Same as before with a lot of tension and anxieties, that day I was also going to school………. I am a person who loves horoscope, predictions and astrology……so
that I can see my future Huh… wow... but till this day I haven’t visited any astrologer. Hmm…how can I? I am a 14 –year-old girl in 8th grade, and also a Christian. Therefore, there are some restrictions in my family.
Every day I feel tense, thinking about how the day will be for me.
Although I am a good student and always get top scores in exam, I still feel tense about simple things...actually I don’t know why. May be because I like my school and my dear teachers very much…I am afraid of losing my good impression Infront of them… so I always try to make myself optimistic Infront of them- But deeply inside, when facing my dearest teachers, I feel very lovable and tensed. Why?... I don’t know ………. Maybe
everybody feels like that.
From my home to school, it is 20 km_1 hour travel. My parents cared a lot for me, so they arranged a school vehicle(private)for going to school instead of the bus. Moreover, this is my first time going such a long distance for school.
The routes are not familiar for me. I enjoyed going to school every day because there is no tension to catch a private bus and jump into the rush
My father always drops me at the railway station from home, and from there I go to
School in a private car (private school vehicle). The car driver’s daughter is also studying in the same school as mine. So, it is easy. Other than us, there is one more child. We always tell jokes and make our journey more optimistic and cheerful.
When the time of exams or class tests comes, I feel very tense thinking about how I will do it. Because I know myself very well…I don’t like to cheat in exams. I am different from other students. I realized that I have some special capabilities. I am a student who doesn’t like to study for more than two hours. I like to listen carefully to the lessons in class. After coming home, I don’t like to revise or study again.
So, during exams, I write the answers from my mind, based on what I had heard from my teachers during the class. With this only, I scored top grades in exam days. At exams, sometimes I feel amazed at myself. I always believed in luck and God’s grace more than anyone else. But I didn’t believe in hard work. Oh God… why am I like this?
When having other students as bench mates, I feel very tensed. Absorbing at least 8 hours of study a day feels impossible for me, and I also feel lazy and get bored. At home, I only want to sit like a baby.
An effective study for me is a maximum of 2 hours a day. And these things happen only during exam times
On normal days, I don’t study much. I just enjoy my time watching movies and cartoons . When teachers shuffled the seats, I got new bench mates . From them, I learned new things and felt some new emotions. From 8th grade onwards, the most distracting thought that entered my mind was the eagerness for love.
From my memories, it seems like it was during the rainy season _ a day filled with light rain. I was looking outside through the window of my school vehicle when my eyes wandered to the bus stop on road. That was the first time I saw him.
Even from a distance, I noticed his cat-like eyes. He looked like a high school student, probably a little older than me. He wore a blue shirt and indigo -coloured pants –the uniform that made his fair skin stand out, highlighting his beauty.
He was chewing bubble gum and talking to a friend standing next to him. I didn’t notice his friend’s face, because I was already stunned by the beauty of the protagonist. Yes_ he looked amazing!
But from his uniform, I couldn’t figure out which school he was studying in. oh that’s my bad! While I was gazing at him and admiring his beauty in my mind, suddenly his cute, beautiful eyes turned towards me.
(In my mind: oh God, why is he looking at me? Does he think I’m a pervert? No way-I’m a good student!)
Panicking, I quickly shifted my eyes toward a nearby fruit shop. I tried to convince myself that it looked as if I had been staring at the fruit shop all along, not at him.
But even after I came back to class, I kept thinking about him. I was so curious-I wanted to know more about him.
(In my mind: Oh, what am I even thinking? Why do I feel so relaxed whenever I think about him? Is this even a good thing?)
Still, I noticed that it didn’t affect my focus in class. I listened carefully to the lessons, and it didn’t disturb my studies.
The eagerness to see him grew a little more each day. I wanted to know his name, class, which school he went to, his age, where he came from-but I couldn’t find out.
The next day I saw him at the same spot again. I glanced at him, and as soon as I did, his gaze met mine. we held eye contact for a moment, and I suddenly realized my mistake. I looked away and pretended to watch other things because I didn't want him to know I'd been starting or that I was attracted to him, while inside I was still looking at him.
A few days went by like that. Now it felt like he was looking at me on purpose, as if he were waiting. His eyes never left me; he chewed his gum with a small, hidden smile. I felt something strange- did he noticed that I was attracted I was attracted to him? No way, So I stopped looking. In the following days I read my books in the Vehicle so I wouldn’t stare, but every time we passed him I was curious whether he was looking at me. I checked the vehicle mirror while passing- and realized he really was looking at me.
I didn’t feel happiness. instead, I felt a little uncomfortable, thinking whether he started to love me, or why he was looking at me. Am I attracted to him? Or did he think I am a pervert or something. This can’t be happening. So I decided to cut off everything.
But from those days, I realized that the days I saw him were very lucky days for me. After seeing him, when coming to school, everything happened according to my wishes.
It was strange how my life began to feel connected to him. If I wanted a class test, it happened. If I didn’t want it, it would be postponed or cancelled.
Many days became more enjoyable and even motivating for studying.
Why was this happening? There had to be something special about him.
The day I saw him and went to class, I felt incredibly lucky, as if the whole world was smiling at me. I started to think: Is he truly my Lucky Boy?
Is he my lucky charm?
From here, my story slowly began to turn into something I had never expected… “A Mixed Feeling of Love and Luck”
The next day I had already planned to look at him, because by looking at him the day become filled with good things. But unfortunately, I didn’t see him there at the bus stop. It made me a little bit sad, and that day felt horrible.
One evening, while returning home from school, we were listening to music from the radio in the auto taxi. That day, it played a familiar romantic song…… Oh my God! While listening to the music, my eyes went outside through the window. My lucky boy! I was very happy to see him. He was joking with his friends and returning from school. From that, I realized he was studying in the school that I see on my way to school, and I guessed that he would be in 10th grade, because it was around 5:00 o’clock when we reached his school. All the schools in my area usually ended at 4:00 p.m. The distance between my school and his is about 12 km. So maybe, because of a special class, he was late. Anyway………….
I felt very happy after seeing him. The next day, we left early for school. I thought I would not be able to see him that day because of this. But fortunately, he was there at the bus stop. When we passed by him, his bus came. It was a private bus, and I specially noted the name. Because I was becoming more curious about him.
He was my Lucky boy-but I didn’t know his name yet. So, I secretly called him My lucky boy.
Its suitable for him. After all I was curious about his original name.
So many days passed! I saw him here and there in my journey to school. If I didn’t see him at the bus stop, I would search for him everywhere until I found him at his school spot. But he never saw me. Because I was inside my vehicle, I always looked at him. Near his school, there is a big banyan tree. I made it a memory tree for us. Though I don’t know whether he noticed me or not, I noticed him. So that tree also became a lucky tree for me.
So many days passed... As the days went by, I saw him less and less.
I thought to myself that he was in 10th standard, so maybe he was busy with extra classes- that’s why I didn’t see him.
The days became normal for me again, but my search for him never ended. Because now I knew his home route also, but not his home.
Days passed, my annual exams were over. But I still had to go to school on Saturdays because I was practicing karate there. Yah… I am a karate kid. But those who see me will not believe it... Because I have a gentle appearance. I seem like a soft skinned person with innocent face.
It was my father who always accompanies me to my karate class by private bus.
One day afternoon, after class, as we were returning home by bus , my eyes wandered toward the boys side of the bus stop. There he was, standing by the window, the light falling gently across his face. I hadn’t expected to see him, yet there he was again- unexpected.
From the very first glance, I knew it was him. His eyes met mine for the briefest moment, and then, without hesitation, he stepped into the very same bus where I sat. He sat Just one seat behind me. I wanted to turn, to look at him, but how could I ? My father was right beside me. A strange mix of happiness and sadness surged through me, leaving my heart restless. I couldn’t tell what he was feeling. I was desperate to know, yet I kept my face still, revealing nothing. All my questions, all my feelings, I locked away deep inside my heart.
when the bus reached at the bus stand, I stood up to get down. At that very moment, I saw him rise from his seat as well. For the first time, I looked at him clearly, up close. He was even more handsome than I had imagined-so cute, with a tiny stud glinting in one ear. His hair was clean and neatly kept, his round face carrying quiet charm. I wanted to keep looking. To memorize every detail but before I could, he turned his eyes toward me. My heart Skipped a beat. Embarrassed, I quickly lowered my gaze and stepped away, I felt a quiet sadness, wondering-if I looked at him, what would he think of me? What if, to him, it was nothing more than an ordinary glance? The fear of that thought kept me from turning back. And so, I let the moment slip away, losing all my chances to be near him. Later, I saw him once again, but only from a distance. He noticed me too, yet I was already seated in our vehicle beside sister, with no way to bridge the space between us.
Days passed, yet his face lingered in my thoughts like an unfinished melody. I never found the courage to speak, nor did fate grant me the chance to bridge the silence between us. But perhaps that was the beauty of it – some stories are not meant to be spoken, only felt. A memory that made me smile and feel lucky to begin my day even in his absence. Although our paths drifted apart, a part of me still believes that for a brief, fleeting moment, we truly saw each other.
