The first time (1)
"just one little line" ashley said.
Ashley was a smart young woman who always believed she could do better and be better. Everything in her life revolved around finances to be successful. Right from a young age, she was taught school is important and money is what makes the world go around.
It's true, without money you would not have the essentials to live life comfortably, let alone happily. She always followed a strict budget. A roof over her head, food on the table, hydro and communication tools were always paid for by working a typical job for a company. A steady paycheck coming every two weeks to budget every recurring expense. Her family was proud of her. Their daughter was doing exactly what they taught her; money pays bills and gets you what you want.
Ashley moved into a rougher area of town. She rented an apartment there and started to make friends in the area. Having a party one night in her apartment to impress her new friends, one of them brought a drug. It wasn't like ashley didn't like to try to experiment things, so here she gave it a snort.
It's now 5am and ashley is wide awake with a racing heart and pupils so huge you wouldn't be able to notice her eye colour. She has to go to her regular job in just a few hours, and she hasn't even slept yet. She thinks, " it is alright, i am wide awake anyway. " her first shift that week started as a high one. High on cocaine. Thankfully, by the end of her shift, she was ready for bed.
The week goes by, and she continues to do her normal life routine. Routines were always a huge thing for ashley. Coffee first thing in the morning, followed by a cigarette, shower then work. When she got home, she would always scoop the little box, feed the cats and then proceed to make supper. After eating supper at the table, she would head to her couch to watch a show or two on the television before changing into her pyjamas for bed. This repeated daily. Every single day. Occasionally, she would go to the bar and have one rum and coke before proceeding home. This made her feel like she was doing something other than being on robot mode. The odd time, she would have friends over or go to her best friend's house. Sometimes on her days off she would visit her parents and her one grandma.
When she went to visit her parents the following weekend, her grandma who helped raise her had passed. Grandma left ashley a decent amount of money. Ashley was upset of her grandma's passing, but did not show her emotions to anyone. Instead, she headed with her friend to buy some cocaine.
This is where her issue started, the downward spiral of spending more money than what she had. At least with her inheritance, she can say she bought a new mattress and a lot of stuff to go up her nose.
It was like ashley could not get enough of it. Days and nights would be spent high. She still managed to keep her job, though. I mean, how else was she going to pay for this ever so expensive habit?
This bad addiction turned into using credit cards, in which ashley could not even pay off with her one job alone. Anything that could go onto a credit card did. The dealer wouldn't accept anything but cash. When she was sober, she would see her banking information being in the thousands of money owing. Ashley already worked full time as is, and she needed a way to pay off this debt quickly. This is when she thought about becoming a stripper.
A couple of friends worked as a stripper and could easily come home with 500 dollars a night, why couldn't she do that too? She can't dance, nor can she stay up late unless she is high.
A second option popped into her head, and so the research began. "how to make money quickly with my body? " so many articles and blog posts on suggestions, including the one she chose. Get paid for sex.
This was a great option for ashley. She already worked full time, was battling addiction and needed money quickly with not a lot of time to spare.
Her first client(2)
ashley was so nervous to make the drive 2 hours away, but it was 400 dollars in her pocket. It was going to be worth it.
She pulled up to the address she was given by an older man in her beat up chevy. She walked up the steps, feeling her anxiety strike up. Just as she was going to turn around, he opened the door. "come on in, ashley", he said.
Ashley proceeded to follow the man into the living room, where there was only a couch and plastic on the floors. 'am i going to die here? ' is what ashley thought.
The man was approximately 30 years older than her. Balding, fat and not attractive at all. He undressed himself first and then asked ashley to suck on him. She followed his direction and kept reminding herself in her head, 'i have to do this to pay off my debts. It's the only way. '
after he finished, he thanked her and handed her a wad of 20 dollar bills. Ashley headed to her car, disgusted with herself, counting the 20s to make sure he paid her the right amount. 'wow, he threw in an extra 40 bucks. Must be a tip', ashley thought on her way back home.
Skip a little bit (3)
over and over, she met random strangers until all her debt was paid off. She struggled hard not to do at least a little bump every day, but vowed she would never get so caught up in debt again.
She met a fella who was an ex addict and wanted to party. Furthermore, she partied hard with him on weekends only. One morning, at about 3am, he video tapped her scraping plastic off the cd case she had her cocaine on. She was trying to get another line.
The next day, after she sobered up, he showed her the video. She was so ashamed and disgusted with herself. She looked like a true junkie trying to get one last hit. Not only that, but she quit the drugs and went back to her old ways. Work a normal job for money to pay bills and nothing much extra.
She decided she wanted to no longer rent someone else's property and wanted to be able to fall back on something if she needed to. This is what started her mission to have enough for a down payment for a house. She chose to only eat one 50 cent can of soup a day to save on her already extremely tight grocery budget. This wasn't adding up fast enough for her liking when viewing her savings account. She wondered, ' how can i make some extra money quickly? '.
The disgust from using her body with multiple men to make money made her want to be sick, but here she was finding men who wanted to pay her to have sex once again.
Enough was made and saved to put a down payment on a small house, but one man just would not stop messaging her for more sex at 300 dollars a time.
Since she was fuelled by making money, thinking money is what success really is, she continued to see this man twice a month. It was great. 30 minutes of her time, a little disgusted feelings and thoughts, but ultimately 300 dollars cash in her pocket. All she needed to do was show up, get undressed, and he did the rest. This man was an older married gentleman who was "fixed" with the lack of sex at home. He owned a successful company not far from where they met twice a month. A perfect gig, ashley thought. Until she got a serious relationship.
Things get complicated (4)
a man of her dreams appeared in her life. He was tall, handsome with a dark goatee and salt and pepper hair. He had two children already from a previous marriage. Furthermore, he had a great paying job and a house of his own. This was totally different from the short-term boyfriends she had in the past.
He treated her so well. He cooked dinner every night. They cuddled, watched movies and had amazing sex nightly. A perfect relationship it seemed for months. As months went by, he started to treat her a little differently. He started to demand sex. There was no more just cuddling on the couch watching a movie. It was expected for her to suck him off instead. She was expected to wake up at 3am to put his lunch in his lunch pail before he went to work, then proceed to make him ejaculate before he got dressed for his day at work. He also made sure she got the kids ready for school-leaving her with barely any time or motivation to be able to go to work herself.
Ashley, even displeased with how he started to treat her, still thought it was love. I mean, how could you be head over heels for a man for months to instantly changing to disgust? Easily.
Spice it up honey (5)
ashley's boyfriend wanted to spice up their sex life. He was interested in men too. He wanted to have someone from craigslist over for a threesome. Ashley agreed because she loved him and didn't feel threatened from another man having sex with him. Turns out, he wanted all of them to have each other.
She went with the flow of things for him. She loved him and wanted to please him, so if having sex with another man and him at the same time is what made him happy, that's what she did.
Over time of having a few different people over for threesomes, it started to make ashley feel like she wasn't good enough just herself. She felt disgusted with herself and ashamed. Her boyfriend didn't worship her or appreciate her. He was using her as his sex slave.
If she was going to have to be a slave to sex, then she might as well be getting paid, is what she thought.
Their next few encounters were with the man ashley saw bi-weekly. The difference this time was she was pleasing her boyfriend along with making money. Might as well make money and feel disgusting at the same time, instead of feeling like just a whore who doesn't get paid. Her sugar daddy man came bi-weekly for sex with them for a few months. He would always use the bathroom before he left, leaving money in her makeup bag.
Over time, she realized she really did not want to feel disgusted with herself and the boyfriend she thought was love was really just a manipulating womanizer. This was not the man of her dreams, especially after he cheated with a woman!
She left him and cut off ties with her sugar daddy.