Rick had been feeling unusually gloomy tonight, his easy smile was missing when thanking Steve as he got out of the car. It was balmy night and the the traffic had rather thinned at 10.30 pm, making their ride to the central station short but nothing relived the heaviness in Rick’s heart tonight. Getting through the station’s doors he couldn’t help but marvel at the celestial ceilings elegance and vastness. Had it been any other day he would have stopped to take in a few pictures but not today, he was lost pondering over what he had lost and gained in the last 20 years since he left Hedwig. Navigating through chatty, messy, confused and panicking travellers Rick made his way to the waiting room. He was early tonight which was privilege in NewYork one rarely could boast off, buying a bottle of water at one of kiosk’s he checked his watch. He had an hour to kill before his train, he can probably catch up on his book that had been stuffed in his duffel for months. Last read page marked, jostling with his other overnight essentials the book was probably beat, it was Sally Rooney’s latest about troubled and conflicted young people and their love and life.
After reading her last one “Normal People” he had become a fan, in fact it made him miss Kate, his lovely Kate so much more than he had in these past 20 hazy years. Old Station Master’s office fitted with the oak benches from the Vanderbilt hall and floral murals looked cozy. It was mostly empty so he picked a corner spot to settle down with his book. Dressed in a light denim jacket, black tee and denims, sporting salt and pepper hair and pleasant smile, Rick’s towering 6’3 inch personality even turned heads who had no idea who he was. Whenever he travelled for not work he preferred to do so with minimum fuss and zero entourage. Looking at him sitting in a corner with his head buried in book, dressed inconspicuously no one could tell that he was an international sensation, selling out arenas within hours the tickets became available. Absorbed in the book, just as Alice said “hello there” to Felix in their chance encounter at the fruit display of the convenience store , an elegant swish of a floral dress caught Rick’s attention. Lady’s back was towards him but there was some familiarity, he couldn’t place her but her movements stirred in recognition. As she settled diagonally opposite him on the benches, carefully adjusting her luggage out of the way, and Rick could get a clear look at her face, he felt somebody had punched him in the gut. Lights went out for a few seconds, his mouth went dry and hands sweaty.
Here was Kate, his childhood sweet heart sitting 3 feet apart looking prettier than he last remembered. Double strand pearl necklace sitting snug around her neck gave her dress paired with a simple white blazer the sophistication that was both charming and unusual for someone about to board a late night train. Smoothing the skirt of her dress Kate looked up and her eyes met Rick’s who was gawking her with almost child like innocence. Shock and surprise on her face gave way to happiness, her lips turned into a smile and sides of her eyes crinkled. Her heart was pounding faster and louder than a train, in years she had not been so unsure of what to do. It seemed someone had superglued her tongue to the roof of her mouth , as she struggled to form words Rick came and sat next to her. Damn he looks so handsome !!! He looked way younger in person compared to the pictures she often saw splashed in the tabloids.
Kate caught the tail end of his sentence, “…thinking of you” and absentmindedly her hand lightly touched his right cheek and was caught by Rick on its way down. He was kissing her hand and talking animatedly but Kate wasn’t there, she was in a dream. For the last twenty years every other night just before dozing off, she mentally rehearsed what will she do and say when she meets Rick but today nothing helped. As she pinched herself back to earth her eyes watered and she felt like the same 16 year old besotted teenager sitting with her love wrapped in invisible comfort and warmth. “I Missed You” she blurted suddenly and saw Ricks’s face light up like a Christmas tree. They kept staring each other with fondness, holding hands, nobody could say that two decades had escaped them.
Rick and Kate were inseparable in high school, morning to late afternoon from classes, cafeteria, music hall, football field to school grounds they always were in each other’s sight. Rick’s father, their principal was a formidable man on the campus, halls and gardens went silent as he walked past every few hours. His mere presence commanded that rules weren’t meant to be broken and crossing lines would get one in trouble. This always made rick feel secluded, most of his classmates would walk around him on egg shells and he was never invited to late night, strictly permissible soirees.But Kate was his solace, she was both honest and supportive. Her mum passed away in a car accident when she was 12 and with determined resilience she took over the house like duck to water. Her relationship with her dad was loving, they were getting through life with grace. He owns the village’s only car repair shop, work was plenty, dirty, back breaking but satisfying. Every night after closing the shop when he went back, simple but hot food would be waiting for him. Kate had taken this one responsibility from her mum, as he walked through the door she would smilingly look up from her books at her father and evening after evening this father daughter duo would convince each other that things were ok.
Kate loved life and took on every challenge it threw at her with gusto. Money was tight and despite her dad’s honest hard work she knew that he would not be able to send her to New York.
She has been making and selling jewellery to her friends and their friends for a while to save up and go to Rochester design School, for over 2 year now. It was not enough yet but it would be by the time the year ends and then there were always part time jobs she could do, once she is there. She hadn’t told Rick yet that she wanted to leave the village after their senior year. She secretly hoped that he would move to NY with her, the city offered best of everything from education to music but she had not yet found the right time to bring this up.
Practicing with his mates for the school’s annual party, Rick was slightly lost today. His argument with his father at the breakfast table this morning left him baffled, they had been having the same argument for month now. While Rick understood that it came from a place of love and care he failed to understand how his otherwise rather supportive dad would not let him study and pursue music as a career. He learnt how to play the guitar before he learnt how to string up words and write full sentences. He was a natural, born with raw talent which he perfected with endless hours of practice and dedication. His dad always bought him the best guitar he could for his every other birthday since the age of 6 and every evening after dinner he would play a piece for his parents which would always end in proud cheer and merriment. His grades were good and he had a passion which he pursued with rather dodged determination, his parents were the happiest in town. At 10 when he wrote 4 original songs and composed music for them, his parents had thrown a small garden dinner party, setting up a small dais with old wooden crates and inviting all their friends, giving Rick his first platform to perform solo. He was the unofficial rockstar of the town, loved and adored by elders and envied by his peers.
But since the past few months, as his dad’s attention narrowed towards his grades and colleges he should apply to, their relationship had become strained. Rick dreamt of performing infront of the crowds, writing new songs and collaborating with different musicians, the life his dad had been planning for him these days was galaxies away from that. He wanted to talk to Kate about moving away but the timing had been off. Her father would be all alone, if she left town, how could he make her chose.
Both Rick and Kate had dreams that needed them to leave Hedwig Village, embrace the new world and meet different people. But those paths had to run parallel and not intersect for a while, neither of them were willing to accept and acknowledge this. Feeling that life will separate them was felt but not yet discussed by either. As the last days of their school life approached they held onto each other like there was no tomorrow, Rick even picked out a pocket square matching with Kate’s dress. They practiced their steps to “Time of my life” from Dirty Dancing, soaking in the music , swaying and pretending that this is how their life was going to be forever. It was the last night of the practice and tomorrow would be their last day in school, Kate shuddered with this thought and electricity ran through their entangled fingers and with no forewarning Rick leaned in and touched Kate’s lips with his.
It was sudden but sweet and warm, as the seconds passed she parted her lips and felt Rick’s tongue exploring her shy mouth. They had known and loved each other for so long that even though no words were said it seemed their bodies understood each others rhythm. In that moment an urgency crept in and they had to forcefully pull themselves away knowing they were in public. Hands laced together as Rick walked Kate back to her home, he could hear his and her heart beat loudly. They couldn’t meet each others eyes as they hastily said goodbye to each other at the door, that night both of them knew something had changed.
Warm June sun brought on a cheeriness the next day for the whole town, it was a big evening for the town and all the townsmen were out and about busy trying to prepare for it. Air was filled with the smell of freshly cut grass and brewing coffee wafted from Luke’s diner, Kate spent and extra hour that morning to wash and prim her hair. She had repurposed her mom’s best dress for tonight and created an exquisite set of pearl necklace and earrings from the best cheap pearls she could save up to buy. She wanted to look her best tonight, dance like this was her last for many moons to come because tomorrow she would tell Rick about New York. In his new suit and pocket square as Rick put on the corsage on Kate’s wrist, he was almost shaking. He wanted to ask her to travel the world with him right then but she was looking so pretty that words were lost as he looked into her eyes, her smile , her scent, her every little movement had him completely absorbed. Everything and everyone around them was a blur at the event, they wanted to steal every moment they could to stay next to each other. The dance was long, out of breath and difficult to bear it any longer they exited the merriment soon after to find a place to be alone. Despite it being their first time, it was tender, slow and intense. After they snuggled in each others arms and slept. This had been the first peaceful sleep, Rick had in a while. He didn’t get up in the middle of the night with visions of being away from Kate and his parents in a tour bus on the road jamming with others instead tonight he slept with a smile on his face. Kate however had a disturbed night, tonight was never part of her plan, she knew they had now crossed a line from which if they ever went separate ways it will be very difficult for them to find there way back. As Rick helped Kate sneak into her home through the tiny kitchen window he promised to meet her at the diner for breakfast in a few hours from then.
With his head buried in a newspaper, sitting with a cup of coffee, it was impossible for Rick to ignore his father on the porch. His casual hello was greeted by a stern nod and simple message that he needs to be on the evening train to Houston, his uncle had been under the weather and requested he come over to help out his cousin with the convenience store. Rick liked visiting Houston every few months, his cousin Jackson had 6 years on him and practically ran his father store. He was simple to be with and rather fond of Rick, together they went to music clubs, drives and sometimes to a fight or two. This morning though he only wanted to be with Kate, sooner he could shower and get out of the house sooner he would be with her. 9.30 sharp he was at their regular booth in a clean pair of clothes holding, holding a big folio filled with all the songs he had written until today. He ordered their favourite banana pancakes and 2 coffees , shuffling and selecting the songs he would show first show Kate today. From this day on she will be part of all his dreams, they will walk towards zenith hand in hand, excited, nervous he didn’t realise that it had been almost an hour and Kate wasn’t here. Kate wasn’t here , this never happened , she was always before time. Every time they met she always reached before him, casually chided him for not being on time. He smiled because he was, just that she was early. But where was she this morning, coffee he ordered for her was now ice cold, half pile of pancakes were now soggy and the diner was almost getting empty, as all were getting back to work after breakfast.
Rick paid and made his way to her house, maybe she was unwell or was caught up at home but after the 11th knock and circling the house Rick came to the conclusion that no one was home. He dragged his feet back home, there was huge lump in his heart, his brain was foggy and it was getting difficult for him to breath. He slammed the screen door and ran up to his room, curtains shut he lied down and tried to make sense of what happened. Did he do something wrong, was last night not the same for Kate as it was for him or did something bad happened to her? He had no idea when he drifted into a sleep, his wrist watch flashed it was 4.30 when his mom woke him up. He had slept through the entire day, he ran out of the house to Kate’s and it was still quite and lifeless. On his way back, he almost ran in front of his dad’s old fiat. After a quiet ride, back home he was asked to pack his bag and get on the 8.30 train. He protested , asked to not leave without meeting Kate but his dad’s scowling face remained unchanged. On his way out he handed him mum a hastily written note for Kate- “ going away to Houston for a few days , will call you from there- Love Rick.” Hugging his mom, all he could say - give this to Kate before his dad honked again.
Once at his uncle’s house, Rick found out that his uncle was in hospital and Jackson had been stretching to be with his dad, helping his mum and running the store. From next day on, Rick took over the store from him and spent all day helping the customers, managing the till and bagging groceries when their help took a smoke break. The pathos sucked him in and for the next few days he forgot all about calling Kate. On Saturday morning his uncle was brought back home and was doing much better. Drinking his soup he suggested that Jackson and Rick should do something fun, as boys their age should spend their Saturday evening. Jackson’s friend had tickets to a AC/DC concert they had planed to go before his dad had the stroke , Rick tagged along on a ticket which was meant for one of their mate’s girlfriend.That September evening of 1979 at the Music Centre changed his life. As the band blew the roof off the place, Rick made the decision to tour with the band. He went to see them backstage offering to to odd jobs , if they let him on their tour.
Kate’s loneliness was more layered than her father had imagined, she was sinking and despite throwing in the rope he could not get her to pull. That night he didn’t feel her presence, she was there but not. He could smell her but other than the shadow on the couch he could not reach and hold her like before. This was not new, Kate had been diminishing since she came back from the hospital last week, she was 7 weeks pregnant. For most would be mothers in the world, this is one of the most joyous occasion of their life but not for Kate. She was glum and confused, it had been 7 weeks since that night. A day less than 7 weeks since when she last saw Rick or heard his voice, she called his home , his uncle’s home but he was gone. For weeks she couldn’t understand why after the night they had, he would not call her or want to be with her. She did miss their breakfast date but only because his dad fractured his leg and had to be taken to the hospital. The folly was not worth the punishment, his dad was in a lot of pain to be left alone and she did visit Rick’s home the next morning.
She always liked his mum, Gloria reminded her of hers. Kind, gentle and fiercely protective of her children. Kate often spent evenings with Gloria learning a new recipe or just talking about life and Gloria loved her like her own. Even after all this while, Kate still calls her every Saturday morning detailing all that happened during the week. Gloria visited NY every few months to spend time with Kate and Coco, never a birthday was missed. She was a grandmother and she embraced it from the day she knew. She was the only one who understood and supported Kate’s decision to keep the baby. Unperturbed by all, she stood between Kate and her father, helped her through those difficult days when she was alone. If it wasn’t for Gloria, Kate would have never moved to Rochester to complete her degree in jewellery designing. Gloria lived with her and Coco till she was 3 and old enough to spend time in school and be with sitters.
In many ways Kate attributed her success and Coco’s amazing personality to Gloria. It had not been easy for Gloria to suddenly lose a son and become a grandmother within months, all of hedgewig knew that Kate was having her son’s child. The scrutiny was intense and Rick’s absence was not looked kindly upon by Gloria’s friends. With her head held high she channeled all her energy into helping Kate achieve her dreams. From cooking for her and her father to fashioning onesies for her soon to arrive granddaughter, Gloria did it all. Her support gave Kate time to study and make more jewellery to sell. She obviously missed this years admission but was accepted the following year to the institute. She moved to New York with her 5 month old daughter and Gloria, 2 gutsy women determined to raise a hell raiser. Kate’s dad visited her every other weekend, with each passing week, seeing his granddaughter grow and daughter coming to herself made him happy. He laughed more often, ate on time and every now and then borrowed a new book from the village library. He silently but firmly stood by Kate’s decision to have Coco, him being by her side meant a lot for Kate. Four years of college went by quick, she moved from her 1 bed near the school, to a studio near Flatiron in midtown Manhattan after she got a job at David Yurman’s after graduating. She was amazing at work, her ideas were acknowledged and adapted, from design to supply Chain, she was interested in all. By the time Coco was 10 , the pair of them had moved to the upper west side, Kate had joined a family owned jewellery store as the lead designer. Nancy was tough but her discipline ensured things ran like clockwork. She had met Kate at the school playground and was immediately drawn to the bracelet Kate was wearing. 15 minutes later, a job was offered and accepted. For next 6 years they made unique pieces from from recycled gold and silver week after week, putting Aysa’s in the must visit stores list. From time to time Kate wanted to start something on her own but the cost of setting up a store and workshop on her own seemed daunting.She shared her concerns with Nancy after a few glasses of chardonnay on their night out and much like the older sister she was to Kate, Nancy gave her the most valuable business advice she could offer. “Why don’t you design and sell on Etsy, and use my workshop to create? After you have built your clientele, you can open a store and start paying me rent for using the workshop. Your design aesthetic will be yours and distinct from Aysa’s, Market is big enough for all designs to survive and thrive.”Kate teared up, here was yet another woman offering her a launchpad for her dreams. For the first year, she continued to design for Aysa but when the orders increased and her designs became more nuanced she just used their workshop.
Last year Kate opened her own boutique in Soho, it was a dream and Coco liked to drop in often after school. She was a splitting image of Rick, same dark auburn hair, long lashes and eyebrows that went for miles.But it was her generous heart that reminded Kate most of Rick other than the obvious knack to pick any musical instrument and play it expertly in months. After her graduation, Coco was on her way to Juliard on full scholarship. Kate was both proud and scared, Coco was an extension of her, friends and confidante for life.
Kate felt Rick fingers gently tucking her hair behind her ears, she felt tears welling up, he was still talking, he was so close that she felt his breath on her, and suddenly blurted out, “We have a daughter, Coco turns 17 in March. She is so much like you.” There it was, all her practiced eloquent thoughts were forgotten. She had just told her high school sweetheart that he has a daughter, he didn't know existed. Rick slowly hugged her tight, Kate continued to cry, he was embarrassed, he was not their with Kate when she must have needed him the most. From the day he got on that tour bus, Rick did not look back. 2 years on the road with the band, he played with them, wrote music, played at every bar they went into. At the tail end of the tour, he opened for them. Crowd loved him, producers loved him but most of all the industry loved him. After the tour, Rick decided to spend some time in Austin, he wanted to play live as much he could. Few months later a producer flew him out to LA, his first record was hit. With 8 albums under his belt, Rick was one of the most sought after rock musician. It became incrementally difficult for him to call back home with each passing year. He wanted to speak Kate, his mom and surprisingly his dad ever so often but something stopped him whenever he picked up the phone. He loved them dearly but as the time passed by his hesitation to explain and be vulnerable infront of them went up. Rock and roll lifestyle consumed him for the first few months, tour was electric , energy transported him to a different vista and when it died down the shame of staying away was more than the pull to visit home.LA gave him both opportunities and friends, somewhere amidst fame and the consistent buzz of creativity he lost touch with his inner self.
Rick moved to New York 2 years ago, to work with Atlantic records. They offered him a 3 album deal, Rick enjoyed the chaos and pace of Manhattan.He could go down to coffee shops, delis and pop by the store without being papped. People would recognise him on the street but a loud whistle, visible nod and ask for a photograph or autograph was all that disrupted him. His penthouse overlooking the park was not too shabby, life was good but lonelier than LA. Not sure if it was the age or the city but he thought of Kate more often. All through these years, he was surrounded by most willing and beautiful women but he paid no heed to them. A fellow guitarist once asked him, “are you interested in men instead?”Rick smiled and changed the topic with a brief reply, “No, its just that my heart is taken.”
He tightened his grip around Kate, he had so many question about the time passed but mostly he wanted to talk about his Coco. “Kate where are you off to?” “Meeting a supplier tomorrow morning in Pennsylvania and you?” “Meeting a friend for lunch in Washington tomorrow, though don’t think I am getting on that train anymore. Can you reschedule? I cant let go, we have 18 years of catching up to do.” Kate nodded in a yes, she didn't want to let go either. “You know why I named her Coco, right?” Rick chuckled and responded “after the puppy behind your dad’s garage, we almost adopted. Can’t believe you named our daughter after a dog.” “It was what we wanted to shared together, and she also has your hair” Kate sheepishly responded.
Love was in air, they had a life to catch on and a daughter to see grow but in this moment, this was enough.
