"What made you decide to change your mind?" That's the last question you that made me think hard? really hard.
"Would you like to skip to the next question?" The follow up question after 20 seconds of silence.
I shrugged and I felt my palms getting wet. I can feel the cold AC in the room and all I feel is the chilling fact that I am scared to answer his question.
"We can take a break if you want" there he goes again.
"I dunno what to say, I mean I never thought I have a good answer to what you're asking me." I started?
"If you need more time, we can reschedule tomorrow. Or anytime this week. Although I can't promise you anything." I feel his words piercing to my throat.
"No, I want to continue." I look at my glass of water, took a sip and gathered all my energy to come up of a decent way to not sound childish.
Let's start by saying I'm not fond of being optimistic. Not depressed or anything, just not into hitting the heart or thumbs up icon on every cute cat videos on any social media platform. God I sound so horrible.
You see, I'm not your typical teenager who is entitled with this kind of dilemma. I'm a grown ass woman, with no sense of direction when it comes to myself and my decision making.
Most women my age had their lives figured out since 5th grade! Me, can't even try soul searching? I just don't know what I want or like to even know the right word to use to google it! Not so typical huh!!
If you're here for a romantic story well, you're in the wrong page. This is not for someone who wants to be inspired.
Just to set things right, this monologue that you are reading didn't happen when I was sitting in that cold room being interviewed by the manager.
I wish this is relationship problem? but trust me, you will feel bad for yourself for reading this!
So I started spilling the beans. I said that because I'm desperate to start getting what I deserve!
I should have lied! Right?! But nah too easy.. the truth is I kinda want this.. like Michael Jackson bad!!! So I started thinking.
Sweaty palms, I utter the first word and all I can hear is? nothing.
" I love my old job," after I cleared my throat, that's how I started my story. " I have no complaints, the pay is wonderful, the full compensation and benefits package, and great bonus and incentive scheme. I just can't work or should I say I have no more strength to continue to work with them because? I have a personal issue which I know it's my prerogative to keep it to myself. I know sooner or later you'll hear about it.. so how about I'll take this time to help you decide to hire me." Got his full attention!
Fuck! I made me sound interesting enough for him to put his pen down and waiting for my juicy details.
I slept with my boss?
He looked at me trying to stop himself from laughing..
"And his wife and a couple of his business partners" I continued.
"I see, so.."
" I'm not done yet. You see, there's no drama until I decided I don't want to be part of it anymore."
"Very personal Clover, but I'm sure you?"
"I'm not done yet," cut him off again. "This is a job interview not a therapy session but I just need you to fully understand I don't want you to give this job to someone else."
"Do you have any experience that you can back up your drive to be part of our company?"
"That's why I'm the perfect candidate for the position. I have no clue what to do or what I can do to make you choose me but other than the fact that I am very good when it comes to learning!" I continued.
"How can we make sure of that? We have no time and available resources to train someone. And this position is only for the person who fits the requirements of the itemized job description. Did you read the post?!"
"Up until the third bullet point. No offense, my intention to read and be interested to continue reading just left the building. That is why I know I can make me learn whatever you need to secure results.. better results and save you more pain in going thru every application and processes."
"What I can bring to the table? How will you be more productive, efficient and more effective and overall high success rate with me as a part of your company? As simple as me being truthful. Not a good person but I have no hidden agenda. I am very good in handling people. So good that my boss and his associates liked me around. Social events and after parties, I'm there!
"My opinions are practical but hard to execute. If blindly followed, like my previous company, nothing but success rates will overwhelm our business reports. I know it sounds so impossible." I handed him a sheet of paper. " call this number, they will tell you how good my skill sets are, and how much you need me."
Thank you for taking your time to interview me today. It's a breath of fresh air to be in a different setup." Then I left.
What really is my reason for leaving my job?! Nothing interesting, if I had one. Did I sleep with everyone I said I did?
Nope! Not paid enough to do it for lil favors. Did I get the job? Nope! I was offered a better position, better pay and compensation package, my own assistant and a new house and a car just for me.
I lied my way to success! 3 days ago I was jobless now, I tell people what to do and sit around and get paid more than I deserve. Because it's not really about how deserving we are, it's all about what we want!"
Got your attention now?!
