and pleasure, and I could see in her eyes that she liked it. The whips and the burn from the candles I used on her slowly for three days, with no proper food for her - only water.

I think humans can survive still; all she could devour was me, only me. I wanted her to remember who she belonged to, and it should be me. Seeing her helpless in bed, naked, covered in blood, with drips of candle wax, whip scars, and bites from me that turned into bruises. I gasped for air; I had just finished fucking her, sitting down and watching her from a distance. Perfect - so perfect for me. My little bunny looks beautiful; she needs to be cleaned. It's enough for now; she needs the aftercare she wants. I prepared her a nice bath with lavender scent and strawberry shampoo, which I still keep. I am so obsessed with her scent. She is sleeping and unconscious, and I remove my mask. She is weak; she needs to be fed. This is not the end, Melisa. I trace all her bruises and scars from the things I have done, one by one, kissing them. Holding her from behind while we soak together in the bathtub, she is still unconscious. She looks so sweet and angelic in my eyes.

I carried her back to bed after she dried off, and yet no clothes were allowed. I wanted her to see her body fully. I covered her with the new sheet I had just prepared for her. She is so beautiful as I cuddle her, spooning her while she is still sleeping. When she wakes up, I will cook for her. But for now, just rest, my little bunny. Just let me hold you. Suddenly, she starts crying and mentions my name. "Sebastian, don't leave me, please." My heart feels good knowing that in her dreams, she remembered me; she really remembered me. I don't know what to feel. I'm supposed to hate her, but this time my mind wants to be with her and hold her for 12 years. I dream of this scenario with her.

I hold her, and slowly she is facing me. No shouting, nothing. I wish she would scold me; I wish she would say she hates me. I wish she would say she doesn't love me anymore because I am so tired of love. It feels impossible for me to have it from her. My eyes are in tears as she touches my face - soft, sweet, and very innocent.

"Sebastian, is this you?" Her eyes are filled with tears. Does she feel guilty for leaving me for 12 years? Does she feel sorry? I want to hear it, Melisa.

"This is Sebastian. This is me." She wraps her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly and rubbing my hair. I am so happy; I don't know what to feel. I really don't know what is going on. Those feelings of hate and anger vanish when she touches me like this. My face is against her chest, and I don't want to let go anymore. She keeps rubbing my hair, and my eyes are in tears. Is this what we call peace and happiness, Melisa? If this is a dream, please don't wake me up.

"I am sorry? Sebastian, I am happy you are here."

Did she mean that? Did she really mean that? My inner voice said, "No, she didn't mean that, asshole! She is using this to seek forgiveness; she doesn't love you." I grabbed her hair to face me aggressively. "Sorry? You left me for 12 years, Melisa," I growled. Instead of throwing hurtful words at me, she looked at me in submission. What is she doing?

"Punish me, please, for not listening to you, for betraying you." Her eyes were filled with tears. I grabbed her and kissed her roughly. This time, she didn't hold back; she didn't push me away. Instead, she responded to my rough kiss.

"I am really going to punish you, Melisa. Really, really bad." She pushed me and started riding me on top. Fuck, she is so wild! My Melisa is aggressively fucking me. Her bruises, scars, and moans only make it more intense. This is the sixth round we've had in bed. I guide her up and down, in and out, with my size.

"Please punish me," she begs. Oh God, I love the way she begs. I grab her and devour every single drop of her, and our cum together. I never stop until she faints and screams my name. She feels so tight, and I know she is getting sore, but the more sore she gets, the tighter her walls become.

"Fuck, Melisa! You're so tight!" She moans and screams until we come together again and again and again. I will never let her go; I want her to choose me.

"You're crazy! When did you get out of the asylum?" she asked.

"Two weeks ago," I replied while brushing her hair. "You're also an idiot! You know I hate blood - so why did you put that on me?" She smacked my chest, and I laughed. "Because it's good to see you afraid and needing me to save you." She suddenly jumped out of bed and started getting dressed.

"W-where are you going? Stay!" I grabbed her arms, trying to keep her with me.

"Sebastian, we cannot be back together. This will be the last time we see each other." I shook my head and tried to hold her, begging once again in front of her.

"Melisa, listen to me. I can't live without you. I can't breathe. You're the only reason I'm alive. You're all I have. Please? please don't leave me. I'll be good. I'll try to be better. We can be happy together." She stepped aside, slipping out of my arms wrapped around her waist.

"But we can't be together. It's impossible," she said softly.

"Is it because I'm a madman? Because I'm ugly? Melisa, I know? I know my love isn't like how other people love, but it's all I know.

Please don't leave me. We can start a family in the home I bought - look, look! I even made a new room. We can decorate it for our baby, if you want. Baby, I'll be here. I don't know how to be a father, but I'll try my best, Melisa. Please? don't." Her tears fell silently.

"Why can't we be together, Melisa? Tell me. Give me a damn reason! I need a reason to live without you!"

"I'm sorry." That word. The one I always heard. The one I hated the most. And just like that, she walked away - through that door - while I shattered into pieces. Days and nights pass as I isolate myself in this room, waiting - just waiting - for Melisa to come back and hold me tight.

But? she didn't. Just like before, she left. She always leaves. I'm a madman. I don't deserve love anyway. She doesn't care.

I drown myself in alcohol, bottle after bottle, hoping the pain will fade - wishing I could disappear. Wishing? I could end it all. I walk the streets, hoping to catch a glimpse of Melisa. But she's gone. Vanished like a ghost. Now, I stand outside her apartment door, waiting. Again. But still, no Melisa.

Only silence.

After many days - maybe weeks - I finally saw her.

My Melisa Hardvort. The woman I once dreamed would be my wife? the mother of my children. She's gone now. She doesn't love me. I saw her from afar, smiling, laughing - holding the hand of a little boy I didn't recognize. Who is he? Who does he belong to? Maybe she has a new man? maybe that's his kid. Or maybe - Maybe he's mine. He looked like me. But maybe I'm just hallucinating again? because I'm mad. They were eating ice cream together, happy. I stood there like a ghost, watching them from across the street. God, how I wish I were with them. Seeing them broke my heart all over again. I'm tired - tired of chasing. If this is what Melisa wants for her life?Then I'll give it to her. Because I love her. Even if it kills me. I didn't notice at first - but the little boy began crossing the street. No. No, no - he was crossing, and the light hadn't turned red. The cars hadn't stopped. My body surged with adrenaline. Without thinking, I ran and pushed him out of the way. Then I saw it. The truck. Coming straight for me.

Boom.

Everything went cold. My body felt paralyzed. My vision blurred.

Above me - the sky.

Around me - chaos.

Screams. I saw the boy, standing nearby, eyes wide, terrified. He was reaching toward me, confused. God? he really did look like me. Then I saw her. Melisa. She grabbed the boy, then rushed to me. She dropped to her knees, holding my face in her hands, tears falling like rain. She was speaking, but her voice sounded distant - dull, swallowed by noise and pain. "Sebastian, please - Sebastian, hold on! Somebody call an ambulance!" I reached up, just to touch her face one last time. My eyes began to close, but I had never been so happy - so close to her again. It's always the terrible things that bring us back together. I saw an angel. My Melisa.

"So beautiful," I whispered. She was crying. And as everything faded, a single sound echoed in the void -